obsolete reality

Not active. Note that the point of this blog is that no one here know me in real life, this is a place for me to express freely. MBTI/depression/psychology/other things.

[obsoletelove-infp]

Me: I think life is gambling. It's a play of possibility, if you die you won't know if it gets better.

Friend: So that's possible for life to get worse too?

Me: Yes, exactly. I'm just saying as a person with that kind of experience... it's not the time yet.

[obsoletelove-infp]

My long distance bf: *sends a picture of his messy room*

Me: (threateningly) If you don't throw away the boxes I'm going to get creative when I come. Or I will hide in them like a cat.

[inkskinned]

im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:

videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.

and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.

this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.

there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.

there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.

for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.

i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.

here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."

eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.

we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.

"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"

thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.

it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.

an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.

and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."

[socialjusticeissue]

[oleander-teacup]

im gonna add to this!!

hi! if you dont know me you can call me delta and ive struggled with disordered eating since i was 11. im a wholeass adult now!

what initially was avoiding food because of trauma turned into an issue with my body because of social media and fitness culture! i entered middle school and was immediately surrounded by people who skipped meals so they could be skinny and people who worked out for hours because they said their thighs were too big, but heres the thing

they were all children.

we were all 12-13 year olds. think back to being 12 or 13. you felt grown up right? all of these 12 and 13 year olds think they are grown up and they are getting sucked down a rabbit hole it is going to take them years to escape from because we stopped calling it "pro-ana" and started calling it "fitness culture".

this is hurting children. children have died and will continue to die. we need to do better.

[obsoletelove-infp]

In retrospect, I like the fact that at some point I had to help my boyfriend and our male friend in a video game, because they had to help a female character choose a gift for her female crush.

[obsoletelove-infp]

ISTJ: Chatbot, do you know where Queen Elizabeth II is?

Chatbot: She is in Buckingham Palace.

ISTJ: That's incorrect.

INFP: Oh no you don't. I dare you...

ISTJ: She died.

Chatbot: That's only a rumour.

INFP: Denial is the first stage of grief.

[obsoletelove-infp]

Being otherwise-neurodivergent, it's funny when people try to describe neurotypicality as a disorder. Because first, it makes sense; but second, I don't relate.

I like the concept of neurodivergence, but I'd say neurotypicality doesn't exist. It was never actually typical, the majority or healthy or anything. The concept of neurodivergence is based on how everyone's brains are wired differently, and neurodivergent people (usually referring to those with autism, adhd and other neurodevelopmental disorders) are those that differs in larger degree. As much as neurodivergent people differs from one another, neurotypicals also differ (doesn't even feel right to say differ in a smaller degree).

(to prevent some possible attacks, I identify myself as otherwise-neurodivergent because I don't have any neurodevelopmental disorder, but I have experienced chronic depression and anxiety. In a broad definition I am neurodivergent too, but people like me are underrepresented in the neurodivergence community.)

[obsoletelove-infp]

Btw don't you guys think david from cyberpunk edgerunner is kinda similar to phos from houseki no kuni?

[obsoletelove-infp]

What if I'm the elephant in the room.

[obsoletelove-infp]

Lecture on attention: can't pay attention

Lecture on memory: can't remember anything

Lecture on depression: finally

[obsoletelove-infp]

Naive INFJ: I started talking to myself.

Seasoned INFP #1: Like talking aloud?

Naive INFJ: No, not like that, just inside my head.

Seasoned INFP #2: you've still got ways to go.

Naive INFJ: Oh and I heard about Illuminati recently

Seasoned INFP #1: That's why you started talking to yourself?

[obsoletelove-infp]

INFP: *escaping reality*

INTP: Same.

[obsoletelove-infp]

INFP: my psychology quiz is coming.

INTP: good luck, you'll need it.

INFP: thanks, I'll need it.

INTP: something on your mind?

INFP: psychology. Hopefully.

[obsoletelove-infp]

Is it bad that I want to burn fiercely and shortly?

[obsoletelove-infp]

Question for my soul:

How long have you been living? Why are you so tired like that?

[obsoletelove-infp]

Me: (is in the shower)

Thought: *pop*

Me: (getting out of shower)

Thought: *poof*

[obsoletelove-infp]

Everyone craves for a piece of cake secretly.

[taking-care-of-you]

Here's your daily reminders!

Drink your water!

Take your meds!

Have something to eat!

Have a couple minutes to yourself to think and breathe!

Please look after yourself!