Crying in the prettiest places @one-last-bow - Tumblr Blog

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hucklerabbot-and-rock

valleydean

never forget that everything in the world is about supernatural.

mashumaru

Xie Zheng, a damsel in the tower, who occasionally climbs down his tower to murder his wife's enemies.

#not this being the most accurate description of the show #pursuit of jade

werewolf-transgenderism

only 62 more frogs until we hit 8,000 species described. the moment we've all been waiting for

werewolf-transgenderism

there are an average of about 150 new amphibian species described per year so I remain hopeful that 2026 will be the year of 8,000 frogs

werewolf-transgenderism

I do love that somebody tagged tumblr's own frog scientist on this post. chop chop dr scherz, we've got 62 more frogs to discover and you're the only frog scientist any of us knows

werewolf-transgenderism

happy world frog day, 50 frogs to go until we hit 8,000 species described!!

patheticwheeler

@markscherz

markscherz

There is a small but real chance I will get to Do The Thing. Watch this space.

knitmeapony

Everyone prepare the Frog Rave, which shall be the opposite of the Crab Rave, unleashed when someone on tumblr that we like does something nifty.

objectlessondujour

I'm getting ready, but we need frog rave .gifs!

knitmeapony

exsequar

Get in loser we're going to the frog rave

#queue know nothing

silivren-vera

#me today when I saw ides of march trending #ides of march #julius caesar

whitager

you have to read to your kids you have to read with your kids you have to read in front of your kids you have to take your kids to the library you have to talk about books with your kids you have to let your kids read books that are a little difficult or scary you have to teach your kids to love reading

knaidelmaidel

and it’s never too early to start! my parents read books to me when i was 6 months old, and it taught me that reading is cozy and fun, even if I didn’t understand what she was saying

ladypaperwriterson

What if you were BLACK and GAY and a PIMP in early 20th century Louisiana, and you FELL IN LOVE with your super hot STALKER, and you got MARRIED, and he wants to CHEAT, but he doesn't want YOU cheating, and you want a DAUGHTER, and she's THE BEST, but she HATES your husband, and she wants you to KILL him and his sidepiece, and so you DO that, but then he HAUNTS you, and then you MISS him, and then you go to PARIS, and you meet MORE gays there, and their leader is HOT, and you FALL FOR HIM TOO, but then your husband comes BACK, and EVERYONE wants your daughter DEAD, and they KILL her, and you completely LOSE it, and you burn EVERYONE, and you get a DIVORCE, and you marry YOUR EX HUSBAND'S EX, and then in the 70s you decide to have someone INTERVIEW you, but you lose it AGAIN, and it all goes to SHIT, and then everything is a BLUR, and then it's 2020, and there's COVID, and you decide you want to be interviewed AGAIN, and you discover your current husband BRAINWASHED YOU, so you get ANOTHER divorce, and you're now TWICE divorced before you're even 150, and you run back to your first ex, but then that fuckass reporter PUBLISHES your interview as a BOOK, and your ex is MAD, and you want him BACK, but he decides to become a ROCKSTAR, THEN WHAT

Lestat Claudia Armand Daniel Santiago

mylordshesacactus

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

mylordshesacactus

The rules of Gay Pirate Plate are simple by the way.

The plate must be clearly and openly displayed in a place of great prominence whenever it is in your possession. When it is not in your possession, the display piece must remain in place. This is where you would put your gay pirate plate, IF YOU HAD ONE.

No active steps may be taken to prevent the theft of the Gay Pirate Plate. That goes against the spirit of the game, as does attempting to hide it.

The plate MUST be stolen and cannot be gifted or removed with permission. Should you witness attempted theft of the Gay Pirate Plate you are required to intervene and return it to its place.

Every time your sibling successfully absconds with the Gay Pirate Plate, you must respond with indignant fury, as if you have not also repeatedly and blatantly stolen the Gay Pirate Plate.

mylordshesacactus

WOE

PLATE BE UPON YE

mylordshesacactus

STATUS UPDATE

I texted this image to my family at around 2am their time last night and woke up to appropriately indignant messages about theft, betrayal, etc.

saintjosie

nothing could have prepared me for how gay the gay pirate plate was

n1t6g251436

petaltexturedskies

I hope you believe that you can still make a beautiful life for yourself even if you lost many years of it to grief, or darkness, depression, or a wound that wouldn't close.

yuriartillery

nice mechanical watches are wasted on wealthy men. a billionaire who will wear it once every four years and leave it in a case the rest of the time doesnt deserve a marvel of engineering like that. *i* deserve a watch like that because i get sexually aroused by clockwork