I really do think life is a series of watching other people walk through doors you can't follow them through. I've been thinking about it lately when it comes to marriage---my sister got married recently, and my brother before her, and while the occasions were joyful and I was happy for both of them, it was also like standing in mission control. Or maybe not even that, maybe the 'friends & family' section of the tarmac, several miles from the launch pad entirely. Waving as this intrepid astronaut (the one you would have sworn you knew as well as you know yourself, because you share so much and it lingers in your skin) climbed into a shuttle, jetted off into the darkness.
And then, the person who came back was....different. Not bad different! (Sometimes they come back better, this is also decidedly strange.) Just....different. They have gone somewhere you can't follow, seen and experienced things you will never be privy to. They will go back to that dark, unknown and unknowable country again, once the holiday or other familial obligation is over. And so you spend some time talking to them, nodding and smiling on autopilot while you quietly wonder, did they do that before, and I just didn't notice? Is that new? I don't remember that. I can't remember if---
It's a very strange experience, to be confronted with the fact that people exist outside of you, even those who share 99.99% of your DNA.
