hithtory and other such

icon by aquaticpaleo

[opabimbia]

is he… you know..

[ariaste]

PLEASE explain the Latin fuck words. for science

Okay so. The Romans think that sex doesn't count as real sex unless Someone Is Getting Penetrated By A Dick Or Dick-Adjacent Object. Very sort of dick-centric system.

So Latin has six words for "to fuck", divided into three pairs: one pair for each of the possible Holes (ass, mouth, pussy). In each pair there is a word for topping and a word for bottoming.

Most people who know a little about Latin fuck verbs know 'pedicare' and 'irrumare' from the first line of Catullus 16 (Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō), which is a poem about saying "absolutely shut the fuck up and piss all the way off" to fandom antis and purity police who are making repulsive accusations about you personally, based on things they're reading into your work from a bad-faith perspective. Catullus was so real for that and it's incredibly endearing to me that he was dealing with the same thing we are still dealing with. I got a hater in my askbox doing this about The Wisdom of Emperors just the other day, but I took the high road and, unlike Catullus, did not tell them "I will assfuck you and I will facefuck you" So here sort of a chart about the verbs: Topping | Bottoming Mouth: irrumare | fellare Ass: pedicare | cevere Cunt: futuere | crisare

Another fun fact related to the fuck verbs was that the Romans didn't think about sexual orientation in terms of who you're attracted to, they thought about it in terms of "which is your favorite hole and what do you like to do with it." So you'll get graffiti (ancient roman subtweeting) about things like "Marcus is a fututor [cunt-fucker] and a pedico [ass-fucker] but omg girlies I also heard he's a fellator [cock-sucker] 👀👀👀👀" In the modern day we'd just call him bisexual, but in Ancient Rome it is not enough to know if someone is bisexual (they think it's kind of perverted if a man only fucks women, like do you have some kind of freaky pussy fetish???? you've never once even fucked a twink??? dat's gay, bro. gay to not be bi), you also have to know if he's being bisexual in a respectable sort of way

You will notice that pussy-eating is not on this list, because those words do not mean "to fuck", they translate more directly to just "pussy-licking" (cunnilingus), and because the Romans are sexist as all hell and think that's gross and filthy anyway. This is not ONLY because of pussy terror, it's also that the mouth is the most sacred part of the body -- so eating pussy or sucking a dick is actually considered slightly more "shameful" than getting fucked in the ass. (Please note as well that the fuck verbs are gender neutral -- if you're a roman man and your girlfriend owns a strap-on, she can [pedicare] you. but be careful because your sworn enemy in the forum will have a fucking FIELD DAY if he hears about that and will write a Mean Poem about you or subtweet you on a public wall)

The moral of this story is that the Ancient Romans were absolutely *GAGGING* for social media (see Martial's Epigrams, aka My Best Tweets), and the second moral of this story is that if this was a fun post for you, you should look at my kickstarter for alllllll of this kind of nonsense in the form of A Fantasy Novel That's Pretending To Be An Academic Paper With A Fake Bibliography And Foonotes aka The Wisdom of Emperors. And please signal boost this so everyone can know about Latin Fuck Verbs and Roman Subtweeting, we've really learned so much here together

[dogpuppy]

Thinking about how to show my 4 year old what happened to the dinosaurs because he keeps asking.this picture is a good start I think

[ghouliens]

Ötzi the icemans' murderer could still be out there. We just don't know.

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[jadeharleyinc]

hey sorry. can you stand a little further back and we try again

[hailneaux]

This is why I say Black American music is THEE SUPREME. All from lil ol us stripped from everything, we create abundance out of nothing but soul. And this chart stops at 1992. Think of all we created 1992-present. 

