NotQuiteMissInnocent

I face the music when it's dire.

[saveyourselfstayalive]

I don’t even know where my sadness is coming from anymore.

(via saveyourselfstayalive)

[bidoof]

the best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened and they’ll instantly start celebrating too and they have no idea what the context is they’re just always ready to party no matter what

[extrasad]

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

[martinawrites]

this need to be on everyone’s blog

[sleepybambi]

this makes me think..

[janoskipornhub-deactivated20150]

God bless whoever wrote this.

[ioanaslovesongs]

im crying

[phanscuddles]

I never usually reblog things like this.. but if it saves just one persons life… please take thime to read this even if you think there is no point in living. Please.

[webofgoodnews]

Have some faith in humanity!

[mydemisee]

THE LAST ONE.

[setbabiesonfire]

I reblogged so fast for the last one.

[the-sassy-cosplayer-deactivated]

I’ve seen many cruelties in this world, but those are small in comparison to the kind light shown by many. This makes me cry because it shows there is hope for this world.

[massrootsapp]

[wonderlandsolace]

I keep forgetting that ...

it’s not normal to go weeks without eating, or forcing yourself to eat until it hurts or making yourself puke 5 times in a row or taking handfuls of laxative or being terrified of scales or being obsessed with being thin

I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to be like this anymore. My thoughts are consumed with being thin and loosing weight. I have no idea how to get out of this mindset..it’s honestly scary.

“Don’t let me be gone”…..

[prone-to-suicidal-tendencies]

[notquitemissinnocent]

Whenever I start to know what true happiness is, something happens and all I want is to be numb again. To allow myself to fall into this hole filled to the brim with saddness, hate and pain so I can feel something when I'm tired of being numb. To feel the blade slice into my skin, a pretty red line following its path. To see everything I just ate be flushed away. But I can't. Everything has to stay hidden in my mind, where I will slowly be killed from the inside out from the torturous thoughts. I will be living the life I always wanted while also living the life I want to end.

[arent-we-all-suicidal-blog]

“I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead”- Sylvia Plath

[written-lonliness]

Please don't start cutting

  Cuts will get worse. 

each time you will want to go a little bit deeper

each time you want to make a few more

each time you will want to see more blood 

each time you want to feel a little more numb

The urge to cut will become more frequent.

During school 

waking up

shaving

getting dressed

cooking

every second will be surrounded with it somehow 

Scars will be harder to cover

People will ask why you don’t want to go swimming

your parents will notice the long sleeves

friends will question the bracelets

the excuses will run out, trust me

TRYING TO STOP IS HARD

when something goes wrong, you will want to cut again

stress can make you want to cut

you will miss the feeling

you will crave the numbness

seeing something sharp will trigger you

seeing your scars will trigger you

you will miss the blood tripping down your arms/legs/ect

when you relapse you will want to go back to your old ways

getting a fucking paper cut can trigger you

Scars last forever

When you are looking for a job they will be there

when you are rasing a kid with your significant other they will be there

your parents will see them at special events and get a sinking feeling in their gut

they will be there on your wedding day

they will be there on a first date

they will be there when you want to go to the beach

they will be there when you grow old

they will be there, forever

SCARS FADE BUT DONT DISAPPEAR

You will spend all of your money

Spending money on gauze

spending money on pencil sharpeners

spening money on concelaer 

spending money on long pants and sweatshirts

spending money on bracelets

You will miss out on memories

no swimming 

no movie night because your trying to get the blood out of your clothes 

you will not do things because people may see your cuts

no dresses so no parties

no t-shirts so no summer hang outs

the fear of being caught will eat you alive

the fear of seeing the doctor and they catch sight of them

the fear of your sleeve going up during a test

the fear of shorts will show your cuts

the fear of someone maybe catching you doing it

the fear of someone asking why your clothes are blood stained

the fear of someone finding out and telling your parents

the fear of someone knowing and you being forced to stop

HAVING THE WANT TO HARM YOURSELF ISNT NORMAL AND IS AN EMERGENCY.

  DONT TRY TO KEEP IT IN, DONT TRY TO SOLVE IT ON YOUR OWN. TELL SOMEONE PLEASE! TELL ANYONE, A FRIEND, A SIGNIFICANT OTHER, YOUR PARENTS, A DOCTOR, A GUIDENCE COUNCILER, ANYONE, BUT SEEK HELP. PEOPLE LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU, PLEASE GET HELP BEFORE YOU CUT. 

SELF HARMING THOUGHTS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AND PEOPLE WILL NOT THINK YOU ARE LOOKING FOR ATENTION. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY! 

[broken-sweet-heart-blog]

Maybe I’m better of dead.

Sleeping with Sirens - Better of dead (via broken-sweet-heart)

[i-justreally-like-cats-okay]

[notquitemissinnocent]

How did the goblet in the age line know who Fred and George where and how old they were? Like, does Dumbledore have a painting that sits and has to check all of them but nobody knows what painting it is so they can't cheat?

[anostalgicnerd]

This was one of the most baffling things of my whole childhood.

[chaoticnasty]

OHMYGOD I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS THIS 

[notquitemissinnocent]

Timehop has made me realize how lame I was 5 years ago.

[ghostlyteen]

i always wonder why no one likes me and then i remember i dont even like me

[notquitemissinnocent]

I'm just so tired. Constantly. I'm tired physically. I'm tired mentally. I'm tired of nothing going the way it was planned. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of the scars that keep adding, no matter how hard I try. I'm tired of hiding my dark secrets from the only one I know I can trust. I'm tired of not ever feeling good enough. I'm tired of feeling like a disapointment. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of forcing myself to keep going. I'm tired of life, of living. I'm just so tired.