my fingers feel like wood.

[noonecallsusanymore]

chuck mcgill had thwarted his brother for as long as he could. however, at some point, he threw in the towel. jimmy was destined to harm people, and there was nothing that chuck could do to stop the man. jimmy had ruined his life, too: he acted in a way that resulted in insurance issues for chuck and for his firm. chuck had finally been making progress in therapy, too. for the longest time, he'd denied that he had a mental health problem. eventually, the evidence was too in-his-face to be denied any longer. regardless of his progress, things still felt too little, too late. he regretted how his suicide had affected others, including howard. he knew that he'd left his friend and colleague in an impossible situation. "i could use another cup of coffee," chuck admitted to someone who sat beside him at the front counter of the breakfast place. "... perhaps i could convince you to have another orange juice. you have been the best company i have had in a while."

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

finnick odair was fortunate that he had a wife who understood his sacrifice. he wondered if he would have made a different decision, had he known that annie cresta was pregnant. he'd always been a hero, even if most people did not know about that part of him. he was willing to sacrifice everything, should doing so put a stop to the games. young people did not deserve to die in such violent ways, nor did anyone else for that matter. he'd never forget how the fog had taken mags away from him. he knew that she'd been older, but she did not deserve to die like that, yet another victim of a country that did not care about people. finnick had his toes dipped into ocean waves which lapped eagerly at the shore. he exhaled in relief as the cold water rejuvenated him. "i was not expecting someone else to be here at this hour," the man observed, turning to look over his shoulder when the person approached him.

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

as odd as it sounded, sirius black was still getting used to what freedom felt like, because in the grand scheme of things, he hadn't been free for all that long. he'd died in a terrible way, slayed by bellatrix, but he should have known better than to let his guard down. he'd been a strong fighter, but that did not mean that he was invincible, and he should have known as much. now, he'd been granted another chance, but he still had few connections here. perhaps part of him was scared about getting attached to people who he could lose. then again, that was part of living, was it not? it seemed better to love people and to lose them than to not become rooted at all. "good morning," sirius greeted when he was on a local trail. being in nature had always been comforting to him: it was so unlike prison. a polar opposite, in truth. "i like your dog. is it all right if i say hello?" sirius elected to inquire then.

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

sandor clegane knew that he'd made an unwise decision. he'd chosen to die defeating his brother, even if he'd progressed beyond that point, in the grand scheme of things. even though arya stark had insinuated that he was selfish, he'd fought for her, and he would have fought for sansa, too, had the girl come with him. adjusting to a modern world was more challenging for him than was the case for other folks. however, he was doing his best. he kept to himself much of the time, living in a large tent on the outskirts of the city. he much preferred the solitude, and living under the stars, when compared to living in some congested and busy apartment building. that was not a context in which he was meant to live, to occupy himself, to feel the most grounded and comfortable. sandor watched idly as a person crossed in front of where he ambled. "you trying to fuck up my plans?" sandor asked. although his words were harsh, his tone could have been harsher than it presently was.

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

many people might argue that pax deserved to be prosecuted for what he'd done to the dutch businessman. the man's murder had occurred in a context in which direct harm was not occurring. however, pax knew the potential, in addition to avenging josh's death. he knew that if allowed to walk free, the dutch businessman would butcher a countless number of people, if not stopped. and there was no way that pax was allowing such a thing to happen. "hey! i promise that i'm not here to solicit. i'm just handing out business cards," pax mentioned, extending one of his own via his prosthetic fingers. "... i'm a lawyer, if you can believe it. i can't believe that i get to say that, but... yeah... if you ever need one, maybe you can reach out to me." pax put the rest of his cards away, not wanting to yack this person's ear off either. "... my name is pax, by the way. short for paxton, but that is what people call me."

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

when he'd first arrived in this city several months ago, he'd been almost despondent. he had been coping with mental health symptoms which deteriorated across a time period of over a decade. most people did not know what it was like to be trapped in a place for ten years. deprived of sunlight. having nothing to eat but rats. hunted by demons who kept him alive for reasons that he did not understand. he'd made some progress over the past several months. he felt less disconnected from reality completely. lance could now focus on secondary needs, such as forming friendships. he wanted to believe that in some alternative timeline, his friends were still alive. sasha, houston, t.c., matt: any and all of them. he wished that he could apologize for not being able to protect them, even if said failure was not his fault. "good morning," he greeted, trying for a smile. he was successful, even if his grin was slight. "... are you having a nice morning? at least the sun is shining," he said.

