hi! i would love to request a fic where sister!reader is the one dealing with the lucifer hallucinations!!
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A/N:Â Sorry for the wait, hopefully this isnât too long for you I got carried awayÂ
Summary: You just returned from hell but now youâre dealing with hallucinations. Your brothers have to figure out how to convince you theyâre realÂ
Pairing: sister!reader x Sam and Dean WinchesterÂ
Word count: 7k (itâs a long one I know)
Warning:Â Mental torture, manipulation, brief mentions of SHÂ
Adjusting was harder than you expected. The cushions on Bobbyâs couch compared to the chains in the pit was a big change. It had been a week since Cas managed to pull you out of hell. The transition itself was rough, especially waking up in a gravesite. Physically you were fineâŠmentallyâŠnot so much.Â
Today marked the seventh day since you came back. You were on the couch, the boys had been sleeping on the floor. The sun crept through the curtains as you let out a content groan. You stretched a little and yawned, face still buried into the pillows. The warmth felt amazing, no loud noises, no pain. Everything felt goodâŠuntil it didnâtÂ
âWake up buttercupâ your eyes snapped open. You flew up and stared into the kitchen. There he was. The devil himself. He gave you a crooked smiled and waved, slowly wiggling his fingertipsÂ
âGood to see me isnât itâ he chuckled and strolled into the living room. You didnât respond you just watched him make his way towards the couch.Â
âWhat? No hello?â He frownedÂ
âYouâre not realâ you whispered Â
âMmm sorry princess, âfraid soâ he shrugged. You blinked waiting for him to disappear but he didnât.Â
âYou think you can get rid of me that easy sweetheart? Wheres the fun in thatâ he giggled and crouched down beside you. âYouâre stuck with meâ he smiled, stretching his hand out. âWanna make a secret handshake?âÂ
âY/n?â Your head snapped towards the direction of the sudden voice in the kitchen. You looked up and saw your brother, Sam, standing there with a worried look. He stared at you for a second before he walked closerÂ
âYea?â You answered, trying to pretend like everything was fineÂ
âYea, why?â You shook your head and forced a smileÂ
âI called you like three times, you were busy staring at that piece of lintâ he said, pointing at the carpet. There was a piece of lint on the carpet but a certain someone was blocking your view from it.Â
âAwww should I tell him weâre having a play date?âÂ
Heâs not real, heâs not realÂ
âHuh?â You exhaled and scratched your head. Sam took a pause before he continuedÂ
âAnyways, Iâm gonna go grab some breakfast, you wanna come?â He asked, you glanced back atâŠhim.. before you noddedÂ
âYea, yea Iâll come just give me five minutesâ you threw your cover off and headed into the bathroom. Sam went out to wait in the car with Dean while you got dressed. You quickly threw on a new shirt and started buttoning your jeans when you looked in the mirror and jumpedÂ
âYou son of a bitchâ you growled, he grinnedÂ
âI prefer the term sexy but whatever floats your boatâ he leaned up against the doorframe, making the wood creek. You took in another deep breath. No. No this isnât real. You werenât standing in the bathroom talking to the literal devil. You glanced over at him and he tilted his headÂ
âStill hereâ he smirkedÂ
âTemper, and no. Iâm not done with you yet silly, you were fun down there. What a screamerâ he chuckled, siting down on the toilet seat.Â
âThis isnât real, youâre still in the cageâ
âAm I? Or am I right here?â He let out a sinister laugh. âDoesnât matter, either way I still winâÂ
âNo you donâtâ your fists curled and your knuckles whitenedÂ
âHate to disagree with you honey but I always winâ you grabbed your brush off the counter and slammed it against the wall. He watched it bounce off the edge of the frame before it hit the ground with a thudÂ
âThis is gonna be funâ he grinnedÂ
You finished getting ready and started making your way to the car. You opened the backdoor and slipped insideÂ
âHey kiddo, you sleep ok?â Dean asked, glancing into the backseatÂ
âYea, yea I slept fineâ you lied, realistically you spent the whole night tossing and turning. He nodded and gave you a warm smile, heâd been so happy since you came back. He started the car and drove out of the yard. The rumble of the engine and the faint sound of the radio was a comfort. The seats felt familiar and so did the smell
âBooâ you jolted and let out a quiet gasp
âOop, sorry didnât mean to scary you bunk buddyâÂ
âY/n? You alright?â Sam asked, he was staring at you through the rear viewÂ
âYea sorry just uh- saw a bug on my shoeâyou liedÂ
âIn my car?!â Dean asked, you nervously chuckledÂ
âDonât worry itâs goneâÂ
âThat was a good oneâ Lucifer nodded âvery creativeâÂ
âShut upâ you whisperedÂ
