As one ages, it becomes apparent that people tend to pair up. You go from hanging out together, in a giant group, to suddenly, two people start spending time together, without the others. Slowly, it seems like everyone is paired off, and people start saying “Well, who do you like?”, “Don't you have a crush on someone?”, or even, “Why are you all alone? Don't you have friends, or a partner or something?”
You think 'Well, I did have friends, but then they started leaving for their ___friends.' and you don't want to be the odd one out, so you pick someone at random, and think, that person, that is the one I have a crush on, except you don't really know what a crush is. You like the way their hair looks, or the way they dress, or how they make you laugh, but everyone else is talking about this tingly feeling they get when they see the person they like like. You've never felt that, but admitting that would just have more people questioning you; wondering if you are broken.
You don't feel broken, but you don't quite feel like you belong either, so you tell yourself that the tingly feelings will come once you know the person better, but it just doesn't happen.
Then someone tells you that they like you. You, the one who doesn't fit in, the one that never seems to understand exactly what is happening, the one who always seems two steps behind and doesn't have the legend so they can read the map, and you think 'Ah! This! This is my ticket to being normal.'
You agree to liking them back, and for a bit, it is great. You suddenly have someone that wants to talk to you again, and you have an answer now for everyone else's questions. “Yes, I like someone, didn't you know that I have a ___friend now?”
And you fit in again!
Well, at least for a little while you do.
The person you now 'like' eventually wants to do more than just talk. They want to hold hands.
You've never held hands with anyone not family before. The thought of touching another person like that is weird. You think to yourself, 'well, I am just shy, and this is a new relationship, my first in fact, and holding hands is pretty public'. You go from wanting everyone to know that you have a person to not wanting to show it to the world, because holding hands is intimate and public.
They don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to hold their hand, because if you won't hold hands with them, that obviously means you didn't like them, when in fact, you actually did. You cherished the time spent talking with them, and hanging out together, one on one, but you just don't really like being touched.
You go back to being alone again. Being on the outskirts of the school society. After a while, the gossip dies down about you being a 'prude', and someone new comes up to you and says, “I think I like you!”
You think 'Yes! Now I have someone again.” The first thing you do is hold their hand, so that they don't leave you like the last person did.
But they want more. Holding hands isn't enough, you see. They want kisses.
Kisses are so much more than hand holding, and you don't know if you can do that, but suddenly they are just kissing you right on the mouth without any warning it seems, and it's not the worst thing ever. It doesn't feel like everyone else describes, but it's not entirely unpleasant. It is wet, and kind of gross, if you are being honest, but if it keeps you from being alone, you think you can put up with it.
Until you just can't anymore. You break up. You are alone again.
Alone isn't so bad. You have your books. You carry one around with you everywhere. You are no longer alone, you have all your friends with you.
Except they aren't really your friends. They aren't real, you see. They are just words printed on pages, and while you know every detail about them, they know nothing about you. You start craving human attention again. Besides, people are starting to talk and call you weird, since you would rather read a book than go on dates.
Once, when you are sitting at home, in your safe space, or at least as safe of place it could be with your family who doesn't really understand you there, and you are reading another book, there is a knock on the door.
Your father answers it.
“Hello, sir. I'm here for ___. I was wondering if I could take them out on a date.”
Before you can answer for yourself, you father, who just wants you to do normal things, and not just sit at home reading all weekend, answers for you. “They'd love to. I'll go get them.”
Now you have to go on a date. It's not the worst thing ever. They are funny, and don't look unpleasant, so you agree to date them. You've looked up guides on the internet on kissing now, so now you know how to take control, so it doesn't feel like their tongue is invading your mouth anymore.
One time when you are kissing, and they are moaning (should you also be moaning? Maybe you should try. Oh god, that sounded so weird, but now they are writhing against you, so maybe they liked it?). They then work their hand under your shirt. You decide you like the skin on skin contact. Their skin feels nice against yours, but then they work their hand into your pants. Suddenly you don't like skin contact anymore. You are writhing, but they think its good writhing, and you are being invaded.
