Ninja Rick, What The Fuck!?

@obamasgaylasers

Skelepope most places | they/them transfem | soft-hearted misanthrope and pretentious slop enjoyer | 18+

261.7K posts

strawberry-crocodile

one of the "gender is fake" discoveries i made while transitioning is that, like, gendered cuts of shirts do SO MUCH to change a persons silhouette? like a goof 20% of the "biological difference between men and women" that people imagine is just shirt cut. its just clothing cut. its insane.

not many people know this but when talking about your multiple pronoun-using friend you build up a combo meter for every subsequent unique pronoun you use

i fucking love the cock carousel loop by the way it has some of the absolute funniest moments in the game back to back... it gets talked about less than the mr. evrart loop because you have to fail a pretty specific combination of checks to get it but the argument you have with rhetoric in it is hysterical

#tidus offering harry a beer at the end is so funny

(Xユーザーの俺正讀（アジェンド）さん: 「https://t.co/BhD0AaYtkJ」 / Xから)

turns out when you specifically seek out extremely pathetic and clumsy women to be your knights and maids they arent very good at being knights or maids

you think you’re so funny don’t you. GUARDS. OFF WITH H- no- no its okay dont cry guards its okay im sorry i raised my voice its okay no im not mad at you

giving increasingly loud sighs as I wait for my crush to ask "what's wrong?" so I can say I'm in a state of depression unless I can touch someone's boobs with no bra

I stop once I start getting short of breath

[Your crush, on the phone to someone unseen] Yeah I think she needs to be put down, her breathing-- yeah I know it can be a problem for her breed, but it's getting really bad.

I'M NOT A DOG??????

[clearly less interested now] Oh.

wait! au au

[walking over the distant horizon, towards the West]

AU AU!!! AU AU!!!!! 😭

notallmensheviks

My scorching hot take on Christopher Nolan Presents Homer's The Odyssey is Tom Holland having his mind blown while filming this, then going back to Marvel to and being all "Why did no one tell me that you can, like, have a finished script before you start filming and a cinematographer who has all the shots planned before filming instead of figuring it out in post, has anyone else heard about this?" is pretty funny

Visionary Director Christopher Nolan's controversial directing style of "telling actors what's happening in a scene when they're filming"

I need to stop jokingly calling people changing to be ‘normal’ as ‘detransitioning’ because I just said “did you see guy fieri detransitioned” to a friend who didn’t know about me doing that in a joke way

Fallout 3 power armor mechanic and his duplicitous twin brother who says the word "uncivilized" too much.

studentofetherium

okay yeah i'm on team webp now

why again do people not like webp? it's functionally jpg compression with transparency and stuff like paintdotnet works with them fine

Late adoption from image viewers and common apps/websites neglecting support for it kinda put it in limbo for a long time.

Years of the average end user running into "sorry I don't know what this file type is" really put its reputation in the dumpster.

louis theroux interviewing jigsaw: hi, i’m louis theroux with the bbc, british broadcasting company. is it alright if i call you john? great, it’s nice to meet you john. um, do you mind if i ask you a few questions? i’m just a little bit curious about what it is that you’re doing here. the mechanics of the device, but also i guess the logic behind it. i know that you claim that you’ve never killed anyone, but that feels like you’re leaning in on the literal definition too much, rather than the human aspect. do you get what i’m saying? because some people, you know, might say that putting people in deadly situations is still killing them. even if you do explain the circumstances. you only give them a small time frame, and what if they mishear the instructions? that doesn’t seem fair, does it? from where i’m standing, it sort of seems like your actions don’t match your words. so you can understand why people might be misconstrue your behaviour and label you a serial killer. and i’m not here to say that you are or aren’t, i just think there’s more proactive ways to get people to appreciate life. if i was really sad, i don’t think cutting off my arm would make me feel better. i’d be very upset. and it’s not something that i would ever do to you, especially since i see you as a friend now. so not only would i consider it unethical, but also it would really hurt my feelings if you did that to me.

Ok, so, bottom surgery recovery is going ~splendidly~ tbh, I’ve been off opioids basically all week, she’s healing well, she even looks pretty which at under the one-month mark is making me feel pretty optimistic. The only problems it’s giving me are that sometimes if I see something really gross it makes my body feel like it’s trying to suck itself inward from my vagina, like a black hole generated by the power of “ew ew ew,” and that healing is really tiring so I’m like…always sleepy. But tbh most of bottom surgery recovery has been peaceful, I’ve had a lot of time to do some self-reflection (which I hate, doing my own therapy as a patient suuuuuucks), BUT, I do have one funny story:

Right as I wake up there’s a nurse there who hustles over and says he’s glad he saw me wake up and tells me he’s giving me some pain meds and then he gives me IV Fentanyl and so I go from like “Ow ow ow ow awake awake awake” to “ooooooh fuck I’m floating on clouds made of rainbows” in like 6 seconds and so I was pretty out of it. The hospital had all the recently-post op patients all in one big-ass room, and they see patients for ALL sorts of surgeries, so I was next to an old guy who got his knee replaced on one side and some young 30-something dude with some kind of mechanism on his leg. So I asked him what happened since I was high as fuck and feeling kind as a result, and he said he broke his leg hiking off-trail when his leg went down a literal rabbit hole and snapped his shinbone. I say something like “damn dude that blowssssss” while giggling because I’m high as FUCK on actual fentanyl and he’s like “Yeah, for real, I’m feeling great right now though! What about you? What are you in here for?”

And I fully was not thinking like a person, I was thinking like a fentanyl-addled tgirl so I just go “Oh, haha, they cut my dick off!”

And he just kinda stops and is like “Hah-WAIT what? Why?” and I was trying to think of an acceptable answer to tell this cis guy because it’s dawning on me through my drug-induced haze that not everybody wants their penis gone and before I can think of a response two nurses just came up and…wheeled him away. Idk where to, and I don’t think he did either, because he kept looking back at me and frantically asking the nurses where they were taking him and I never gave him an adequate response so he probably thought he was gonna get that “Transgender for Everyone” shit before he was probably actually delivered to whoever his ride home was.

allpiesforourown

Me sending nudes: like what you see? ;)

Artist who's only fucking me for reference material: yeahhh 🥵🥵 would be even hotter if you moved closer to the light source and moved your head to a 3/4 view in the pic

chaumas-deactivated20240115

frustrating when you are talking about folklore as the narratives a particular culture tells itself about itself and then someone else is talking about folklore as a dnd monster manual

If I received a cursed VHS, I would simply hold some magnets to it or maybe microwave it for a bit.

I'm not reading that. Here's more magnet.

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