i crave death and bagels

i'd appreciate it if you gave me bagels first before the death

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i really walked into the farmer's market cheese section and asked the cheese woman for "Munchausen's cheese". Why. Why would I do that.

[oathmealcoccies]

imagine if they gave you expired cheese

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

cooking show but the judge is just a random kid with autism related food issues. no one can figure out what criteria they use to judge "good food" from "bad food" least of all the judge themself.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

starts off as a cooking show and devolves into a heartfelt comedy of errors as all these professional top chefs use their decades of training & skill to try to help this one kid eat a balanced diet

[oathmealcoccies]

the show reaches its finale but the chefs check in on the kid from time to time to make sure he’s alright and adjust their diet as they grow up

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

what’s the opposite of “i ship it”? i don’t mean anti-shipping i mean more along the lines of “this couple got together in canon and i want front rows seats to their future bloody bloody divorce“

[makirolling]

i split it

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#i homewreck it

[killjoyordietryin]

why on earth would it not be shipwreck

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you are CORRECT and i am incredibly embarrassed rn

[oathmealcoccies]

they better get their lifeboats ready cuz I’ve got an iceberg right here ready to plunge them into the depths of the sea kinda deal

[writing-prompt-s]

Your task from the client was simple; Kill the target and take care of the kid too. It’s been ten years since then, and you’ve just realized you may have misunderstood “take care of kid too.”

[oathmealcoccies]

not-so-accidental baby acquisition

[oathmealcoccies]

playing sims, had one of my sims woohoo with her wife, all I can say is she’s not gonna live any longer since my sim was thinking about knives as they got on the bed

[whattheplot]

Three months ago I pitched an idea for a party game. Today, ‘WHAT THE PLOT?!™’ is a real game and available for pre-order! I am so excited. Thank you everyone for your support!

[whattheplot]

Click on a picture for higher quality! Tumblr compresses pictures so they might look a bit blurry!

[whattheplot]

What The Plot?!™ is now available for pre-order on planet Earth until January 1st! Definitely check it out; it’s pretty-ducking-epic thanks to your feedback and input!

https://creators.teespring.com/what-the-plot

[johnnyishereforever]

omg they actually did it!!

[cyhyryth-deactivated20210905]

guys ive been waiting for this. If I get it will you guys play? @folklorefairyqueen @moonxchaos

[folklorefairyqueen]

YES OMG I WANNA PLAY THIS RIGHT NOW @cyhyryth

[moonfireroulette]

this by itself already makes me wanna play this game 😂😂😂

[whattheplot]

UPDATE: Friday 27, March, 2020

It’s a real game now! The manufacturer sent us 5 copies! The quality is amazing! Thank you all for making this game a reality! The games are currently being shipped from Poland to a fulfillment center in the US and the Czech Republic. If you preordered the game, you can expect to have it in your hands at the end of April (so far, the pandemic has not been impeding our schedule).

The print quality of the cards is superb. The photos don’t do it justice! The text is a bit blurry in the pictures, but it’s crystal clear!

If you want to get notified when the next pre-order round drops - click here!

[golemgold]

This actually looks so good! I will definitely be getting this!

[justamemeyboy]

@whattheplot are you ever gunna bring this back?

[whattheplot]

What The Plot?!™ is now available in our online store!

Get it here

[simplysolo]

finally ordered mine!! can’t wait to get my hands on it :>

[candlesandink]

i want this so bad.

[bixisarusher]

I have it - it’s fun! 10/10 would recommend.

[dyannehs]

I own it!  Super fun, 5 stars.  Buy it today!

[rheevalka]

@hufflepuffhuggles I WANT IT

[pansexualcupcake-deactivated202]

I can see why! I mean…this sounds like the most entertaining chaos i can imagine!

[misscrawfords]

I spontaneously just ordered this wtf

[buzz-buzz-bish]

@music2muse @alegitamentblogiswear I bought this for us! We have to play!

[imawitchybitch]

I’ve reblogged this like seven times already, but I got mine late last year and oh! My! God! It’s so wonderful; my friends and I love to get drunk/hug and play. The creative opportunities are endless

[pandas-cant-fly-ks]

I also got this game!! It’s super good!! Definitely recommend :)

[shippingallthetime]

I am definitely gonna get this!!!

[terminallycagey]

Bought it because it looked like a fun party game, and oh man was it ever, even if you’re a little nervous. 10 Stars!!!!!

[micistired]

i need this now

[ginathethundergoddess]

I Kickstarted this game and let me tell you it is a riot to play!

[whattheplot]

We are almost out of stock!

Get the game here while stock lasts!

[hellishseaqueen]

If you need any other reason to buy this: my family and i played this and we came up with the most awful, hilarious stories. Absolutely the best thing to play with friends or family

[oathmealcoccies]

I just opened up to someone important to me today and it just gave me the biggest realization I've had in my life

I'm loved

I am actually loved

It's such a foreign concept, it boggles my mind. It's a thought I never dared to even think about before

but oh my god, someone cares enough, gives a damn about me, actually loves me that they'd want me to be in their life

It's so weird, so insane, so fucking freeing and terrifying. There is an actual human being that loves me

Opening up, letting someone in is terrifying, but my god the risk, the terror, the anxiety was so worth the knowledge, the realization that being loved isn't as foreign a concept as I thought it'd be. This entire time it was within reach, literally right in front of me if I had just bothered to reach for it

I'm not okay, not yet but god just knowing that someone loves me is going to help me stand back up everytime life decides I should fall back into the murky depths of my thoughts.

I'm not okay but I will be

[writing-prompt-s]

The goddesses of the Greek pantheon have grown irritated with Zeus’s antics. They’ve decided to punish him by transforming him into a human woman for 100 years.

[oathmealcoccies]

...I really don’t think that will stop him at all, he’d prolly see it as a challenge

[oathmealcoccies]

so my cat (his name is Oreo) sleeps like he’s just been ran over by a car, and everytime I see him like that, I can’t help but say something like “oh no poor cat, can’t believe someone was heartless enough to run over this little kitty” like it’s just a random cat by the street simply because he, without fail, always lifts his head up and looks at me with the most offended expression and meows repeatedly until I give him apology pets

[oathmealcoccies]

Panic? At MY Disco?

It’s more likely than you think

[one-time-i-dreamt]

not a dream

y'all........................... GANDALF BATH DUCKIE

[oathmealcoccies]

you know it’s time to lay off the internet when the first thing that comes to mind is ‘oh god, i really don’t want to think about the fetish art that could come about from this once the right (?) people hear about this’ so goodnight people, i am going to collapse on my bed now

[yourartur]

Billie Eilish at Met Gala 2022, art by me

[peregyr]

little gift for my mom for Mother’s Day!

[wizardpotions]

Coffee and blue ink forest dragon <3

[thegreateyeofsauron]

had a dream nintendo released a new kirby game where he lives in a 13th century medieval peasant village located in some remote stretch of land between russia and finland and it was a very hardcore and historically accurate simulation of medieval life except for the fact you’re playing kirby.

[thegreateyeofsauron]

this could be just what nintendo needs to get back into the edutainment market. kirby historical life sims. move over “mario is missing”, because “kirby has dysentery”

[yourartur]

As it was 🥀✨

instagram

[catilinas]

had a dream that the cool new trend was to drink water but only while standing in doorways because that made the water “more liminal” which was a good thing for unclear reasons