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

now that gordon fleming had received mental health treatment, he was able to be more self-aware. to realize how mental health symptoms had contributed to his actions. he hated himself for what transpired: he killed men who had been his closest friends for decades. he killed his wife, their infant daughter. many people might try to claim that he had insight into his actions, but said people did not know the truth. they did not know about his lack of an ability to trust in his own perceptions. gordon did not know how he was to move forward. he wished that his companions were here as well, and yet he did not at the same time. how could he explain to phil? to mike? to hank? to any and all of them? they would be terrified of him, even if he would not repeat what had occurred, finally on the right medications and counseling treatments. "do you believe that people can be inherently bad?" he asked of the person with whom he was conversing. "... does context always matter?"

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

there were so many moments during which jesse pinkman should have left his life behind. he should have taken off during the tuco conflict. he should have chosen to disappear when he was given the chance. he never would have been tortured by todd. prior to that experience, he thought that life could not become worse, but he'd been completely wrong: things could become worse, and there was nothing quite like the harm that todd had done. forced to cook. forced to watch andrea die. forced to wonder if brock would be murdered, too. jesse should have known better, but he did not care anymore. he had a joint lit and he exhaled as someone approached him. "i know, i know," jesse started, expecting to be admonished. "... but i don't really care. i'm not trying to be a dick, yo. but this is the only thing that..." jesse stopped himself, not finishing his sentence. perhaps they would not care about his circumstances whatsoever anyways. "... makes me feel calm," he said.

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

it was the anticipation before his execution that had been worse than his death itself, and perhaps for that, he should feel grateful. and yet, he could not feel that way. many people might argue that jang deok-su was the most deserving of being in a context like that of the games. however, did anyone deserve the fates that they had met? deok-su knew that, no matter the lifetime, he would never be a world peace laureate or someone deserving of softness. but he liked to think that he could be, at the very least, less bad than he'd been in his previous life. he was quite isolated here: he did not have friends. he did not have family. and he was not doing himself any favors, because he was bitter and angry. he was frustrated and overwhelmed. "i'm not in the habit of sharing these," deok-su mentioned, an already-lit cigarette hanging between his lips as he addressed the person who stood beside him. "or this..." he continued, referring to the umbrella held over his head now.

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

some might argue that daniel rigg was the least deserving of being targeted by the jigsaw killer. of course, that was prefaced by the fact that no one deserved to be so-called tested in the first place. rigg's biggest sin? doing his job and trying to prevent people from dying. allison kerry was targeted for a similar reason: because she was devoted to her job and did not have a family of her own. it still irked him: the things that he did not know about what eric matthews had done. he'd planted evidence. he roughed-up suspects. he caused people to go to jail who had not committed the crimes for which they were convicted. rigg wished that he could have one more interaction with eric matthews so that he could ask him WHY. even if the answer might be obvious. fame and notoriety. rewards and money. "are you all right?" rigg asked when he noticed someone who was crying on a park bench. "... i take it that you are not. i'm happy to sit with you. to listen for a while," he said.

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

hank schrader had done next to everything wrong: he should have listened to marie. to steve gomez, too. he should have brought his suspicions, and later confirmations, to the DEA. however, he had not done that, and because of him, his dearest friend and colleague was dead. shot by nazi scum. wearing too many bullets to count them all. hank had been with the DEA for so many years, but he did not know if he could do that kind of work again. perhaps he could return to the summer job that was so often on his mind. tagging trees rather than targeting soulless people. surrounded by so much violence that it had become almost commonplace for him to observe it. "hey there," he greeted when another patron sat beside him at the bar. part of him wondered if he should keep to himself. as tempting as doing so was, he also realized that he needed to connect with people in this city. "you heading out? or could you use another round?" hank elected to react.