âShe said shut up to meâ he held his hand to his heart and pursed his lips. You took in a deep breath and squeezed your hands together.Â
âSing sweet nightingale, sing sweet nightingaleâ he started practically screeching. You groaned and tried to plug your ears but it didnât do much.Â
âCan you turn the radio up?â You blurted, Dean raised his brow but noddedÂ
âSure thingâ thankfully he had been very pleased to do whatever you asked of him recently. He cranked the music up and Enter Sandman started blasting through the speakers. Lucifer whined and folded his arms together before he disappeared. You let out a sigh of relief and tried to enjoy the obnoxiously loud songÂ
âIâll do the pancakes and eggs with a side of pigâ Dean said with a wink, the waitress smiled and looked at you.Â
âYou know, I never understood humans. Imagine eating something soâŠvileâ Lucifer scrunched his nose up at the menuÂ
âHuh?â You looked over at Dean who was motioning for you to address the waitressÂ
âOh sorryâ you shook your head, your cheek flushedÂ
âNo worries, what can I get for youâ she gave you a welcoming smile and held up her pen.Â
âUh, just the single stackâ you saidÂ
âYea no, sheâll take the same as me, scrambledâ Dean corrected, the waitress chuckled and jotted it downÂ
âHush, youâve barely had anything for the last weekâÂ
âItâll be right outâ the waitress left and the boys attention went back to youÂ
âSo how you feeling?â Sam askedÂ
âWhy donât you tell him about last nightâ you clenched your jaw at the nagging voice beside youÂ
âBout how I weaseled my way all through that pretty head of-âÂ
âAHEMâ you cleared your throat loudly to try and block him out. He giggled and scooted closer to you. The boys were both siting on the other side of the booth. Unfortunately that meant your side was wide open for Lucifer
You spent the next ten minutes trying to drown him out while simultaneously listening to your brothers. When the food finally came you let out a sigh of relief.
âHere we goâ the waitress handed you each your plates and left you alone to eat. Sam unfolded your fork and handed it to you softly. You cut a piece of your pancake and went to take a bite. The taste was amazing, buttery and soft. Just how you liked it. You went to take another forkful when you almost choked on the first. Your plate was now suddenly covered in maggots. They were a sick yellowish color, fat, and slimy.Â
You coughed and covered your mouth, forcing your body to shallow. You heard a chilling cackle and watched Lucifer throw his head back with a smileÂ
âY/n? Whatâs wrong?â Dean asked, setting his fork downÂ
âNothingâ you mumbled, suddenly feeling ill. âIâm gonna- I gotta use the bathroom, be right backâ you quickly excused yourself ignoring your brothers questions. You stumbled towards the bathroom and locked the door. You looked up in the mirror and wiped your face. Your eyes had started to water and your nose was already turning pink. You quickly turned on the faucet and splashed some water on your face.Â
You grabbed a paper towel and held it against your eyes for a second. You dried your face off and looked back in the mirror before you let out a quiet yelpÂ
âWas that too much?â Lucifer asked, he was standing in the corner with his arms lazily crossed. You sniffled and turned around. He made a strange face, almost like a grimace before he stuck his finger in his ear and twisted it.Â
âOh- hold on lemmeâ he held his other hand up while he continued to twisted his finger. You practically puked when he slowly pulled out another maggot from his ear.Â
âHmpâ he muttered. âSorry about thatâ he âapologizedâ.Â
âEmbarrassingâ he said, flicking the worm across the floor. It landed near your feet making you jump. You turned around and slammed your hands against your earsÂ
âItâs not real, itâs not real, not real, not realâ you chantedÂ
âI donât know why you keep saying thatâ he sighed. âItâs really hurtful, I feel under appreciatedâÂ
âShould I call her?â Sam asked, Dean took another bite of his eggsÂ
âI donât know, sheâs been in there a helluva long timeâ he mumbled, mouth fullÂ
âIâm gonna call herâ Sam pulled his phone out and dialed your number.Â
You were on the verge of a panic attack when your phone range. You frantically fished it from your pocket and looked at the caller ID
You groaned and answeredÂ
âHey you ok in there? Youâve been gone for like ten minutesâÂ
Ten minutes?? You couldnât have been-. You glanced at the time
He was right. You left the table at 11:05 youâd been in the bathroom for nearly twenty.Â
âSorry, I got sidetracked I spilled the soap all over my shirt. Been trying to wash out the sudsâ you liedÂ
âOh alright, take your time just checking on youâÂ
âK, byeâ you hung up and glanced over at the soap.Â
âShe ok?â Dean askedÂ
âShe said she spilled soap on her shirtâ Sam said with a raised brow. Dean hummed and tilted his headÂ
