nirgel the birgel @nirgelthebirgel - Tumblr Blog

kinda sucks for Zelda that she went to three sacred springs and heard nothing whereas Link can roll up to any dinky old goddess statue and Hylia’s just like, “oh hey man, what’s good, got any orbs?”

nirgelthebirgel

Zelda: Oh Hylia, please answer me, I need your blessing to unlock my powers so I can defeat Ganon!

Hylia: ...

Link: ...

Hylia: ØrBz!?!¡?!?!!!??!?

#loz #botw #link #zelda #funny

lissadiane

Okay, I have a life hack for you.

Last week, I got attacked by the most painful and persistent hiccups of my life at work. My co-worker heard me hiccuping and said, absently, “Got the hiccups?” and I said miserably, “Yeah.” And she said, “Prove it.”

And I glared at her, because why the fuck should I prove anything to her? And I waited for the next hiccup, which would prove that she was a dick and that I was, indeed, suffering from hiccups. And… that hiccup never came. And she smirked and said, “My daughter calls me whenever she has hiccups and when I ask her to prove it, she never can.”

And that was weird. But later that night, I got hiccups AGAIN, so I said to my boyfriend, “I HAVE HICCUPS.” and he said “Yeah, you do.” And I said, “No, ask me to prove it.” And he gave me a look like I was a crazy person, and I hiccuped again and insisted he ask me to prove it and he did and BAM. I couldn’t do it!

And a few days LATER, I got the hiccups WHILE DRIVING ALONE, and I said, out loud, “DUDE, I have the hiccups.” And then, in another voice, “PROVE IT.” And bam. Couldn’t do it.

The moral of the story? Apparently hiccups are little shits who refuse to perform on command.

There you go. Hiccup cure. I can’t promise it’ll work for everyone, but so far, it’s worked for me like six times.

You’re welcome.

sazandorable

I saw this post two years ago and it saved my life (i have hiccups a LOT, and it used to last for ages and get genuinely painful), so I just want to 1) spread this tip again, 2) testify that it even works through text chat for me. I can have a friend type to me “Prove it.” and bam, gone.

nirgelthebirgel

In the third grade I had the case of the hiccups and I told my mom that I loved having the hiccups because "they are like a friend that you don't expect to visit". I shit you not to this day I have not had the hiccups. So not only are they little shits who don't perform on command, but they are also prone to ghosting you when you show them affection.

#funny #textpost #story time #im not making this up #hiccup

Swiggity Swoot

there a snake in my boot

#funny #toy story #snakes #swiggity swooty #memes

When you're a dumb bitch who can't type and send "moos" instead of mood....

#funny #textpost #moose #typo #im dumb

tupacabra

*wakes up with one sock on* whoa what a crazy night

nirgelthebirgel

I know this implies that you took of a sock after wearing a pair to bed. But part of me wants to believe you went to bed with no socks and woke up with one on...

#i did a thing #socks #rb #funny #thoughts