NotReallyCRAZY

So many hilarious things happen to me that my life could be a comedy show. Share in these misadventures/mishaps with me as they unfold.

[notreallycrazy]

Goodbye...For Now

It is with a heavy heart that I have to say goodbye...for now.

You see, I am currently working on a project that demands ALL of my time.  As a result, I am unable to devote the time and effort needed to create these entertaining posts for you.  I was trying to balance the two but it just was not possible.

I really enjoyed our time together; your comments and feedback made it all worthwhile.

Until we meet again.

NotReallyCrazy

[notreallycrazy]

Cereal Girl

I remember that morning like it was yesterday.

I was hustling to get dressed for work, and having a bowl of cereal for breakfast at the same time.

I placed the bowl on the bed and went into the kitchen to pack my lunch.

I came back, sat on the bed and continued getting dressed.  I didn't notice it at first, but as the seconds passed my skirt began to feel cold and wet.  

OH NO! I could not believe that I was sitting in the bowl of cereal.  If that wasn't bad enough, the bowl had tilted over and the contents had spilled on the bed.  

Wait, there's more.  As I stood up, milk ran down unto the floor.  I had to change my clothes and clean up the mess.

What a fun way to start the day, especially when time is not on your side.

[notreallycrazy]

Bird Attack

I had to leave home and was " fixing my face" with my mind a million miles away.

I was quickly brought back to reality when I heard a strange noise behind me getting louder and louder with every second that passed.  I turned around slowly to see a bird coming straight at me, flying at supersonic speed.

My life flashed before my eyes as I recalled how hysterical birds are when they cannot get out of a room.  All I could do was scream at the top of my lungs in terror.  At the loud sound of my voice the bird turned around and flew out of the bedroom.

I breathed many sighs of relief and hurriedly returned to my unfinished task.  I didn't have much time to spare and I didn't want to miss the bus.

[notreallycrazy]

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling Off My Bed

So apparently while I am dreaming the night away, my body gets in motion. I usually wake up when I am halfway off my double bed and I am able to stop myself from hitting the floor.

This particular morning I wasn't so lucky - my reflexes seemed to have been on slow speed.  So I could do nothing as I felt myself roll completely off the bed, rotate in mid-air (like a gymnast) and land on my side with a resounding crash into the small space between the wardrobe and the bed.

I felt the room shake and my mum shouted 'are you okay?'  After the shock wore off, I felt a burning sensation and investigated to find a long scratch on my body.  I recalled that as I fell, I slid down the corner of the wardrobe.

Let's just say I have started sleeping in the middle of the bed instead of at the end.  It felt a bit strange at first but I'll get used to it in time.

[notreallycrazy]

Drip, Drip, DRIPPPPPP

I don't know what triggered it but I could feel it coming on.  First there was the nasal drip, then the parched throat.  Next is the dry cough if left untreated.

The runny nose always shows up but that means recovery is close by.  And throughout it all is the nasal congestion and the awful headaches.

My three close friends during this time are Octrivin (for the nasal drip), Histal (to fight the allergy) and Chloraseptic (for throat relief).

I've always heard of sinusitis but I never knew how horrible it was until I started suffering from it in my 20's.  So when you hear someone complaining about their sinus allergies don't brush it off like I used to.

I know first hand all the suffering they are going through. 

[notreallycrazy]

Breakfast Blast

It was time for breakfast and I went to pour myself a glass of juice to enjoy with my toast.  

Even though the bottle looked puffed out and felt hard I shrugged off these warning signs because

I had just bought it

The bottle was still sealed 

 It had not expired

I shook the bottle and froth began to escape from the sealed cap.  I decided to go outside to avoid any accidents. I opened the bottle and the froth flowed out freely. I gave myself a pat on the back because I would not have to clean up that mess.

Feeling that the worst was over I returned indoors, shook the bottle to mix the contents properly and opened it.  

BIG MISTAKE!!!!!

Drink flew all over the place; it happened so fast that I did not have time to react. It looked something like this:

Juice was now on the curtain, the cupboard, the fridge, the floor and ME.

The bottle was now empty so I couldn't return it for an exchange or a refund.  All I could do AFTER cleaning up that huge mess was eat my cold toast...WITHOUT the glass of juice.

[notreallycrazy]

Bicep Scrub

Never had I imagined that I would get exfoliated in a ZR.  

But one morning on my way to work; this guy slammed himself down in the seat next to me and proceeded to rake his bag (which has the texture of sandpaper) up and down my exposed bicep while he settled himself and got comfortable.

