we need to talk
i want to first say that all of this i say out of love and thirst for truth. i know thereās going to be major issues after what i have to say, and i accept that. please know that i am the same person youāve liked and respected. i consider myself a seeker of truth and all i want is to raise consciousness. this is going to be difficult to read but i urge you to read the whole thing, think about what iāve said, and come to your own conclusions. there are a lot of questions iām asking that have been forbidden but they need to be asked, and when questions are forbidden in a movement something is extremely wrong.
why do we have to talk about male and female?
ignoring sex based oppression is bad for everyone, which means we need to stop ignoring sex. male and female are distinct categories that almost everyone alive fits into. Ā most intersex people, especially female intersex people, have their genitals surgically altered at birth so they can be put into one of the two sex categories. the worldās enforcement of the two sex system is ruthlessly oppressive, starting at birth.
we have intra community terms for this - dfab/dmab/camab/cafab etc., which have served to confuse the reality of a world where male people are an oppressor class to female people and sex-based has to be adknowledged to have an understanding of life based in reality.
what is female and male socialization?
male and female socialization are both real. it may be painful for trans people to recognize this, but it canāt be ignored. when you are born, your sex is determined and the process of socialization begins.
female socialization is being complimented on your appearance before anything else, called on less in class, constantly having your words devalued, sexual harassment starting from a young age, being taught to present your body as an object for others consumption, to fear rape always, to blame yourself if you are attacked, to monitor your appearance obsessively, to value yourself and your work lessā¦ being socialized to be subjugated.
male socialization is getting more attention, getting more praise, having your actions and achievements seen before your body (relative to a girl otherwise in the same class), being taught you should have confidence in your opinions, having many choices for male role models, being taught women who disagree with you are emotional or pmsing, that womens bodies are yours to use and should look the part, etcā¦ being socialized to subjugate.
Keep reading
While I donāt agree with everything in this analysis (particularly my views on dysphoric non-binary people (as a whole not individual experiences) seem different, but as there wasnāt really an in depth section to it, that may be a false assumption!), the insulting and honestly verbally abusive reaction some people have given in their reblogs is proof of exactly what is wrong with the trans community right now.
You are opening up discussions. You are talking about real problems in the community. People arenāt trying to discuss or even debate your view. Itās just another chorus of āunfollow because this woman has an opinion strongly different from me.ā
It makes me so glad I accidentally deleted my popular blog sometimes so I can reblog this kind of stuff without the fear of being attacked relentlessly anymore. I hope you arenāt in for too much abuse because of your post, OP. You seem like a wonderful person.
If you honestly want to know why op's post isn't being discussed directly the answer is that their points have all been already levied against trans women so often it's mostly just transphobic background noise.
The "trans women are prone to being Violent Male Predators" idea is so common that it's a movie trope. At least half of the movies that feature a trans woman character rely on this trope for one reason or other.
The idea that trans women are "really male" is even more common than that. It's also used as a justification for when an *actually* violent male acts out his transphobia and murders her. /The girl I was attracted to enough to illicit sex from was TRANS!!??? So naturally instead of acknowledging that I actually do find trans women attractive I killed her./ This is a real argument that has let real murderers go home.
So the answer to "why aren't trans when engaging in this discussion seriously?" is that they have, for years. It gets tiring after a while trying to make well reasoned arguments against transphobia and while the longer posts spitting these ideas around might get reactionary, trigger induced reblogs, those who could reasonably engage with it already have countless times before and must are just done.
P.S. I've gone through the notes and there's someone who doesn't believe transphobia exists thinks that the acknowledgment of its existence is the only criticism of this post, everything else got a bravo. If that doesn't make it clear to you that something in this post appeals to transphobia I'm pretty sure nothing will.
