The thing about Love
The thing about love is that you can’t control it, you just wake up one day and it’s like, ‘shit, I love this person!’
They say when you know, you know and I believe that to an extent. I think you can think very early on in a relationship, ‘this is going to be my person’ but of course they will only be your person if they think that too!
I think every love is different, for some people it’s security, be that financially or emotionally, for others it’s mad passion, crazy rows and wild sex. A simple companionship for some and just pure unexplainable joy when around someone for others.
I think I’ve only been in real love once before, for me that love was pride and being in awe of someone, putting them on a pedestal, thinking everything they did was amazing, every joke they told was funny, every tale they told enthralling, believing they were so perfect looking that they once told me as a joke that their face had been measured and they were perfectly symmetrical, a fib that I believed for Six years out of love! But that love for me was also insecurity, wanting to change who I am fundamentally to be the ‘right fit’, losing pride in myself because all my adoration went to my person. It was becoming reliant on someone, needing that persons approval and setting them ridiculous expectations because I thought so highly of them that they could never possible be as amazing as I expected them to be.
It was young love, childish love and even though I felt adored by them a lot, it was quite one sided love.
Its now Ten years since my heart was broken, and after many short lived wannabe loves and a lot of infatuations or half hearted one sided relationships, usually me being on the non loving end, that I have finally found Love again!
Two way street love and as an adult, it feels so different, so much easier and more enjoyable!
It’s fresh Love so things are bound to change for better and for worse but right now, it is literally the best thing ever! It’s all the good things you see in Love, I’ve never felt so secure with anyone, so looked after and protected, which I didn’t even realise was something that love is to me. Yes, there is a little of that obsessive Sophie nature, that thinks my lover is so beautiful and funny and clever and amazing at everything and that I am so lucky to have them, but there’s no insecurity with it because I know that they think all the same things about me!
It feels healthy! There’s no games that often lead us to being infatuated and then hurt, it’s just honest and straight up love! And the best part is, I don’t have to change anything about me to be the ‘right fit’ for him because we just lock together in every way, naturally, there’s no forced smiles or awkward conversations, there’s no becoming a wallflower so not to overshadow him, there’s just us, bouncing off each other, working in harmony without trying and it’s perfect.
It’s a strange feeling not being scared of being hurt, being relaxed enough to just enjoy it, not waiting for something to spoil it. And that isn’t because I don’t care, it’s because I trust him, fully, something I don’t think I’ve experienced with any other boyfriend. Again something I didn’t realise, until now, is such a massive part of Love.
I’m so happy, I want to shout it from the rooftops ‘I’ve found my person!!!!’ , but instead I’ll settle for writing it here!
My heart is whole!