âEh, sounds like something sheâd do, just give her a few more minutesâ he shruggedÂ
You sighed and grabbed the soap bottleÂ
You dumped it out on the bottom of your shirt, making sure to scrub it into the fabric. You put it under the sink and started to wash it back out. It only two a minute to clean off but the water stain and the smell would be enough proof. You left the bathroom and joined your brothers back at the table. They both gave you a look, like they were scared to ask you if you were ok again. Like you were a piece of glass
âIâm fineâ you sighed, they went back to eating and struck up another conversation.Â
âI donât think sheâs ready to get out there yetâÂ
âMe neither, we should take a couple more days offâ
âHeyâ you walked into the living room, interrupting your brothers conversationÂ
âHeyâ Sam smiled at you but you could tell you had just caught them discussing something secretiveÂ
âWhat are you talking about?â You asked, you strolled into the living room and sat down next to Dean.Â
âUhâŠâ Sam looked to Dean for backup before Dean cleared his throatÂ
âWe were thinking⊠we want you to take a few more days offâÂ
âJust a couple, make sure you got your sea legsâ Dean said softlyÂ
âDean Iâm fine, I wanna huntâÂ
âWe know you do kiddo, but youâre jumpy and exhausted. You need sleep and a few more days of lazing around wonât hurtâ Sam saidÂ
âNo, I said Iâm fine, besides thereâs already caseâ you motioned towards the table.Â
âWhat the spirit? We talked about that, Sammyâs gonna go out with Bobby and take care of itâ Dean said, he gently pat your kneeÂ
âWhy make Bobby go out on a case like this, you know he hates field work. Iâm fine, Iâm capable, letâs just goâÂ
âIâm with herâ your heart skipped a beat and your body immediately tensed. It took everything inside you not to flinch. Lucifer was siting directly beside Dean, his face was inches away from Deanâs ear. Your jaw clenched and you shallowed hard.Â
âWhat? Devil got your tongue?â He whisperedÂ
âY/n?â Dean cocked his head slightlyÂ
âHm?â You hummed but it came out more like a fragile whimperÂ
âYou alright?â He asked, wondering what your eyes were zoned in on.
âYea, I just remembered I left the tap on upstairsâ you quickly jumped off the couch and jogged to the staircase. You started skipping steps to make it up faster when you heard another pair of shoes behind you.Â
âWhere we going?â You cringed at the voice and kept moving. âOh cmon Y/n donât do that, weâre bunk buddies, pals, remember?â Lucifer whined, chasing you up the stairs. You finally reached the bedroom and slammed the door in his face. You stood there for a moment and took in a deep breath before you turned aroundÂ
âWhat did we talk aboutâ you jumped and pushed yourself against the door. Lucifer was siting on your bed with that same cruel smile he always had. He huffed and laid his elbows on his knees.Â
âYou know, this might be my best work yetâ he chirpedÂ
âMake you think you got out, let you off the hook for a few days, then pull you right back downâ he said, snapping his fingers togetherÂ
âWhat? You really thought you escaped? I told you Y/n thereâs no escaping me. Youâre still in the pit, still rolling around in the cage. I got my little finger wriggling around in that big brain of yoursâ he chuckledÂ
âAm I? Am I not real enough for you sweetheartâ he hummed. âOk, how about thisâ he snapped his fingers again and suddenly the entire room filled with bright orange flames. Your eyes went wide as the fire flew up from the floorboards. You jerked and tried to jump over the burning carpet but it followed you all the way to the other side of the room.Â
It was hot and filled your room with smoke in seconds. The flames crawled up to your shoes before they eventually caught fire. Your feet started to burn and blister, you yelped and tried to smack the fire out but it only burned your fingertips. You could hear his laughter increase as you pushed yourself into the corner of the room.Â
âReal enough for you now!â He shouted before the door busted open and the flames disappearedÂ
âY/N!â You froze. You glanced up and realized both of your brothers were standing in the doorway with their guns drawn.Â
âWhat the hell!â Dean yelledÂ
âWhen we call you answer! You open this damn door you hear me!â He shouted
âNo Sam she couldâve been getting killed for all we knowâ Dean snappedÂ
âIâm sorryâ you whimperedÂ
âSorry doesnât cut it Y/n, you scared the crap outta usâ he panted, shoving his gun back under his belt. He grabbed the doorknob and shook it. âThis door stays open. Understoodâ he barkedÂ
âYesâ you said quietly, Dean stared at you for a few more seconds before he stormed off. Your eyes immediately watered, you tried to cover them but it was useless. You sunk to the floor and curled your knees up to your chest. You heard the floor creak so you squeezed your eyes shut. You couldnât handle it again
