what am i doing here

i escaped tumblr in 2015 & now im back because i am a glutton for nonsense, i guess more importantly here is my dnd art sideblog

[foone]

Oat milk is made by milking goats and then putting the milk through a fine filter to extract all the "G"s

[monsterpotion]

I heard thats where they get the "G"s for cell phone service

[sevensixone]

[sunhatred-deactivated20220531]

Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?

Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:

“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”

[ardatli]

This is also the fantasy behind all those old bodice-ripper romances that people today like to mock or call problematic, by the way.

“Oh, my next forty years are going to consist of nothing but washing dishes and keeping house and bearing children for the disdainful man I married right out of high school because my parents said college was for men and I had no other obvious life path open to me? What if a pirate captain thought I was worth stealing away from it all? [what if I ran away but no-one could blame me for leaving]?”

[unclothed-i-shall-return]

#I read an article a long time ago about a woman who was raised in an incredibly repressive conservative christian community#where all that mattered was purity and virginity etc #She talked about how for a long time rape fantasies were the only way she could derive any pleasure from sex #because she couldn’t feel safe exploring the idea of wanting sex #it wasn’t really ABOUT rape or eroticizing assault or whatever #it was about creating a scenario where she was free from the shame associated with wanting #i think this is true of a lot of icky-seeming stuff in romance and erotica #it’s an imaginary scenario where nothing you don’t really want actually happens #but you can’t be blamed or feel guilty for it #you didn’t do anything wrong#anyway that article changed my perspective a lot #i think there’s also something to be said for people who have felt ugly and undesirable their whole lives #enjoying fictional scenarios where a hot alpha werewolf or whatever is so attracted to them he ‘cant help himself’ or whatever #because it can also be really shameful to want to be desired #when you feel like youre ugly and gross ( @headspace-hotel )

[utopians]

I love following people who post abt pro wrestling bc they'll share gifsets of two dudes just straight up having gay sex in the ring and then the camera pans out on a cheering crowd of like 500 people

[thegirlwiththemooglehat]

Yeah

[st-dionysus]

I'm gay son on my mother's side and thot daughter on my father's side.

[berrytart]

completely incomprehensible email from my mom. sent from my it's

[c-53]

[c-53]

[i-scan-your-poems]

Scansion:

◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – ◡ The no/ble ea/gle hunts / most cruelly. ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – ◡ If one / is not / the Hun/ter. But / the dodent.

Metrical form: The first line is iambic tetrameter hypercatalectic, the second is iambic pentameter hypercatalectic

[important-animal-images]

[segamascott]

[nimmieamee]

[windsweptinred]

by David Szauder

[draculagerard]

Fuck personality tests. Who comes to your mind when I say “Michael”

[dinchenix]

I have a second cross-stitch pattern for you! (Thanks for all your feedback on the first one!💜)

It's for my "The Memory Pinboard " artwork (128x128), adjusted to dmc thread colors. 🧡

Get it for free now on my ko-fi here: ko-fi.com/s/5895f479a9

[e-102]

[odyssins]

women and queer people in STEM (silliness, trickery, escapades, merrymaking)

[aiboumatsu]

WHAT

[thedogopera]

[rosieandthemoon]

handmade by Trovelore

[swampgallows]

[to the tune of the knack’s ‘my sharona’] m-m-my fursona 

[recycledmoviecostumes]

This green-striped “Chaperon” headdress was created for John Hurt as Franz in the 1972 film 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑷𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝑷𝒊𝒑𝒆𝒓.   It made another appearance not long after in 1975, worn by Neil Innes as Brave Sir Robin’s singing minstrel in 𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝑷𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑯𝒐𝒍𝒚 𝑮𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒍.   Let us know what you think! Drop us a comment at Bit.ly/Acces218