When I was five years old, my aunt gave me a cat. The most gorgeous lilac point Siamese I've ever seen. There had been other pets in the house before her, but I was too young to remember them and they weren't mine. This cat was the first pet that was mine.
I was a reckless child. I was not as gentle with her as I should have been, but I was an excited little kid. I played with her too rough, I hauled her around in my arms, I shoved her into doll clothes. I probably hurt her without even knowing. Despite all that, she wasn't scared of me. She was the most patient cat I've ever known.
We grew up together. I learned to be gentle with her. She loved any toy with feathers and used to steal my feathered dress up scarves. She'd lay on my chest while I watched movies. She always showed up when I was cooking frozen pizza because I'd give her tiny pieces of the frozen cheese. She'd sit with me when I cried, put a paw on my arm and meow softly as if saying "I'm here."
She was very social and would always hang out in the room when company was over, sitting next to whoever would pet her. She'd sit on the porch and doze in the sun.
I used to worry, because of how our ages lined up, that she'd pass away while I was away at college and I wouldn't be there for her.
When I was seventeen, she looked ill. We took her to the vet. Less than a week later I said goodbye to my best friend.
It was kidney failure, very common in cats. I spent her last night staying up with her, sitting by her side. She died early in the morning, with her paw in my hand. It was the first time I had experienced the loss of a life.
Six years ago today, my beautiful, sweet girl, crossed the rainbow bridge. A few weeks before her fourteenth birthday.
A lot of difficult things have happened since then. My life has not played out how I expected, I could have used her comfort.
I do not get along with the aunt who gave her to me, she's a toxic family member I've cut ties with. But I will forever be grateful for that sickly little kitten she sent me over a plane from the US, where she lived at the time. That sweet girl got me through so much, and even though she's been gone for years now, I'd like to think her spirit is still watching over me, somewhere across the rainbow bridge.
If you've ever lost a pet, just know you're not alone in your sadness. And your furry friend is always with you in the paw prints they left on your heart.