âY/n?â That voice sounded familiar, you looked up, nose red, eyes puffy. Sam was crouched in front of you with a sad empathetic eyesÂ
âHeyâ he said softly, seeing your face stained with tears. He pulled you into his chest and cupped the back of your head. âItâs ok, Iâm sorry, he shouldnât have yelled like thatâ he apologizedÂ
âNo donât apologize itâs ok. Dean⊠heâs just worried about you ok? He thoughtâŠâ he trailed off âjust donât do that again ok?â
âOkâ you whispered, Sam held you for a couple of minutes before he addressed the obvious.Â
âNowâ he started, pulling you away gently. âWhat was that about?â He asked, you leaned up against the wall and sighedÂ
âY/n you were screamingâÂ
âY/n. Donât lie to me againâ he said sternly, you pausedÂ
âY/n?â Your heart stopped, there he was again, on the bed behind Sam. âCmon now donât be coyâÂ
âI umâŠâ you tried to articulate the situation. âIâm seeing thingsâÂ
âWhat do you mean seeing things?â Sam questioned, he sat down on the floor fully.Â
âThings that arenât real, things from hellâ Sam paused for a second before he noddedÂ
âWhat kind of things?â He probedÂ
âThis morning it was maggotsâ you confessedÂ
âMaggots?â Samâs brows furrowedÂ
âYea, in my food. Thatâs why I took off to the bathroomâ
âOh sweetheartâ Sam sighed and grabbed your hand. âWhat elseâÂ
âWell, just now it was⊠it was fireâ
âFire? Like hellfire?âÂ
âYea, thatâs why I couldnât open the doorâ you saidÂ
âY/nâ he signed and pulled you into a hug. âIs that it?â He asked, stroking your hair back to comfort you best he could. You paused for a moment, debating if you wanted to tell him or notÂ
ââŠnoâ, he pulled away and looked at youÂ
âHim?â Sam shook his head slightlyÂ
âAwww cmon Y/n, thought I was your dirty little secretâ Lucifer taunted, you nodded, Sam noticed that your eyes were glued to the bed. He turned around to figure out what you were looking at
âWhat? Tell meâ he saidÂ
âI see Luciferâ you whispered, Samâs face dropped and you watched the color fade from his cheeks. He blinked and glanced back at the bedÂ
âDo you see him now?âÂ
You didnât speak you just shook your head and stared at the space between Sam and the mattress
âHe needs to knowâ Sam let go of you and started to stand upÂ
âNo! Wait Sam donât tell himâÂ
âY/n you canât keep hiding this from him this is seriousâÂ
âSam pleaseâ you beggedÂ
âNo, look I can tell him or you can. Itâs your choiceâ you shut your eyes and let out a groan before you picked yourself up off the groundÂ
âAww go run to daddy tattletaleâ Lucifer snickeredÂ
âShut upâ you mumbledÂ
âWhat?â Sam turned aroundÂ
âNothingâ you pushed past him and jogged down the stairs. When you reached the living room Dean was siting on the couch with a hardened expression. You went to speak before you changed your mind amd turned around. You were met with two large hands on your shoulders and a stern expression from SamÂ
âTell me whatâ Dean raised his brow and folded his arms
âY/nâs been having a⊠a bit of a hard time adjustingâÂ
âGo onâ Sam gave you a gentle nudge and pushed you towards the couch. You stood there for a second, frozen in place, fingers twitching before you spokeÂ
âI see thingsâ you stated quietlyÂ
âIâm sorry?â Dean scoffed
âYea I heard you the first time what do you mean I see things? Like visions?â He saidÂ
âNo like⊠like things that arenât thereâ you correctedÂ
âHallucinationsâ Dean stood up, his expression had changed from annoyed to concerned. You just nodded. Dean shot Sam a worried glance before his gaze turned back to you
âAnd youâre just now telling us this?â He snappedÂ
âI didnât wanna worry youâ you mumbledÂ
âWorry me- what the hell Y/n?!â
âNo seriously what the hell. I mean what- how am I supposed to argue with that? What are you seeing? Demons?â He rubbed his face amd started to paceÂ
âFor startersâ you agreed
âStarters? What elseâ he asked, you went quietÂ
âY/nâ he said firmlyÂ
âLots of things, mostly things from hell, like the fire or the chains. But I also see himâÂ
âHim?â Dean questionedÂ
âShe sees Luciferâ Sam answered for youÂ
âLucif-â Dean couldnât even finish his sentence. He ran his hands through his hair and did a lap around the table. He bit his lip, took in a deep breath, and tried to calm himselfÂ
âIâm sorry, I got it under controlâÂ
âUnder control? Y/n we just found you screaming your head off upstairs, you wanna call that under control? Youâre not ok Y/n, youâre messed up, which fine, I get it, Iâm not blaming you but you need help kidâÂ
âI need timeâ you stated âand spaceâ you looked between your brothers before you shook your headÂ
âI think Iâm gonna take a walkâ you decidedÂ
âWhat? No Y/n youâre not-â
âI need some airâ you waved Dean off with a flick of your wrist and headed towards the door.Â