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

skyler would blame herself for what happened back home no matter the number of lifetimes that she was extended. she should have heeded her lawyer, right from the beginning: she should have divorced walt and sued him for damages. but she hadn't done that: she remained and she lost everything. worst of all was that she'd severed trust with her sister and hank was dead. even though walt had tried to save hank, she did not know that. she could not believe a single word out of walt's mouth, and therefore, she believed either that walt killed hank himself or at least did not intervene. she was exhausted, and while she was looking forward to hitting the reset button here, she also was heartbroken that flynn was not in town. even though he was seventeen years old and perfectly capable of caring for himself, she still wanted to be around to help him. "i'm... i'm sorry?" skyler said when she heard someone address her. it was probably a coincidence, but it still made her heart sink. she was terrified of being recognized here. "is there something that i can do for you?" was this person connected to walt?

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

cho hyun-ju often thought about the past. she thought about her financial desperation and how hard it had been to even survive where she was from. she'd wanted the money in order to support her transition. she'd experienced so much discrimination that it had been challenging to stomach things. she'd been a strong contender in the games, but she'd been someone with a kind heart, too. that reality made her destined for failure, even if she did not know that at the time. she wanted to believe that she could win. that maybe young-mi could, too, in addition to other people whom she'd grown to care for, even in a short span of time. "excuse me? excuse me? hi there. sorry. i did not mean to interrupt you," she mentioned, wearing a gentle smile as she spoke. "... i was wondering if you were the one who dropped this?" hyun-ju asked, referring to the crisp money bill in her hands as she gestured.

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

he'd been in enough 'culture shock' moments in his life. it was hard enough to depart from russia to boston. however, he was still not feeling up to making yet another transition. he tried to remind himself that shane would want him to find contentment. ilya hoped that he deserved the steps forward that he was taking. it was exhausting to cope with the experiences that he'd suppressed for so long. he missed his mother during times like these, and as complicated of a man as his father had been, he still even missed the man occasionally. not nearly as much as he missed his mother, of course. "no autographs today," ilya mentioned, but he said what he did prematurely. he had no proof that this person knew who he was, let alone that they would ask him for an autograph. at one point, he allowed himself to look up once more. "sorry. not in the mood," he admitted, itching for a cigarette right now.

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

i have the tools to cut someone open. i don't have the tools to save a life, amanda recalled doctor lynn denlon say to her. she thought about the woman often, even when she did not want to. she'd casted lynn as the villain in her story, even if that was not true. amanda had been desperately jealous. while she knew that she should not kill lynn, she decided to do so because mark had threatened her. she would rather die than to have john find out about her role in jill's miscarriage, even if her role had been indirect. amanda was taking a hike one day, wanting to get out of her work and home environments. hoping that some fresh air would bring solace to her, especially as she continued to process the traumas of her past. this city had to be too good to be true, she often told herself. things would revert back to hell for her. that had to be true. she did not understand alternative outcomes. "is it much further to the top?" amanda asked, humor entering her tone. "i am out of breath."

@ragdclls

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

baelor breakspear continued to labor with guilt when he considered how he'd departed from westeros, killed by his brother, an accidental incident, but a terrible one all the same. his death meant that his dear sweet jena was left on her own, including to care for their boys by herself. it was all terribly unfair, and yet, baelor could not reverse his decisions. come what might, he wished that he could be a better partner to jena. to prove to her that he was sorry and that he would put her first, should a reunion transpire. baelor was standing at a public fire, his different-colored eyes taking in the comforting sight of the flames. that was when he noticed someone come to stand beside him, taking in the sights for themselves, too. "there is something glorious about a strong fire, is there not?" baelor inquired, trying for a smile and finding success in that feat. "it provides me with a perverse sort of comfort."

@ragdclls

@dontdreamitsovcr

[noonecallsusanymore]

alexander romero doubted that he'd ever been in love prior to norma bates. their marriage started out as one intended to help her with insurance coverage, but it developed into something more rather quickly. perhaps some covert part of him had loved her even prior to their choice to get married. maybe it remained hidden within him, and he simply did not realize the extent of his feelings. alex understood that norma's relationship with her son was complicated. however, it broke his heart that it was her attempts at understanding which resulted in her death. alex knew right away that it was norman who killed norma. and, in the end, while he'd tried to avenge her, he'd proven to be unsuccessful, murdered himself. "good afternoon," he greeted after knocking on a town-person's door. "... my name is alex romero and i am a police officer in our city," he shared. "... i am asking people in the neighborhood if they saw a certain person. i have a photo. would you mind taking a look and letting me know if you saw him?" alex asked.

@ragdclls

@dontdreamitsovcr