uhhhhh

I'm pretty chill and i like a bunch of stuff

[pangur-and-grim]

my house is scary at night

[storyweavingspider]

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

[so-many-ocs]

immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport

during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?

[komakesthings]

I've slowly been chipping away at drawing scenes from that imaginary Muppet retelling of the Princess Bride, figured it was about time to share what I've drawn on Tumblr!

[segamascott]

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

[existennialmemes]

Every Website right now: Give us a scan of your driver's license or be banished. It's for safety.

Every Website for the last 10 years: Oopsies we had another massive data breach! Tee-hee!

[finalgirlabigailhobbs]

“oh one time my—” (abruptly stops myself from saying the words “tumblr mutual” in public) “overseas colleague”

[byjove]

Tumblr is truly a prison. I’ll be like “I hate the way this website works. Broken filtering, broken search option, shitty moderating, glitches.” and then I’ll try to use any other social media platform and find it is somehow worse.

[garaks-padded-bra]

A BIRD POOPED ON MY HEAD ON THE WAY TO WORK.

[do-not-fold-spindle-or-mutilate]

HOW DO YOU KNOW THE BIRD WAS ON THE WAY TO WORK?

[garaks-padded-bra]

DONT MAKE ME ANGRIER THAN I AM

[stormsbourne]

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

[tibli]

tbf to the body, stomach bugs are easier to flush out since they are already in The System That Flushes Things Out From The Body, and that includes BOTH ends.

with a cold you gotta wait for the macrophages in your blood to start Eating Everything, and they are. not big. it takes them a while. please be more considerate of your macrophages in the future, theyre doing their best

[marlinspirkhall]

I've got to find myself more macrophage

[acesexualspock]

Now Hiring: macrophages

[daughter-of-sapph0]

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

[bisexualhunterbiden]

I need to remember that 90% of the people discussing politics on here are basically operating at this level of historical literacy.

[argumate]

love the genre of discourse that’s like “the world used to be [thing it never was] but now society is [I’m over thirty]”

[inphront]

evergreen post

[inber]

BUDDY you're a BOY you're a BIG BIG BOY you're a BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BOY you got mud on your face you BIG BIG BOY kicking your can all over the place singing WEE wee WEE wee WEE wee WEE wee

[theunsubtleknife]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[yesornopolls]

Joe Rogan compares Trump's ICE to Hitler's Gestapo: 'Is that what we've come to?'

Podcast host Joe Rogan noted that there were similarities between the Nazi Gestapo and President Donald Trump's use of Immigration and Custo

[basileater]

[jdragsky]

early 21st century americans were so modest that they would regularly censor their own feet in video and artistic depictions, and it was considered improper to expose your feet in public — dismissed with cries of "put those grippers away"

[jdragsky]

[phantomrose96]

Dealing with burnout is sooooooooooooooo easy all you need to do is operate at 40% indefinitely and be kind of mad at yourself the whole time.

[theweight]

*grasping at straws* My straws!