The contact isn't bad, but it doesn't do anything for you, and it is unwanted. But if you tell them it is unwanted, they might leave you, and you will be alone again. So you let them. They want to do this all the time now, and they want you to start touching them too. You just want to fit in, so you do it. For a while at least. They want more than touching, but you can't give them more, so they leave you too.
You wonder if this is how everyone feels.
It is near your final year of school. You have developed a friend now who also doesn't seem to like other people like that. You think you are safe. Then they reveal that they only hang out with you so much because they have a crush on you.
If you say you don't like them like that, you will lose your best friend. So you agree to dating. You go further with them than anyone else because that's what normal relationships are like, and if you just try hard enough, you can be normal too.
It's painful. And boring. You try again, and it doesn't get any better. You think it might be because you are both virgins.
They tell you they love you during, once. You tell them you don't know if you love them or not, and how you feel, because they are your best friend.
They say they understand, and that they will be there no matter what.
You decide you would rather just be friends with them, because you don't enjoy that stuff with them, and they call you a freak. They spread it around school what you look like in your intimate areas. Everyone is laughing at you, but you don't understand why. Then they tell you they can't be without you, and they'd be better off dead than without. You panic.
They don't do anything drastic, but you still feel so much guilt inside. You caused another person to feel like that because you are broken.
You find a new person. This one you approach first. You have heard from others how good they are, so you want to try.
Turns out they are better. They know what they are doing, and so it no longer hurts. It even starts to feel kind of good. You never really go out, but you are exclusive.
You are going off to college though, so you break it off with them. At college there is this person. They are cute. You tell them your boundaries. They never really respect your boundaries, claiming that when you get a person all hot and bothered, you can't expect them not to act on it. You don't know, because you've never really been all hot and bothered, so you take their word for it.
Turns out you were just part of their 'duties' to get into an exclusive club on campus.
You meet a new person. You actually enjoy spending time with them, and you both enjoy doing the same things, and it doesn't feel like you have to work to be with them. You can just be with them, without having to think about every motion. They like being intimate though, and you decide you can do that.
You actually feel pretty good with them, and you wonder if this is what everyone else has been feeling this entire time. You stay with them. Forever. But the newness of enjoying it wears off after a while, and you start dreading intimate time with them. You start staying up late, so you don't go to bed at the same time as them, so there is less of a chance of it happening.
Then you come across this term. Asexual. You don't think anything of it at first. Sure, you can understand where they are coming from, in some of the examples, but you've been intimate a lot, and they are are saying they are repulsed by the very idea.
But then your partner comes across a similar term, demisexual, and they tell you about it. It fits a lot more, but still not perfect. But you didn't know there could be other versions of it. You research more, and discover there are many different versions. You finally decide on greysexual, and that feels right. You tell your partner, excited to know there are others like you, and they are happy for you.
You get married to them. You think this hand you were dealt isn't so bad after all.
And then they tell you that if they knew you were asexual from the beginning they probably wouldn't be with you, but that they do love you, and a happy being with you.
And you have to live with that for the rest of your life.
When Tom Riddle was in school, and asked if he could stay for the summer, his orphanage that he had absolutely no ties to, no family at all, and where no one would miss him was in London.
I know right?? this is a question that has been plaguing me for years. here are my hypotheses:
that’s just how people tend to perceive people who display symptoms of ADHD, even if it’s also evident that they are highly intelligent.
the show is mostly told through katara’s pov. of course, there are plenty of scenes wherein we see sokka separate from katara, but literally every episode begins with the framing device of her narration. it is literally told through her voice. and everyone thinks their siblings are stupid.
he doesn’t seem to take himself very seriously. and it’s not readily apparent that many of his goofier jokes are generally attempts to ease the tension and keep morale high. he’s a pragmatist, and he knows that the child soldiers are probably more likely to listen to him if they’re not dwelling on their (ginormous) problems all the time.
people who don’t tend to frequent academic circles may not actually be aware that more…cerebral people just act Like That. the smartest people you’ll ever meet are real eccentric little weirdos. not always, but they do tend to have some (innocuous) idiosyncrasies that they can get away with—especially if they have tenure. and while sokka may be a military strategist/warrior by necessity, he is a scientist by nature.
people also think toph is immature, katara is perfect, zuko is a “hot brooding angsty bad boy” (whatever that means), mai is mean, azula is psychotic, ty lee is dumb—they may just not have been watching the show all that well.