After I recovered from the initial shock; I'm far from pleased and I move around as far as possible from him and gingerly nurse my sore arm.

Some people have no consideration for others.  I'm convinced that he should quit his job and go work at a spa; on second thought, I don't think he would be a hit with the customers.

[notreallycrazy]

Move, Get Out the Way!

I was feeling thirsty; so I went into the kitchen to get something to drink from the fridge.  

The kitchen light was off and as I took my next step I felt soemthing strange and soft under my foot.  

It did not feel like the kitchen floor.  

Of course I jumped back, SCREAMED and turned on the light.

There staring up at me angrily was a semi-crushed white lizard.  

Well I stared back at him just as angrily because he only dirtied up my foot. 

STUPSE!!

[notreallycrazy]

Oh me, Oh eye

Woke up this morning with one of my eyes feeling scratchy.  

No problem right? Just wash it out with some water right? Wrong and wrong again.

Tried that and still no improvement.  I look in the mirror trying to find the source of my discomfort but I don't have any luck with that either.  I think one of my eyelashes has gone under my eyelid where I can't possible reach it. 

All the while my eye keeps getting redder and redder.  I know I shouldn't rub my eye but I can't help myself, I'm desperate for any relief.  To make things worse my eye begins to run water.  I now look like I have a bad case of red eye. The thing is, I have two meetings today (with persons I'll be meeting for the first time).

 I had no choice but to hide behind my sunglasses whenever possible and to ignore the stares and questioning looks.

At the salon my hairdresser voiced her concern because the eye was now swollen.  I know that I look a mess but there is nothing that I can do about it.

I breathed a sigh of relief when my eye started to feel better around 6pm.   It really was a horrible experience that I wished had been over much sooner.

[notreallycrazy]

Splitter Splatter

I finally get out of bed and the rush is on (don't you dare say as usual).  I have to cook this morning and time is not on my side.  

Today's menu is penne pasta, shrimp and italian sauce (sprinkled with parmesian cheese) and everything is going well until I try to open the bottle of sauce.

The bottle cover refuses to turn.  I use a kitchen towel to improve my grip but still no luck.  I'm there fighting with the cover as time races by but I am determined to win this battle.  

I change my angle and summon all of my strength and with a loud pop the cover comes off.  My victory is short lived because a 1/4 of the bottle's contents spouts out of the bottle and splatters unto my bath towel and the kitchen floor.

You know what comes next, yep clean up time, time that I didn't have. 

I had to increase my speed to triple time to compensate for this unforeseen issue.  I had to miss breakfast as a result of all of the 'excitement' to ensure that I would not be late for work.

Rest assured that I drank a hot beverage to pacify my empty stomach when I arrived at work that morning.

At least my lunch was very delicious; I enjoyed every bite.

[notreallycrazy]

Dumped Part 2

As I went to the sink to wash my lunch container I noticed that something was missing.

Where was my salad container?  I know I hadn't left it on the table and as I mentally retraced my steps I remembered that I had just emptied the food scraps into the garbage in the lunch room.

Apparently I had also tossed my salad container in there.  Well since it was on the top of the pile I quickly retrieved it, sanitised it and washed it.

I'm glad that I was able to act quickly before somebody else dumped their garbage on top of it because then I would have had to replace it.

[notreallycrazy]

Dumped (Part 1)

I had just finished eating my lunch and it was time for my after-lunch bathroom routine; which included applying my brand new Victoria Secrets Lip Gloss.

I brushed my teeth, administered my eye drops and reapplied my lip gloss.  

I tossed the tissue into the garbage only to realise that the lip gloss had been in the same hand and was now also in the garbage can.

I stood staring at the garbage can with a forlorn expression on my face.  I knew that I could not retrieve my property because the tube was now lost among all the other used tissue.

So I bid it farewell and reflected on our brief time together since I had recently bought it.  It's a good thing that I had purchased two of them and at a ridiculous sale price.

[notreallycrazy]

Cut N Splinter

So I decide to de-fuzz my new towel using a razor.  

I am making good progress when all of a sudden I slash my fingernail across the nail bed and the blood starts flowing.

I scream loudly; more so from the gruesome sight before me than from any pain. I abandon the project in anger and treat my injury.

Wait...there's more.  

Would you believe that as I was picking up my clothes from where I had sorted them on the floor to wash them, a splinter ends up under my fingernail and in the nail bed on the other hand?  

What are the odds?  I know that the cut finger will heal eventually but how am I going to get that splinter from out of my nail bed?