âY/nâ Sam called after you but you kept walking until you reached the door handleÂ
âIâll be back in a few, just give me some timeâ you said before you opened the door and slipped out the back. The gravel crunched beneath your shoes, the breeze was crisp and chilly. You made it halfway through the yard before you heard a pair of footsteps⊠no⊠two pairs. You turned around and saw both of your brothers jogging towards youÂ
âI thought I said I needed spaceâ you sighedÂ
âI know, I just donât want you out here by yourselfâ Dean said, giving you a half smile. His eyes looked tired and his jacket was all wrinkled. Sam stood beside him looking just as exhausted but desperate nonetheless
âWhy donât we take a drive, huh? Grab some grub we need a break kiddoâ Dean suggested, you pondered the thought and almost went to decline before Sam spokeÂ
âPlease Y/n, we just want you to be safe. We donât have to talk about it, just some greasy food maybe we can stop for ice cream on the way backâ you nibbled on the inside of your lip before you cavedÂ
âFine, no questionsâÂ
âDealâ Dean said, grabbing his keys from his pocket. The three of you headed towards the car and drove out of the yard. You drove for thirty minutes, no questions, no pestering. Just Deanâs music softly playing in the background, the engine filled up the remaining space. After a few more minutes you reached a little diner. You went inside and picked a booth. The boys sat across from you, their eyes were locked in on your frameÂ
âSorryâ Sam apologized, picking up his menu. âIâm just worriedâ
âI told you Iâm fine, I just.. I donât know Iâm just stressed you know? I canât tell whatâs real and whatâs not, everywhere I look heâs there, in the corner, watching meâ you fiddled with your sleeve and watched an older couple take a seat a few tables down.Â
âYou really canât tell?â Dean askedÂ
âI mean I know itâs not real it just⊠it feels realâ you said quietly. You looked up at Dean and saw a faint smile on his faceÂ
âWhat?â You scoffed, waiting for him to make a dumb dad jokeÂ
âNothing itâs justâ he paused and sat his menu down. âYou know, for a Winchester I thought you be moreâ he cocked his head âcleverâÂ
Your brows furrowed âwhat?âÂ
âOh cmon Y/n, donât play dumbâ Sam snickeredÂ
âI donât..â you trailed off when you realized the diner was starting to melt. The walls began to drip and the table started disappearingÂ
âYou thought they cared about you this muchâ Dean chuckled, his voice distorted slightly. You stumbled out of the booth and tripped over a wooden box. You tumbled to the floor, your eyes widened . The tacky checkered tiles of the diner morphed into cold concrete.Â
âYou honestly believed that?â Sam stood up, his body flickered for a brief second. âBelieved thisâ he said motioning towards the crumbling ceiling. Suddenly the walls collapsed, you picked yourself up off the floor and tried to run. You made it a few feet before your foot got caught on a metal pipe. You tripped and fell, your hands and knees landed on the floor hard. You winced, you were on all fours, the room shook.Â
You picked your hands up and cringed when you realized youâd fallen on broken glass. You whimpered and curled them against your chest until the shaking finally stopped. A loud sharp sound echoed through what you now noticed was a warehouse. You turned your body and saw Lucifer slowly walking towards you clapping his hands. A burst of laughter tore through the air, a smile crept up his lipsÂ
âOh Y/n, I gotta say the look on your face right nowâ he clicked his tongue a few times. âPricelessâÂ
âIâm afraid so kiddoâ he shruggedÂ
âNo I was with them, the diner, the-â
âOh you mean..â he bent down and scooped up a menu off the floor. âThis dinerâ he held up the piece of paper and snapped his fingers. The menu vanished but his devilish grin remained.
âSorry sweetheart, hate to burst your bubbleâ you pushed yourself into the corner, the air smelled like oil and rust.Â
âWhat?â He asked, he slowly made his way toward you. âI thought we were friendsâ he faked a frown as you brought your knees up to your chest. He stood over you before he crouched down and hummedÂ
âYou look tired Y/n, you should really work on that sleep schedule of yoursâ he teasedÂ
âGo awayâ you whisperedÂ
âI thought youâd never askâ he smirked and then he was gone. You looked around the warehouse, squinting at the shadows waiting for him to jump out at you. You forced yourself to your feet and tried to brush the glass off your hands but the shards were too deep. You flinched and decided to leave them in, you slowly made your way out of the corner
âIs this better Y/nâ you jumped at the voice and immediately started to spin in place.Â
âWhat you donât wanna play with me anymoreâ he hissed, his voice bounced off the walls but you couldnât see him. Your head was on a swivel, you turned in every direction.