There’s always a lingering question that I ask myself, which is why do I, a cis bisexual woman, enjoy romance between two men so much?
There are easy answers, like that it’s just fetishizing. And like, I find men attractive, yes. But I also find women attractive. I don’t have a problem with enjoying het romance, assuming I can find good ones. I enjoy stories with female characters I can relate to.
But there’s something much deeper at play, IMO. A friend of mine who is a gender studies professor was the first person to point this out to me, but a lot of women enjoy m/m romance and gay porn because of the lack of women. It removes a source of pressure and sexism. Without any women present, you don’t have to constantly evaluate the sexism of their portrayal, or be reminded of negative experiences in your own life. It allows women to experience romance and especially sexuality without all the baggage that comes with it in our patriarchal society.
This was recently illustrated to me rather dramatically. I read a recommendation for a het romance. And it sounded cute, and came highly recommended. The tropes at play were fun. Until I read a snippet and realized this was a romance between a woman and her boss. I had a visceral negative reaction.
Instantly I’m thinking of sexual harassment stories I’ve read and heard from other women. I’m thinking of how uncomfortable it would be to have your boss develop feelings for you. How icky the power dynamics would be, etc.
And then I realized…this wouldn’t bother me if it were two men. Now, there’s no logical reason for that. Sexual harassment is just as wrong when its object is a man. But I know I’ve read fics with a similar premise and never thought about it. Because when it’s two men I can accept this is just a light romance, a fantasy, meant to be fun and sexy and not to represent the real world.
But I can’t when it’s a het relationship. There’s too much baggage there. Too much societal history of abuse. I can’t relax enough with the premise to enjoy that story.
Now some people can. And that’s fine. And some people are never going to be okay with power imbalances like that regardless of gender. That’s also fine. I don’t think having either reaction makes one morally superior. It’s okay to just enjoy light entertainment for what it is without going into deep analysis.
But it’s much more difficult for me, and I think for many women, to relax and enjoy romantic and sexual stories when they involve female characters. We’ve been burned too many times by shitty depictions, by shallow role models, by abuse portrayed as romantic. We have developed a stress response, a trauma response to heterosexual romance. We are hyper-reactive to a wide variety of triggers in regards to it. But removing women from the equation makes stories safer for us. And maybe it shouldn’t? In an ideal world? But for many of us, that’s the truth.
So this post blew up in the last 24 hours, for whatever reason, and I was looking through people’s responses, as you do. I’m quite moved that so many found it relatable.
But I wanted to highlight one set of tags (via @reallifepotato )
Because I AM comfortable with my sexuality and fairly comfortable with my body, but still, this resonates so hard as someone who has always been overweight. The amount that our society teaches women to constantly compare ourselves, almost always negatively with every other woman out there, can utterly ruin our enjoyment of this kind of thing. Like how many times have you tried to watch a mainstream romantic comedy where some utterly gorgeous actress is bemoaning that she can’t get a date, or WORSE is made out to be less than attractive. And you look at her and go…but she’s fucking perfect? And you just want to puke.
