[nookisms]

Person in my gas station talking to someone on the phone: ...We're in Ohio...

Me, knowing we're in Utah: ????

[nookisms]

[paddysnuffles]

Thank you for the map for context. It makes this 1,000 times funnier and intriguing.

[byjove]

me: why are the pillows always so fucked up

my cat:

[thillius]

This looks like a painting with like the composition and lighting

[chloematis]

And now it is :)

[what-even-is-thiss]

Doctor who villains:

The free WiFi that kills you

Monster that eats feelings

The actual devil

Dinosaurs

Suddenly a forest

Weight loss drug that’s actually an egg

The moon

Big traffic jam

The earbuds that turn you into a robot

Giant spiders

[pleasantearthquakemoon]

I actually remember all of these. If not, I would have assumed this was a shitpost

[what-even-is-thiss]

These are just from new who as well. I didn’t even get into classic who and such iconic villains as bioengineered rats from space and the vampires that can be repelled if you believe in communism hard enough

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah the Christmas trees that kill you we’ve all seen them

[fanby-fckry]

[ID: a tumblr tag which reads: #don’t forget the christmas tree of death // End ID]

[grownupchangeling]

I only know of the Adipo. Tell me more about the vampires

[what-even-is-thiss]

I think it was a seventh doctor thing or something? I dunno. They were aliens that were basically vampires and you repel them if you focus on your true belief in something. Basically trying to explain why vampires get repelled by crosses I guess. One of the minor characters in that episode was a Russian Soviet military guy who focused on his belief in the communist party to repel them.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Doctor Who is simultaneously an “everything can be explained by science” show and an “a wizard did it” show so you have a main character who is an atheist that has met the devil and seen proof of the existence of the afterlife and the separation between the mind and body who brandishes a magic wand and meets Scrooge from a Christmas story but in space

[dogposts]

Your local gym buddy ready to spot you! (via)

[maulthots]

imagine the supernatural season one aesthetic if they were boppin around in a prius

[maulthots]

john winchester looks at the coat of dirt on the prius. “dean, i wouldn’t have given you this car if you weren’t going to take care of it.” “dad, everyone knows you buy a prius for the fuel efficiency, not for the appearance.” “you’re right, son, my bad. carry on.”

[maulthots]

in the pilot episode, the woman in white takes control of the prius on the bridge but then she realizes she’s in a prius so she softly whispers “this is bullshit. i can never go home.”

[maulthots]

sam says “we’ve got work to do” and then steps back so he can close the hatchback

[maulthots]

because their lives are so stressful, they choose the soothing sea glass pearl color. who wants to worry about visible clear coat scratches when you’ve got monsters to kill

[maulthots]

a semi hits the prius during the season 1 finale but, due to its five star side crash safety rating, dean winchester never enters a coma. season 2 is fundamentally altered.

[tnerdbean]

[emilysidhe]

I don’t even go here, but please tell me more about plot problems that could be solved if they were driving a road safe, fuel efficient, cheaply maintained car.

[dykeselfcest]

everything requires so much maintenance forever. can we do something about the law of entropy

[just-sans-things]

my cherios spelled out my exact address this morning but like what the gudge ever i gobbled those honey nut freaks up and licked the bowl too

[just-sans-things]

someone contact my fucking lawyers

[nerdreamer]

[theonion]

A new global report released Monday by the U.S. Geological Survey revealed that every place on earth currently has the wrong amount of water. “New satellite data confirms that every corner of the earth has the incorrect quantity of water,” the report read in part, noting that even though the total amount of water on the planet seemed to be about right, give or take a few hundred milliliters, the distribution of that water across the globe was “way off.”

Full Story

[neatlymanifolded]

Finally, I knew the Onion would figure out how to violate the intermediate value theorem. It's about time!

[nariiminus]

[killowave]

[supremeshogunrj]

The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is

[libraryogre]

Which will fade first? Memories of the Area 51 "raid", or memories of Internet Explorer?

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

Oh my god....

[cosmotellurias]

just saw someone describe Percy as "emergency contact of the gods" and if that isn't the truest thing ever 😭😭

[foxglovedforest]

The kids are aight

[catchinghammers]

#those workers are not being paid enough to enforce this and it was a slightly funnier day at work

[largishcat]

[trxy-land]

Work pro tip 📢📢

I will have this as a print at SMASH next week!

[alternis]

saw a post letting people know that your ao3 bookmarks are viewable on your account unless you make them private, which suggests that the median ao3 user does not use ao3 in what i will call 'the optimum fic-finding treadmill' where you find a fic author you like and look through their bookmarks to find more fics that are good and then look through that author's bookmarks for even more good fics. like a conga line of great but extremely specific tastes. or one of those chessboard rice doubling analogies and oh no that is a LOT of ao3 tabs.

[kropotkindersurprise]

We salute an absolute icon 🫡

[gaylor-moon]

[captain-price-unofficially]

[ladyofspoons]

this blog supports punching fascists

[drmajalis]

Matt Frank (@mattzilla85.bsky.social)

[contains quote post or other embedded content]

[notthegrouch]

This is so important though: "You're gonna get in trouble for that" reveals so much. He was planning on nobody doing anything, not because nobody stands up to him, or nobody objecting to what he says. He expects good people to be goody-two-shoes rules followers, and he expects the rules to protect him no matter what he does.

Important lesson to learn from this standing up to fascists means getting into good trouble. Get into trouble if it's worth it. Fascists will never expect it.