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I'm 25, Eating Shredded Cheese Out Of The Package, & Finally Back Blogging

I’m 25, Eating Shredded Cheese Out Of The Package, & Finally Back Blogging

Hey friends, 

Can I still call you “friends?” I know it’s been awhile. Like, a long time. But I’m back. I recently experienced what some people (and my insurance company) would qualify as a “a life event.” I turned 25. I am definitively in my mid-twenties. And I am also definitively  eating Sargento shredded cheese directly out of the package as I type this. Cheese is spilling everywhere.

I…

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An Honest Thought I Had

I moved to New York City when I was 23 years old, with too many possessions and too many hopes. It took me a whole year to get here — symbolically of course. In reality I left my childhood home behind, I took I95 transferred to the FDR and drove all the way through to my East Village apartment, which took about an hour and a half. But I had spent a whole year trying to move to New York City, and…

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This Week's Episode of The Bachelor: Cars and Girls

This Week’s Episode of The Bachelor: Cars and Girls

Check your Bachelor fantasy league scores and hunker down, here’s what you missed on this week’s episode of The Bachelor. Another January, another journey for love. Where does ABC start off this season? Thankfully, with a recap of Arie’s journey through The Bachelor franchise, to remind young millennials just exactly who he is. I have to admit, I’m a pretty big fan of The Bachelor, and even I…

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What You Missed on Last Night's The Bachelorette: The Winner Takes It All

What You Missed on Last Night’s The Bachelorette: The Winner Takes It All

Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Dallas where we lay our scene. From ancient grudge break to new rose ceremonies, Where civil group dates make civil drama unclean.  Tonight’s episode of The Bachelorette involves two fewer suicides than Romeo & Juliet, but let’s be real, just as much drama. Should I do this blog post in iambic pentameter?  (more…)

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What You Missed On This Week's The Bachelorette: Norway Is Matt in the Final Six?

What You Missed On This Week’s The Bachelorette: Norway Is Matt in the Final Six?

This week’s episode of The Bachelorette is a two-parter. In part one, Captain von Trapp hires fraulein Maria to be a nanny to his seven kids. In part two, he and Maria get married and fight the Nazis.  Wait, sorry guys. I’m doing that thing again where I mix up The Bachelorette and The Sound of Music. They both are set in scenic locales, they both heavily feature conflict, it’s an easy mistake.  …

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Emptying My Twitter Drafts Part II

Emptying My Twitter Drafts Part II

It’s been a while, and my Twitter drafts folder is starting to become as cluttered at the Forever21 sale section. I’ll let you decide if these tweets are more or less valuable than the black unitard that says “UNAVAILABLE” across the chest that I saw in the Forever21 sale section last night.    On Adulthood: (more…)

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What You Missed On The Bachelorette: Can't She Just Be Romanced?

What You Missed On The Bachelorette: Can’t She Just Be Romanced?

Wow there is a crazy showdown at the start of this week’s episode. Squaring off in one corner, weighing in at 225 lbs we have Eric, the personal trainer. And in the other corner, weighing in at 165 lbs (soaking wet) we have Lee, the singer-songwriter. As well all know, in the storied history of one-on-one altercations, singer-songwriters almost always come out on top.  (more…)

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What You Missed On The Bachelorette: Was That The NBA Finals?

What You Missed On The Bachelorette: Was That The NBA Finals?

As Memorial Day came to a close I thought back on all the sacrifices our soldiers made for our country. And I couldn’t help but wonder, are we all soldiers in the war for love?  Okay, that’s my one and only shot at being Carrie Bradshaw. Here’s what you missed on this week’s edition of The Bachelorette:  For the first group date of the season, Rachel hosts a barbecue for a few select boys, to…

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Another Bachelorette Recap: Another Journey To Love

Another Bachelorette Recap: Another Journey To Love

So how about that episode of Dancing with the Stars last night, right? Just kidding guys, you know why we’re here. The Bachelorette is back.  Is everybody ready to take off your lawyer hat and put on your love hat? (Paraphrased slightly from Rachel’s opening intro.)  As Chris Harrison is quick to point out, our Bachelorette, Rachel, has everything. Great friends, a loving family, a powerful…