But with m/m romance you can put yourself in the place of either character and…not compare yourself. You can enjoy a character being attractive without feeling bad about yourself, which is REALLY HARD to do for any woman in our fucked up culture.
for further reading, author Malinda Lo wrote a piece about how queer women feeling more comfortable with mlm stories than with wlw stories (due to wlw stories hitting too close to home) might help contribute to the lack of wlw representation in young adult literature — The Invisible Lesbian in Young Adult Fiction: A Culture of Misogyny Erases the Stories of Queer Girls
it’s a different perspective, because she’s writing as an author who wants to know why wlw books often get marginalized within the young adult genre and when it comes to awards, but worth the read. I think it really helps tie together the experiences on this post: that sometimes the things you write and read reflect more what you’re comfortable facing than what you personally identify with, and how, if you’re ready to and want to, you can try to get past that
and of course, though it’s not the point of this post, it’s worth keeping in mind that however much value mlm fiction has for women, it’s important to be mindful that we don’t fetishize mlm just because we enjoy the romance, and that it’s always good to support ownvoices mlm romance over mlm romance written by straight women! not that i think there’s any of that on the post, it’s just such an important part of the discourse around m/m romance books that i’d feel awkward reblogging without any mention
My brain keeps returning to this idea – what if, in POA (movie universe), Harry never realizes that the crane Malfoy sent him was a note (because I mean, who would)? Like he just stares at it, confused, then goes “okay” sets it down on his desk and goes back to ignoring Snape
I mean, Draco would be furious because how dare you not appreciate my bullying Potter and the next class they have together, he grabs another piece of paper, writes something along the lines of “You suck Potter”, folds another crane and blows it over – only for it to be left sitting on Harry’s desk again after the lesson, and Harry didn’t even look inside, he didn’t do anything with this damn crane, and Draco is absolutely seething from this lack of attention
So he does it again. And again. And again.
First it’s insults (because of course he hates Potter, they’re archenemies, never mind the actual murderer stalking Harry at this very moment) – “I hope you die Potter” “I wish I met Sirius Black I’d help him” “Your glasses are appalling why do you still have the same ones from first year your prescription can’t possibly be the same you moron” “Eat a bag of dicks Potter” – but a month goes by and he’s running out of things to say and Potter never reads the notes anyway so Draco just starts ranting about everything else he finds annoying
Soon the cranes are just a way of venting – talk about your day, fold a beautiful crane, send it to the person you definitely hate the most. He still tries to snark and generally antagonize every time he sees Potter, because it’s practically my duty to take the Golden Boy down a peg, Goyle – but he can’t do it the same way anymore, so he takes a step back – in everything except the cranes.
Every day, every class, and sometimes at breakfast, a crane will land next to Harry Potter’s elbow. Without fail. Harry will pick it up, stare at it, and set it back down. Or maybe slip it into his bag, and Draco’s stomach flips the first time he does that.
It’s almost like they’re friends. By now, Draco’s told him things he never even voiced to his friends – that he’s actually terrified of the Dementors, that he keeps feeling like he’s not good enough, because no matter what he tries, there’s always somebody better than him at it – that he still can’t understand why Harry didn’t want to be his friend that time on the train, seriously Potter what did I do? you didn’t even know me! – and Potter didn’t crumple any of the cranes, so maybe he doesn’t hate him so much anymore?.. Draco knows Potter never reads these notes, but he likes to pretend that Harry knows all these things about him. And maybe even cares a little.
It’s stupid, and he really shouldn’t be putting any of such personal details in writing (honestly Lucius would be so disappointed, these cranes are perfect blackmail material and what the hell are you thinking Draco yells Draco’s inner voice) – but he can’t stop. It’s become a habit, and Potter stared at him for fifteen minutes at lunch today, so he can’t stop. Draco keeps talking, and making Harry little doodles, and trying not to smile too obviously when another crane ends up in Harry’s pocket.
And meanwhile, Harry’s going nuts. He just doesn’t understand what Malfoy wants from him, or why he doesn’t run into him so often anymore – and the cranes really seem to be just paper (Ron why does Malfoy know origami is this a general wizard thing or is it just him), and they’re delicate and elegant, and he feels bad about destroying them – so he just leaves them.
Until, of course, he absentmindedly shoves one in his bag one day – and finds it that evening. Sighs and sets it on his bedside table, because what else can he do?.. Even if he throws it out, he’ll just get a new one tomorrow. Or three.