âYouâre not real!â You yelled
âDoes it matterâ you felt your hair being pulled, ice cold fingertips grazed your cheek. You shrieked and swatted the air, another laugh rang through the empty warehouseÂ
âDoesnât it feel real Y/n?â He purred, you felt your skin crawl
âSAM!â You screamed, praying that calling their names out would make them magically appear. âDEAN!â You holleredÂ
âTheyâre not comingâ he whispered in your ear, so close you could feel his breath. You screeched and fell to the floor, slamming your hands against your ears. The glass sunk deeper into your palms, a few pieces scratched your face and rolled down your arms.Â
âGet upâ he ordered, his voice didnât sound as playful this time. âGet up!â He growled, you heard a loud crash but you didnât look up.Â
âY/n!â He screamed, another crash echoed through your eardrumsÂ
âY/n!â Your eyes snapped open, the voice had changed. You looked up and saw your brothers standing in the middle of the warehouse. They looked real, they looked scared. Their eyes were huge, they froze when you saw them
âY/nâ Dean sad calmly, approaching you like he was trying to catch a stray dogÂ
âNo!â You shouted, you stood up and grabbed the only thing you were ninety nine percent sure of. Your gun. You whipped it out and cocked it, aiming at the center of his chestÂ
âWOAH!â Sam immediately threw his hands up and put himself in front of Dean. You redirected your aim towards SamÂ
âY/n. Put the gun downâ Sam ordered sternlyÂ
âCmon Y/n, youâre really gonna fall for this againâ Lucifer finally appeared, he leaned against a metal shelf covered in dust and old boxes. You looked over at him and switched gears. You pointed the barrel at his head, all he did was chuckleÂ
âYou know you canât kill me sweetheartâ he taunted, you didnât think you just shot. He disappeared as the bullet pierced the box that was behind headÂ
âY/N!â Dean barked âunder no circumstances are we to recklessly discharge a weapon. Do you understand me?âÂ
âI canât tellâ you pointed the gun back at Dean. He put his hands up like Sam and took a slow step forwardÂ
âNo! Youâre not real!â You cried, the gun rattled as your hand began to shakeÂ
âIâm as real as it gets kiddoâ he said, he softened his voice and lowered his handsÂ
âYou sure about that?â You whipped your head around
âItâs meâ your eyes watered, Dean was now suddenly standing behind you.Â
âY/n?â Sam tried to catch your attention
âI donât know which ones realâ you sobbedÂ
âBaby Iâm realâ the Dean next to Sam pledÂ
âI canât trust youâ your hand was shaking so hard the gun almost slipped. You made a split decision, impulsive and stupid, you raised your gun and held it against your templeÂ
âNO!â Sam screamed, your sobs grew louderÂ
âHEY! Look at meâ Dean yelled, this time he didnât hesitate to approach you.Â
âI canât do it Deâ you closed your eyes, your tears slipped down your cheek.Â
âYes you can look at me, heyâ you felt a warm rough hand wrap around your wrist. Your gun was easily taken from you and immediately cleared. You heard the magazine hit the ground with a thud.Â
âHeyâ you kept your eyes closed, you couldnât look at him. Dean quickly slipped your gun under his belt and cupped both sides of your faceÂ
âY/n, I need you to open your eyesâ he gently swiped his thumb across your cheek to rid the tearsÂ
âYouâre not realâ you sniffled, you heard another pair of footsteps approach youÂ
âY/n, I need you to trust usâ that was SamÂ
âOpen your eyesâ Dean said, his voice was more firm this time. You squeezed your eyes as tight as they would go before you forced yourself to open them. A blurry image of your brothers came into viewÂ
âThere she isâ Dean smiled and stroked your hair back. You almost believed it for a second before you saw him looming over Samâs shoulder. You snapped your eyes shut again and whimperedÂ
âI told you, you canât get rid of me that easy squirtâÂ
âHey, hey, hey, whatever youâre seeing itâs not real. You hear me? Itâs not realâ Dean gave you a little shake. You opened your eyes and glanced at Lucifer, he raised his brow and set his chin on Samâs shoulder. You watched him peek up at your brother before he looked back at youÂ
âHe says the same thing about youâ you whispered, Dean shot Sam a worried glance before he shallowedÂ
âHey Y/n, give me your handâ Sam held his own hand out for you to grabÂ
âWhat?â You questionedÂ
âYour hand, gimme your handâ he reached for you before you could even register what he said.Â
âSorry in advanceâ he mumbledÂ
âWhat- OW Sammy stopâ you yelped, Sam was pressing his thumb into your palm. The glass shot another sharp pain into your skin.Â
âSam stopâ you tried to jerk away but he held you tighterÂ
âDo you feel that?! Iâm real. Deanâs real. This is real Y/n it has to feel different pleaseâ he begged, Lucifer flickered. The pain became irrelevant when you saw his smile fadeÂ
