Arthur Pike is 9 years old when he really gets into his bugs and insects phase. And it's cute at first, Jackie buys him lots of picture books with bugs that they read together and Hayden is happy enough to trade the usual tiger time time at the zoo for more time where Arthur stares at the various big and small bugs crawling around behind the glass walls.
It's not until Jackie's cousin, in a well meaning gesture to support Athur, gifts him a tarantula. Which, well. He buys him the appropriate terrarium and hands Hayden a stack of pamphlets on how to take care of a tarrantula. Which is all well and good except for the fact that there is now a fucking enormous tarrantula in their home.
Arthur squeals with joy. Jackie and Hayden less so. Next to them on the couch, Ilya pulls his feet back from where they almost touched the newly unwrapped terrarium.
But it's fine. Hayden loves his son and wants him to be happy (although he did high-five Jackie after she pulled her Cousin to the side to tell him in a kind but very firm way to never ever gift them an animal again without consulting them). So, it's good. It's fine. Toby the Tarrantula happily lives withe the Pike family while Hayden manages to not completely freak out whenever goes into his son's bedroom. It's fine. It's good.
It very quickly turns very bad though on a sunny Saturday evening. The evening had started out well enough, with Shane and Ilya coming over for dinner while Jackie was out for dinner with her old college friends. There was a slight hitch when Hayden realised that he had promised the girls pancakes for dinner without checking the fridge. But even that problem was quickly resolved with Shane simply grabbing his car keys and announcing that "I'll get them, i'll be back in 10 minutes".
No, the very bad part started just after Shane had left the driveway, when Hayden bumped into the tarrarium which was currently staying in the living room while they got Arthur's bedroom painted. The thankfully still intact but unfortunately very empty terrarium.
"Rozanov, I'm gonna ask this once and you better be honest", Hayden said, focing himself to stay calm while his eyes were still locked on what should be Toby's home. "Did you take the fucking Spider out to fuck with me?"
Ilya just gave him an unimpressed stare. "It's a tarantula, Pike", he said drily. "And no, I did not take it out of the terrarium. Why?"
Hayden finally turned to look at Ilya. Ilya took over with staring at the terrarium in horror.
Shane finds both of them huddled together on kitchen stairs when he gets back 15 Minutes later with a carton of eggs and some blueberries in hand.
Hayden and Ilya both do a horrible impression of acting casual.
"Of course we are, Solnyshko", Ilya assures him, casually leaning against one of the kitchen cabinets. If it weren't for his shaking hands and the way he kept glancing at the terrarium every two seconds, he'd almost pull it of.
"Yeah man, all good", Hayden adds in a voice that sounds only slightly panicked.
"If you say so", Shane says, unconvinced. "Why are you both standing on chairs?"
Hayden and Ilya look at each other. Look at Shane. Turn to look at each other again.
Both of them turn back to Shane.
"Easier to keep an eye on the kids that way, you know", Hayden says. Ilya nods. "Direct view to garden", he adds. Hayden nodds.
"For sure", Shane agrees easily before turning to put the eggs into the fridge to hide his smile. Even if he didn't know them as well as he did, it wouldn't be difficult to figure out that they're lying. It's also not particulary difficult to figure out why they chose to stand on top of two chairs that allow them to look at the terrarium while also being as far away as possible (and, to be fair, still keep an eye on the kids playing outside in the garden).
Of course, it's also not that difficult to remember that Jackie dropped off Toby at the Vet before heading out to meet her friends. And it's just as easy to know that Jackie will definitely want picture proof of her husband and Ilya Rozanov furiously whispering at each other while standing on top of two chairs -
"Why don't you get down and look for him"
"You crawl around the ice all the time, probably advantage for you to find him"
- before he tells either of them the truth.
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