He’s confused, because Malfoy isn’t even so loud or dramatic anymore, it’s almost as if he’s trying not to attract attention – beyond the cranes – but Harry’s eyes are glued to him anyway. He knows that Malfoy has to be up to something, because of course he is – but he just can’t tell what, there’s no way to know, and holy shit Ron he just smiled at me what the hell is he planning – and all this time, the pile of cranes on his bedside table keeps growing
He doesn’t lie awake at night, thinking of Malfoy’s smile. He doesn’t. Really.
The next day, when he gets his morning crane, he flashes Malfoy a brilliant smile, and laughs at his stunned expression like ha, two can play at this game! Gotcha now! and he’s still thinking that Malfoy’s messing with his mind – except he can’t help but think that it would be nice if Draco was really like that. If he really just sent the cranes over to brighten Harry’s day. If there wasn’t something else behind this, because he’s starting to like it.
All this goes on until Hermione barges into their dormitory again, in the ungodly hours of the morning, like she usually does – and stops dead, staring at the pile of cranes, Ron may have been complaining but she never imagined the true extent of this new, yet age-old obsession. And of course, Harry tries to protest, that it’s all for science, Hermione, I have to find out what he’s up to and this is the only source of information – but the excuses run dry when she quizzes him a bit and finds out that none of the cranes are cursed, or charmed to yell insults, or anything, really
So she’s like “well have you tried to unfold one” and no he didn’t, who the heck writes notes inside a crane anyway, isn’t it an artwork?? But hey, that’s an idea, and that night the trio gets together, sitting on Harry’s bed with the crane he just got in Charms, bated breath and all, waiting for it to unleash something nasty (Harry finds himself really really hoping it won’t)
All kinds of security measures done, and they unfold it
Hermione’s like “oh. Oohh,” and Ron’s eyebrows fly away to roam the world
Because inside
there’s a shitty little drawing of Harry and Draco holding hands, with little hearts all around
Things you will need: maple syrup, a large-ish heavy set pot, a candy thermometer, silicone spatula, and a candy mold of some sort.
I'm making a reasonably large batch, so I am using approximately 28-30 fluid ounces. Which is roughly two and three quarter cups if you do not own a set of measuring scales.
The thermometer I am using in this instance is a wired one with a probe on the end, but you can also use one of these bad boys:
Just make sure it's intended to be used for the high temperatures of candy, as not all food thermometers are made equal.
Step one pour your desired amount of maple candy into a heavy set pot. I am using a 4 quart pot for this, as this amount of syrup can bubble over easily.
Next set your pot on a medium heat. Not high. Medium. We’re in this for the slow burn.
Make sure to monitor the heat of your candy at all times. We are aiming for a boiling 235’f (or 112 in Celsius) anything below that it won't harden, anything above that you'll either turn it into hard candy and burn the shit out of it and your pot and may need to explain to your local fire department why you're making candy at 1am. Don't ask me now, I know this.
It goes without saying, but please be careful handing this mixture. Hot sugar can be extremely dangerous and the burns quite severe so please take your time and don't panic. It the pot burns the pot burns. It's better than burning you.
Stir often to help increase the granulation process. It may not look like much is happening at first but you will soon start to see some activity on the surface.
The heat will soon start to pick up rather quickly at this point and it should start to look something like this:
And now I'm at the pic limit so see you on the reblog.
At this point your candy will be at about 225ish. And it's going to feel like it stays that way FOREVER as it struggles to get up that final ten degrees but do not be tempted to increase the heat or walk away. That's when it gets you and you're saying hi to Ron from the fire department. Again.
Keep stirring and don't be alarmed if it starts to rise up the side of the pot, it's meant to.
You can if necessary turn the heat down to keep it from overflowing, but I find keeping up a steady stirring pace helps to keep it in the pot.
Once it hits 235’f let it sit there for a hot minute, all the while keeping an eye on the thermometer.