âNo biggie, weâve worked with pain before sweetheartâ he shrugged, but he didnât look as confident as he did beforeÂ
âHey, focusâ Dean snapped his fingers in front of your face. âWeâre real, you gotta make it mean more than whatever youâre seeing kiddoâ he grabbed your shoulders and gave you a firm shakeÂ
âLook at meâ you cut your eyes at himÂ
âYou gotta trust us, you gotta make it stone number one. Are you hearing me?âÂ
âY/nâ Sam grabbed your chin and tilted your face to meet his. All you could do was nodÂ
âDamn rightâ Lucifer scoffed, he walked around Sam and started to circle the three of you.Â
âDonât look at him, look at meâ Dean ordered but you couldnât help it. You watched him stalk you, his eyes were cold and torturousÂ
âHey!â Dean grabbed your hand and dug his thumb into your palmÂ
âOW DEAN!â You howled and frantically tried to pry his fingers offÂ
âY/nâ Lucifer warned, but he was flickering more nowÂ
âThis is different Y/n, make it different. This is earth, this is life, it sucks and it hurts but it feels differentâ Dean clenched his jaw and pushed down on your palm again. You cried but you focused on the pain, when you looked back up he was gone. You stared at the empty space then you looked down at your palms. They were covered in bright red blood and small glass shards. You felt the pain, the sting, the burn, but it felt real this timeÂ
âHeyâ Sam snapped you out of your trance and found your gaze. âYou with us?â He asked, you realized how terrified he looked, you remembered the gun. Everything came crashing down on you all at once the guilt, the shame, the fear. It overwhelmed you and before you could warn your brothers you felt your knees buckle. You started to collapse before Dean quickly hooked his arm under yoursÂ
âWoah, woah, woahâ he muttered, gently lowering you to the ground. You immediately started crying, loud heart wrenching sobs.Â
âIâm sorry. Iâm so sorryâ you criedÂ
âHey, hey, hey, hey, shh none of thatâ Sam was at your side in seconds, he pulled you into his chest and held you like a delicate flowerÂ
âIâm sorry I didnât mean to- the gun.. I-âÂ
âStop itâ Sam cut you off before you could continue. âDonâtâ he cupped your head and tucked you under his chin. You cried into his flannel, staining the fabric, clutching the buttons.Â
âItâs ok, shh, I got you, we got youâ Sam soothed, he started to gently stroke your hairÂ
âNoâ you whimpered and pushed him away, he let you go but kept you within reach
âI almost- I couldâve-âÂ
âUh uh, weâre not gonna do thatâ Dean said, he grabbed your chin again and held your face firmly. âYou were scared, you were scared and you didnât know what to believe, I get it. Iâm not mad and neither is Samâ he gently wiped your tears away with his other hand before he pulled you closerÂ
âBut I need you to listen to me. Under no condition do you raise that gun and point it at yourself. Never. Do you understand me?â He asked, you noddedÂ
âI need a promise kiddoâÂ
âI promiseâ you croakedÂ
âIf I ever see you do something like that again so help me Y/n, you will never touch a gun againâ he warned, you sniffled and nodded againÂ
âGoodâ he instantly pulled you into his chest and cradled you like it was the end of the world. âShh, youâre safeâ he cooed, rubbing his hand up and down your arm âIâm here, Sammyâs hereâ he whispered, rocking slightly. Sam reached out and grabbed your wrist to remind you that you were okÂ
âYou got out sweetheart, youâre homeâ Sam murmured, his voice was so soft and familiar. Everything finally felt right and natural. The steady thump of Deanâs heartbeat, the smell of Sam laundry detergent, the warm calloused hand around your arm. You stayed in their arms for who knows long before Dean finally broke the silenceÂ
âWe should get back, Bobbyâs been worriedâ he said quietly, kissing the top of your head before he loosened his gripÂ
âBobbyâs worried?â You asked, you sounded so young and childlike to them. Like you were surprised someone actually cared about youÂ
âYea heâs been worried sick ever since you got back, the man barely sleeps. Heâs probably paced a hole in the floor by now, we should get goingâ Sam saidÂ
Dean gingerly helped you up, careful not to touch your hands too much. âSorry about your handsâ he winced when he saw how bloodied and banged up you were. âI had toâÂ
âItâs okâ you smiled tiredly and nudged his shoulder
âCmon, letâs go before it gets too lateâ Sam coaxed you towards the exit of the warehouse, both of the boys kept you at arms length. You made your way outside when you saw the impala sloppily parked in the grass. You gasped.Â
âOh God, oh, oh Dean Iâm sorry, I didnât- I took that didnât I- I-â
