Penis

Goob - They/Them - I miss my wife tails, I miss her a lot - I post art on my Instagram sometimes, @gooberts_art

[lokh1]

‘how would other people describe you’ why would i know this

[glowcowboy]

“it’s not that deep” it’s not that shallow. now what

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[raccoonmilf]

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)

[raccoonmilf]

For context, when I used to live alone I would do something called “Princess Time” where I would do an initial sweep (to remove any significant hazards) and then I would release a raccoon into the living area and clean. This helped because I would 1) feel like a princess and 2) the raccoon would bring attention to things my ADHD brain had decided to ignore and I’d quickly clean that stuff up.

So like, if I’m expected to clean the house now, I will be doing it in the way that is most effective for me. And anything that has not been cleaned up after months of having sit-down talks and sending reminders and being promised things will change, might be deemed “trash” by the trash panda and thrown away.

[raccoonmilf]

We haven’t done since we moved into the house, because I didn’t want to cause my roommate or their cats destress or have their things destroyed by a raccoon

[raccoonmilf]

I am a raccoon biologist and one of the few people in the state allowed to take in captive bred raccoons that had been possessed illegally. The raccoon in the photos is Moonshine, but she is currently at the animal sanctuary where I work as I had been quarantining multiple new intakes from an abuse case. I still have two males (Rum Tum Tugger and Electra) left in my home enclosure as we are getting them neutered and then hopefully sending them to an AZA accredited zoo.

I wanna make things very clear that underneath all the whimsy, I am a trained professional.

[raccoonmilf]

Those vibes are likely because I’m the original creator of Dashcon and my personality has not changed since 2012 lmao

[fipindustries]

[anxietyproblem]

[dogpuppy]

[cuppydogshane]

podracer Sebulba notably absent from swift-kelce wedding attendees............

[deslizada]

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

[the-quasar-hero]

“Rappers only talk about their money, cars, and clothes!”

Why might someone from a group of people that historically have been denied access to wealth, now brag that they have it?

“Rappers only talk about sex!”

Why might someone from a group that have historically been denied sexual autonomy now brag about their sexual escapades on their own terms?

“Rappers only talk about drugs and crime!”

Why might someone from a group that historically have been denied the more legal means to acquire wealth and had drugs forced on their community talk about their experiences with it?

[twilightzoneresident]

Meanwhile, the critics jam to Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, and The Rolling Stones, who sing about money, sex, and drugs

[greekedtext]

"I've never heard of a rapper with a political consciousness!"

Why might someone from a group that historically have been oppressed have trouble getting their more serious pieces on the commercial radio stations / audio platforms that you listen to?

[blckgirlacid]

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

[modmad]

I misread this as 'I need my weird al time' and honestly both are true

[griffonatrix]

many of you

[bucketofcrows]

first base is ripping each other's throats out second base is fucking and then pretending it didn't happen after it's over. third base is falling unconscious from blood loss in the other's arms

[bucketofcrows]

fourth base is talking about your feelings

[lokaror]

skrillex's "bangarang" used to play

[orcboxer]

what now?

[lokaror]

Silence unending, interurrpted occasionally by flo ridas "cant believe it"

[bardjulus]

guys this bedtime story is really scary can you tell me a different one

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

if hello kitty was real we would be bestfriends

[dadgirlwalking]

me n u or u n hello kitty ?

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

me and you

[segamascott]

[treecitysessions]

I’m deeply nostalgic for the mid 2010s but not in the way many others seem to be… They’ll be on TikTok like remember when we were all listening to The Chainsmokers and watching Jake Paul… actually girl I don’t

[greek-orthodox-priest]

the traps are not working...

[greek-orthodox-priest]

the catholics are still getting into my trash cans.