If it starts hitting 236’f remove it from the heat and allow it to cool until it reaches 175’f or 79’c.
This will take approximately 10-15 minutes, or in my case the time it took eat a gluten-free cornbread waffle cause it's now 1:20 am, and I'm hungry.
Bone Ape Petite. 💀 🧇 😘👌
Once it's cooled to approximately 175’f, it's time to start stirring like a court bard with gossip to spread. I'm short so I had to move to the kitchen table to do this so my arms wouldn't fall off.
Before you do that though, take your thermometer out. And there's a little trick, you'll know you had the mixture hot enough if it's already starting to form a skin like this:
And also if it clings a little to the thermometer:
Mmmmm viscous.
Now start stirring. It's going to take approximately five minutes of constant stirring. Yes I'm serious. This is a workout. Be sure to scrape down the sides of the pot. We wouldn't want to lose any of the precious syrup. It will start to lighten in color as you go. So here are the stages it may look like:
Once your mixing utensil is coated in the mixture like so:
It's time to pour that delicious mixture into your candy mold. Do not attempt to film this step one-handed or your significant other may wake up from a dead sleep demanding to know with inhuman instincts for dangerous shenanigans ”what bullshit you're up to”
If you left it a little too long cause you're trying to take pictures on your own, don't worry, the mixture should still be malleable enough to smoosh out with your spatula. If you have accidentally solidified it into a substance harder than diamond and can't get it out the pot, you can return it briefly to a low heat until it remembers the primordial state of ooze from whence we all came. Leave it to cool, throw some warm water in your pot to dissolve the sugar you couldn't scrape out even with a chisel.
When you can press lightly against it without leaving a dent, your mixture is cool enough to pop them out of your mold and into a preferably airtight storage container.
Lament that you took this picture the wrong way round, but concede it is now 2:22 am, and you don't care enough to fix it.
And there you have it, maple candy! They should last approximately four weeks in an airtight container. But, if you are anything like me, you are already halfway through them and careering not-so-gently towards a sugar-induced ADHD blackout because nothing else is helping you focus, you're a week behind on a deadline, and you can't have caffeine any more, so sugar is your only hope.
Remember, kids, eat sugar responsibly and do as I say, not as I do.
HP, Harry/Sirius, 4k, M, WIP, dimension travel, time travel, magical worldbuilding, teacher/student
A grownup Harry Potter falls into an alternate universe. He helps Dumbledore defeat Voldemort, and finds himself teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts to his parents and a Slytherin Sirius Black, whose magic strangely seems suited to his own.
Getting through the year may prove tougher than defeating the Dark Lord.
don’t just scroll past this actually watch it, it’s only 2 minutes long. If you re-recorded this today word for word with modern actors and places, it wouldn’t even look out of place as a PSA
This is - legitimately - my favourite delivery of Shakespeare I have EVER seen (and I have seen some good-ass productions yo, in the Globe Theatre itself even). Like seriously, even though the words are unchanged, he’s stripped away ALL of the archaic pretense and assumed grandeur of ~presenting the bard~ that makes even the most wildly talented of actors and innovative of productions inherently inaccessible to a modern audience. Like, they’re still great, they can still communicate the message and (some) of the nuance, but they’re still always a step removed from being identifiable to any viewer’s lived experience. They’re still always reciting 15th century poetry. But this guy? This guy is like, screw iambic pentameter, to hell with being precious about the material, HOW WOULD AN ACTUAL PERSON SAY THIS SHIT?
Like this. And it’s beautiful. It’s beautiful to hear a soliloquy I loved so much already, and have it come to life in a way it never, ever, did before. I feel like I grasp his motivations, his twists and turns, no longer on an academic level but on a visceral, instinctive one. Because he’s presenting his mental and emotional journey in a way that speaks honestly, like a real person.
So yeah, this shit post? I love it. Deeply and sincerely.
ellievsbear
pixelskylines
titsay
janainaart
2087
jbbartram-illu
gummygunk
yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