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Life Update Pt. I: Mozzarella Sticks and Good News

Life Update Pt. I: Mozzarella Sticks and Good News

Hey friends, it’s been a while. I don’t write much anymore, which is on me. But, at the request of my sister, I’m back at my metaphorical piece of notepaper ready to write something new.  Things are happening in my life. I think. Well, technically things are happening to everyone every day. But let me correct myself. Good things are happening in my life. I mean, right now, I’m halfway into an…

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I Guess, What I'm Trying to Say is...

I Guess, What I’m Trying to Say is…

Eek, guys, I haven’t posted in a while. I’d like to say I haven’t been writing because my social calendar is bursting at the seams. But that’s not really the truth. I’ve had the time, I just haven’t been able to figure out what to write about lately.  When I started writing two years ago, I was living in London and having awkward encounters with foreigners, going on grand escapades, and making…

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What You Missed on The Bachelor: Hasta La Cheese Pasta

What You Missed on The Bachelor: Hasta La Cheese Pasta

When we left Nick last, ABC had just manufactured a meet-up with everyone’s favorite of his ex-girlfriends. No, no, it wasn’t Kaitlyn. It was Andi. Remember Andi?  If you’re wondering why Andi’s there, you are not alone. Me, Nick, most of Bachelor Nation, and possibly even Andi herself, are with you. It basically makes no sense for her to be there. (more…)

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What You Missed on The Bachelor: In Rachel We Trust

What You Missed on The Bachelor: In Rachel We Trust

When this week’s episode starts everyone is reeling from the bomb that Nick dropped. You remember, when Nick said he wasn’t sure this show would work out for him? Well, to clarify, not everyone is reeling. A very select group of six women on a reality show are shocked that Nick might not find love.  Most people, law of averages say, are not reeling from Nick’s declaration that he may not find…

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What You Missed on The Bachelor: *Sigh*

What You Missed on The Bachelor: *Sigh*

When we last saw our friends they were in New Orleans, in the midst of the two-on-one date from hell. Taylor had made the gutsy decision to re-interrupt Corinne’s dinner date with Nick. Tonight’s episode features fourteen people on a search for love. These are their stories. *Dun Dun* Taylor the re-interruptor (no comic book deal pending), comes back from the dead* to give Nick a stern talking to…

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What You Missed On The Bachelor: Michael Jordan, Abraham Lincoln, Corinne. All the Greats.

What You Missed On The Bachelor: Michael Jordan, Abraham Lincoln, Corinne. All the Greats.

We have a new president and yet we’re still watching the same drama on The Bachelor. How many weeks in a row can Corinne behave like a child before she gets the boot? Let’s find out.  When we left off, Vanessa and Nick were in a heated conversation about Corinne. Vanessa calls him on HIS SHIT, and has a real take-it-or-leave-it attitude which I really admire. Nick leaves the mansion for a few…

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What You Missed On The Bachelor: Quit Playing Olympic Games With My Heart

Everything you missed on #TheBachelor last night:

To start this week’s episode, Nick has a lot of ‘splaining to do. When we left him last, Nick had sent Liz home and decided that it was time he tell the rest of the girls that he had sex with Liz at the wedding last Spring.  Nick arrives for the rose ceremony to talk with the girls. He tells them all about the Liz situation and the girls seem pretty stoic about it. They all get a chance to tell…

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What You Missed on This Week's Episode of The Bachelor: IDK if Her Dad Would Really Be Proud

What you missed on this week's The Bachelor...

Sometimes I think I would be more psychologically healthy if I didn’t watch this television show. Unfortunately for me there is no twelve-step program designed to get me to stop watching, no nicotine-style patch to help me get over this addiction. So I’ll just keep writing until years and years into the future, with my dying breath, I whisper, “What even are the right reasons?” (more…)

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