[honeybeeofficial]

everyone say thank you ancient central and south american agricultural heroes for beans

[honeybeeofficial]

everyone say thank you ancient south american agricultural heroes for potato

[kawuli]

everyone say thank you ancient mesoamerican agricultural heroes for maize

[transhuman-priestess]

everyone say thank you to ancient central american agricultural heroes for chili peppers

[littlegrayram]

everyone say thank you to ancient south american agricultural heroes for tomatoes

[tongue-twists]

Hii sorry for the random ask, but I'm looking for more info on 15,000 year old depiction of lesbian oral sex and can't find anything online and was hoping u could help me source it tyty

Hi hello! Why of course I'm always happy to say more about 15.000 year old depiction of lesbian oral sex - it is from a series of carved slabs of limestone found in La Marche cave in France. It is one of 1.500 such slabs in fact, which all look very cool and have animals and human figures depicted clothed or naked or, in this case, well. The fact that it is a depiction of lesbian oral sex is not "confirmed" because it is almost impossible to ascribe meaning to paleolithic art, and also because it might have been carved in two parts, one figure then the other, rather than both at the same time and meant to be read as a couple interacting. But also maybe the second figure was carved on top of the other one in order to infer that interaction when it wasn't present with the first carving? very hard to say. I personally, with no authority on the matter whatsoever and no paleontology degree, declare it's a woman giving head from behind to another woman and that makes me happy.

[tongue-twists]

honestly humanity fell off when it shifted from drawing and sculpting pussies into everything to drawing dicks everywhere. which happened. idk around 12 000 years ago. been on a downslope imo.

[tongue-twists]

so in case you didn't know, paleolithic representations of genitals are, in the vast, vast, VAST majority, of vulvas. prehistoric humans would say "is anyone going to draw a vagina on this rock wall that sort of has folds?" and not wait for an answer. we have so, so many figurines that have a clear, distinct slit between the legs. there are paleolithic drawings of sexual positions and the clearest part in them is always always the pussy. that one also probably has a lesbian couple which is awesome. I'll post it later if I find it again in my book. paleolithic homo sapiens were obsessed with pussy. and we need to learn from their wisdom. draw pussy on everything, it's your heritage.

[tongue-twists]

15 000 year old depiction of lesbian oral sex be upon ye

[tongue-twists]

hey if anyone wants to get this as a tattoo I'm pretty sure the copyright is expired so have at it

[wolvesintheflowers-deactivated2]

I laughed to hard at this fucking thing.

[nattousan]

[egypt-museum]

Ritual Knife

The ivory handle of this superbly crafted knife includes a thumb rest for a right-handed user. Carved rows of minuscule animals - including elephants, lions, a giraffe, and sheep - cover both surfaces of the handle. An artisan polished the flint blade on one side and delicately flaked the other to make a cutting edge.

Predynastic Period, Naqada III Period, ca. 3300-3100 BC.

Now in the Brooklyn Museum. 09.889.118

[bebsi-cola]

when you tell people passports don't need to exist and people should be able to travel as they did throughout most of human history they think that's going too far because in their mind there exists a hoard of nameless faceless immigrants waiting to flood their country and "take over". without realising that there is nothing inherently superior about the imperial core countries - the culture, the food, the clothing, the architecture is not superior than that of the rest of the world. all you've got going for you are the benefits reaped from hundreds of years of historical colonisation and the continuing benefits of modern day imperialism. do you think if people's homes weren't subject to manufactured violence, artificial scarcity, and systematic disenfranchisement they'd all just wanna leave? can you not imagine a life where someone would be happier living in uganda than the usa?

[swordshapedleaves]

Someday your hands will be old and wrinkled, the skin spotted and bunching over your knuckles. And a child will watch you make something. It's a simple task, you'll have done it a thousand times before. But to that child, the smooth, confident way your hands move will seem like impossible magic. You have to keep living.

[swordshapedleaves]

prev these tags have me crying. this is absolutely what it's all about

[flikkerij]

i will do ANYTHING but work on my essay apparently

[semutamusic]

[stuckinapril]

Iraqi National Museum Deputy Director Mushin Hasan holds his head in his hands as he sits on destroyed artifacts in Bagdhad, Iraq. The museum was severely looted by groups allied with the US militia. April 13, 2003.

[taraxippos]

TFW I'm an early hominid and a rival walks up to me and attempts to snap my penis bone clean in half but I don't even have one

[taraxippos]

[back-then]

Mrs. Helen Moyer holding large model of an eel. 1947

Source: The Field Museum, Chicago