When I could stomach it; I trimmed the slashed nail to prevent it from hooking into anything and tearing.  And I applied heated candle grease to the splinter.

So here I am in pain and looking ridiculous with a bandaged finger on one hand and a plastered finger on the other.

Eventually everything was back to normal and my fingers were more than happy to be free from their 'holding cells'.  I haven't used this de-fuzz method since this incident, I don't plan to any-time soon either.

[notreallycrazy]

Luxurious Lacquer

I certainly never thought that a coat of nail polish would make me feel like a million dollars.

But that is exactly what happened after I painted my nails with  Limited Edition Cult Nails Nail Laquer in Annalicious which sells for US$12 online  (http://shop.cultnails.com). 

Lucky for me I had won it as part of the prize for being the most active member on the Lip Factory Inc Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/LipFactoryInc).

The colour is gorgeous,  I only had to apply one coat for a rich finish and each stroke of the brush just blended perfectly with the next.  I was very impressed with the result and I could not stop staring at my toes.  I was floating on cloud 9, 10 and 11. 

You can really appreciate a quality product when it outperforms the knock-offs.  I wish more expensive products gave a wow effect like this.

[notreallycrazy]

Going Chiro

As a result of the injury detailed in  http://notreallycrazy.tumblr.com/post/42384700113/and-stretch-and-ouch , two friends of mine suggested that I visit their Chiropractor to get my neck and shoulder injury checked.

I was very nervous about going but I had to find out how serious the injury was.  So I put on my brave face and I went to the Chiropractor. 

I made sure to empty my bladder before going into treatment room to avoid any accidents since I was so jittery.

I was given a backless gown to wear and I was told to keep my bra and pants on, that was a relief LOL.

It was interesting, strange and mildly terrifying to hear the sound of my bones cracking, to have my neck placed in those positions and to have my spine manipulated in that manner.  

The Doctor was very no-nonsense and businesslike and as he did his thing I started to relax.  I'm not saying it was a day at the spa but it wasn't the horror chamber that I had imagined.  

It was a process; and every time he adjusted my spine I felt as though all energy and life had left my body but there was never any pain.  'Up' he would demand and I would struggle to rise off the bed and stumble to the wall for him to evaluate the progress of the treatment.

The diagnosis was sprained neck muscle and associated vertebrae and he advised that me to ice the area twice a day for 20 minutes until the pain goes away.

Imagine that all of this drama resulting from an early morning stretch.  I'm so traumatized that I have not stretched like that since then.  I'm keeping it simple for now.

[notreallycrazy]

And Stretch, and OUCH!

I never saw this one coming, I didn't have even the slightest hint.

I had crawled into my bed from 6pm the previous evening and slept right through until my alarm awoke me at 4:45am the next day.

What can I say?  I was feeling extremely worn out and was having what I affectionately call a 'zombie moment'.

I was feeling refreshed and decided to have a long stretch.  My hands were stretched to their full length above my head and I was leaning backwards with my face turned towards the ceiling. 

All of a sudden I felt something in the back of my neck move and I felt it crack,  my left shoulder was then in instant pain.  I could not believe it.  Thoughts of paralysis, ambulances and emergency rooms flashed through my mind.  Everything happened in a matter of seconds but I watched everything unfold in slow motion. 

All I could do was drag myself straight back to bed and lay on my right side until the pain eased up.  When I found the strength to move I iced the area.

I could not lift my left hand nor could I turn my neck to the left side nor could I lay down on my left side.  I obviously had to absent myself from work that day.  As the day passed I felt a little better and I decided to monitor the issue to determine how serious the injury was.

Not only was I distraught about the pain and my semi-invalid status, I was upset that I had to miss the ham cutters and fish cakes that were on sale at the Christmas Expo that day at work.  My colleagues would testify that I had been speaking of little else for the last few days. 

Of course I would have checked out the stalls and the entertainment but I agree with Carmeta Frasier who said 'food first'.

[notreallycrazy]

I've Got It Under Contr...

I was pampering myself with my routine Sunday Mini-Pedicure and Mini-Manicure.

I was removing the nail polish and I had the open bottle of nail polish remover propped against my thigh.

A thought crossed my mind to replace the cork on the bottle but I ignored it thinking that i had everything under control.

Before I could complete that thought the bottle had fallen over and the nail polish remover was pouring out onto the mattress and the floor.

All I could do was close my eyes and shake my head.  I was not pleased that my pampering had been interrupted plus I now had a mess to clean up.