@oneupontheend - Tumblr Blog

colemckenzies

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

ggiornojo

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

colemckenzies

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

animatedamerican

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

nentuaby

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

animatedamerican

… huh. I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

thepioden

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

derinthescarletpescatarian

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

rooksandravens

Is it a glitch or a feature?

cranberrybogmummy

Feature

s-peak-in-tongue-s

this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldn’t go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that there’s a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.

lizawithazed

I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this

official-linguistics-post

official linguistics post

jennifercheckwannabeme

where?

seriousfic

The Lion King: It is impossible to CGI photorealistic lions who can also emote!

Chronicles of Narnia:

ruffboi-mags

i am so angry about how perfect this gif is.

tayloralison

NDHSNHDBDHE

babyfoxcollectionthings

smokeythemajestic

Unrestrained summer fun

andhumanslovedstories

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought "why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff," so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It's alright if you can't because apparently I fuckin couldn't either

andhumanslovedstories

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don't need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let's say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

thomrainierskies

I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”

every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid

lazarus-lazuli

it’s been said before but the fact this site used to let you edit other people’s posts is beyond unhinged. the potential for slander was next level, you really could just edit the body of posts that weren’t even your own and it’d look like the OP said it. just casually spread misinformation via reblog, the original post being lost to time. john green cock monologue. sayonara you weeaboo shits. they gave us way too much power. can you imagine if a website let you do that today? people would lose their fucking minds. sure, on twitter you can impersonate anybody, but you have to make your own tweets. they would never let you edit other people’s tweets! that’s stupid! it’s literally the worst feature any social media site could ever have! if it ever happened somewhere else, it would be by accident and fixed immediately! but on old school tumblr? yeah, you could edit someone’s childhood fear from vampires to danny devito, and we all just had to live like that for years. INSANE.

pikachu-says-peekaboo

@babytrain I AM PUTTING YOU ON BLAST???!!! MISS MA'AM DO YOU KNOW HOW ICONIC YOU ARE????

punchholesinthesky

unashamedly-enthusiastic

foervraengd

Every artist who sees this post should do the following:

- Watch the video.

- Follow the instructions

- Reblog

I can’t stress you enough about how important these exercises are for your drawing hand. You don’t wanna get CTS of Tendonitis and similar stuff that will prevent you from making art or even hold a pencil.

flatbear

Okay, this guy is my HERO. I just did these exercises as I watched the video, and already my arms and hands feel better. I have a degenerative tendon disease that prevents my muscles, tendons and ligaments from retaining their elasticity, and so anything that maintains the health of my bendy parts is important.

I URGE YOU. Even if you don’t draw, do these several times a day. Even just sitting at a computer can do serious damage. My dad, who was a rugby player, a carpenter, and now a handyman, suffered from severe carpal tunnel syndrome, simply as a result of sitting at the computer at the end of the day to play a little solitaire. Don’t let it happen to you!

xionbooty

((Guys, I will reblog this like, 5 times a day just so you all will see this. This is REALLY helpful, and it’s quick and easy.))

mercurialmalcontent

Wow, these are REALLY helpful. And yes, this is not just good but IMPORTANT for more than artists — if you type a lot, play a lot of video games, do anything that requires lots of repetitive movements of your hands, wrists, and arms (gardening, sewing, factory work), these can help. Even if you don’t yet get pain these are a great preventative measure, because the damage builds up over time. Youth is no protection.

And like he says, you should feel a stretch, but don’t push it too far!

keyblack-hl

Signal boosting. Guys, I just did this and holy cow do I feel incredibly light and limber in my arms. Again, even if you don’t have any sort of disease, do this as a preventative measure.

caats

thisismyideaofhumor

I always wondered why the Western Zodiac and the Chinese Zodiac were both called zodiacs if one was associated w astronomy and the other w time in general. Like what defines a zodiac that the word is only used to describe these two things? Looking up the word “zodiac” in the dictionary didnt help bc it only talked about the western one.

Well, I decided to look up the etymology for zodiac and it turns out it comes from the Greek for “circle of little animals.” I love humans