Peter trying to open up to the Batfamily while hiding that he is Spider-Man by saying increasingly incriminating shit like:
______
“I mean,” Peter said with a shrug, “I used to sell pictures of myself for money. Maybe I should do it again.”
Tim nearly choked on his drink.
Steph blinked. “...What kind of pictures?”
Peter snorted. “The kind people paid stupid amounts for if I got caught in the middle of things.”
Duke’s eyes widened in horror.
Peter kept going, blissfully unaware.
“I mean, it wasn’t THAT bad. My... uh... sponsor made sure I was taken care of.”
Tim stared. “Your… sponsor.”
“Yeah,” Peter said casually. “Found me when I was fourteen.”
Dick’s voice exploded through the still-active phone call Tim had forgotten to hang up.
“WHAT.”
“Honestly, he kinda ghosted me after he was done with me though.”
Steph made a strangled noise somewhere between sympathy and fury.
Duke looked physically ill.
“To be fair,” Peter continued, “I DID crash his—”
He stopped.
“...Uh. I mean, I was involved in a plane crash. Uh. His plane.” Peter rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “He felt bad afterward and offered me a deal which i turned down?”
“What kind of deal?” Duke whispered.
Peter froze for a second too long before replying, “...An internship?”
Nobody believed him.
Not even remotely.
“After he died I spiraled a little,” Peter continued quietly. “Trusted the wrong guy.”
Tim’s stomach dropped.
Peter rubbed at his face tiredly.
“And then he uploaded a video of me to the internet.”
Jason’s voice immediately cut through Dick’s phone speaker, where he had been listening in on.
“HE WHAT?”
Steph slapped both hands over her mouth.
Duke looked ready to commit murder.
Tim had gone eerily still in the way Bruce usually did.
Peter noticed the silence and finally started looking uncertain.
Determining he should probably just finish the story, he continued, “I tried to fix it, but I screwed everything up and lost everyone.”
The room fell into horrified silence.
Peter looked around. Realized far too late that he had completely obliterated the mood. And promptly panicked.
“ANYWAY,” he announced way too loudly, “I’m broke again. Maybe I should start selling pics again, hahaha—”
“ABSOLUTELY NOT,” Duke said instantly.
“No,” Tim agreed immediately.
Somewhere on the other end of the line, Dick had gone suspiciously quiet with a darkened expression over his face that spelt trouble for the people that hurt his family, and Jason didn't feel like stopping him anytime soon.
And Peter....
Well, let's just say, maybe it might have been better for him if they found out he was Spider-Man.