âHey, hey, sheâs fine, donât worry I checkedâ he winked, you knew he was lying, he didnât care about the car.Â
âYou sure I didnât mess it up?â you slowly approached the car, scared to inspect itÂ
âItâs fine Y/n, I promise, besides I care more about my sister than a friggin carâ  he grabbed you by the shoulder and pulled you into a brief hug. âDonât worry about itâ he ruffled your hair before he let you goÂ
âCmon, the house is a ways awayâ he got in and started the car. You went to sit in the back before Sam redirected you
âSam we donât all fit in the frontâ you chuckledÂ
âSays whoâ he said, you shook your head but you listened and slid in beside Dean. Sam got in after you, sandwiching you in. Thankfully you were smaller than the boys so you fit between them like a glove. The drive was quiet, Sam kept his hand on your knee, rubbing small circles on your jeans to comfort you. Dean had his hand gingerly resting next to yours, he was careful not to mess with the wounds but close enough to provide affection.Â
When you finally arrived at the house you felt exhausted. Your body ached, your eyes were dry, and your hands were burning. You went to get out of the car when Sam easily scooped you up in his armsÂ
âSammyâ you went to protest but he shushed you and made his way to the porch. Bobby opened the door with a worried expression before his face softenedÂ
âHi Bobbyâ you smiled, you had your arms wrapped around your brothers neck as he carried you into the house. He set you down on the couch gently as Dean strolled through the front door
âGrab the med kit Sammyâ he directed, fetching a bowl from Bobbyâs cabinet.Â
âSâgoing on?â Bobby asked, locking the door behind themÂ
âCut her hands up pretty good, gotta patch her up shouldnât be too badâ Dean filled the bowl with warm water and grabbed a clean cloth on his way to the couch. He sat down next to you and placed the bowl on the table.
âLemme see those handsâÂ
You uncurled your wrists and showed him your bloodied palmsÂ
âGosh Y/nâ he mumbled âwhat happenedâ  he gingerly pulled up your sleevesÂ
âI fell in the warehouse, landed on glassâ you winced when he opened your hands a little more
âSorryâ he mumbled, examining the severity. âAlright, I gotta get that glass out, then weâll see if you need stitchesâ he explained, you nodded. You were trying to focus on the pain when you caught a glimpse of familiar face. Your body shivered when you saw Lucifer siting on Bobbyâs table. Swinging his legs back and forth, just watchingÂ
âHey. Eyes on meâ Dean grabbed your chin and forced you to look at himÂ
âHeâs backâ you trembledÂ
âHeâs not realâ Dean grabbed a pair of tweezers and held it close to your hand. âOk, easy does itâ Dean gingerly started to pick out the glass fragments. You squirmed a little, the pain was sharp and intenseÂ
âEasy, easy, I know it stingsâ Dean soothed, Lucifer started flickering like a dying light bulb.Â
âDonât worry honey, Iâll be back, again, and again, and againâ he taunted, you grit your teeth and focused on the gash on your hand. You felt the couch dip beside, Sam had plopped down and placed his hand on your knee. You were boxed in between the boys again, safe. Dean tugged on a shard of glass that instinctively made you flinch. You pulled away from him but he held onto your wrist with his other handÂ
âI know, I know, I gotta get it out kiddoâ he didnât yell or look annoyed, he just looked like a concerned brother.Â
âHeâs almost doneâ Sam said softly, he started rubbing your back with a warm hand. Eventually the pain took over and Lucifer vanished again. You didnât care how much it stung when Dean dipped your hand in the bowl of water. Or how much it burned when he cleaned the wound out with antiseptic. You didnât even flinch when he wrapped them up.Â
He was gone and you could finally breathe again.Â
âThereâ Dean let go of your wrists and gave you a tired smile. âHe still there?âÂ
Deanâs smile grew a little wider. He kissed your forehead and pat your shoulder. âGood. You keep your eyes on us ok? Things start getting bad you stay put, weâll always find youâÂ
âWhat if I donât know itâs youâ you whisperedÂ
âYou will. Just stay putâÂ
Sam squeezed your knee and started to clean up the living room. You were far from ok, you were falling apart. Your dark circles had dark circles, your hands were torn to shreds, and you were exhausted. Everything around you felt like a trap or a trick but your brothers were there to pull you back down. You werenât going to pop back into shape this go round, it would take time. But your brothers had all the time in the world for you.Â
(I have a few requests, Iâm working on them now. Theyâll take a while to write but Iâll hopefully be able to post preferences or headcanons simultaneously)
If you read this entire fic ty :)
