[joke pending]

• alex • demigirl • bi • 24 • they/her • this is a dumpster fire of a blog

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[depsidase]

[pinkegodeath]

we are witnessing the gentrification of the term "tumblr sexyman" in real time and it is extremely disappointing. like no, live-action white boy #265 played by ryan gosling isn't a tumblr sexyman. i can't believe i have to say this but if it wouldn't get you shoved into a locker it probably isn't a sexyman

[mlarayoukai]

my birthday is on the 29th of July ✌️ my PayPal and wishlist if someone wants to be nice to a broke as fuck trans guy

[mlarayoukai]

hi so my aunt (someone who brings us food) hasn't answered the phone in over a week. she's probably in Mexico but we really need extra help since we're still dealing with expenses that we have to pay off and we can't get ahold of her

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[escuerzoresucitado]

shooo

[mistbjorn]

[lakemojave]

[pomgore]

i love learning about animals ive literally never seen or heard of before. what amazing diversity of life on this planet earth. what the hell is a japanese serow

[pomgore]

goat dog

[dogpuppy]

[queercanelady]

how it is apparently

[frankenmouse]

It is so ridiculously easy to gain a reputation for being competent by just reading signs.

This is not metaphorical. I mean actual, literal pieces of paper/plastic/metal/whatever explicitly erected to inform the public.

“How did you know this was the right trail?” I read the sign.

“Wow, how did you know what that flower is?” There’s a SIGN.

“How did you know we needed to use the side door?” THERE IS A SIGN POSTED ON THE FRONT DOOR.

Just…why are we having such different experiences of the world? People can read. I KNOW they can read. There’s nothing wrong with their vision.

Just. READ. THE. GOD. DAMN. SIGN.

This also applies to:

Syllabi

Instructions

[jessaerys]

hate when im reading and theres a word i dont know so i search it in the dictionary and its like: beuperer. noun. a person who beupers. i'll fucking kill you

[charlesoberonn]

Or you get the 2-loop:

beuper. verb. "to form ponsilza"

ponsilza. noun. "the result of beupering"

[romanceyourdemons]

lmao i’m reading this essay from the 1580s that mentions how if you were wearing a big elizabethan ruff and you got caught in the rain it would flip up in the wind and hit you in the face, and then you’d have to spend the rest of the day with your stupid soggy ruff all flaccid on your shoulders. can you imagine. whole new potentials for pathetic unlocked

[toskarin]

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

[memorycycle]

try getting in your house now that i put a cilinder in front of it

[dwinkus]

peasant visionary: & then it stood before me, a towering wheel of flame that beheld me with 10,000 shimmering eyes!

me: idk man it still sounds like an ocular migraine

peasant visionary: #MyGrain