There’s a certain scene in The Long Game that I would have loved an expansion of, so I decided to write one.
It’s the moment towards the end where the Centaurs are knocked out of the playoffs and Ilya comes home, greets Anya, and breaks down in Shane’s arms. Eventually, Shane takes him to bed, but I like to think they had a small conversation before he does.
Ilya was sobbing in Shane’s neck, clutching him desperately as he gasped out apologies that Shane kept shushing. The longer they stood together, the more Ilya’s knees felt weakened and he sagged his weight into Shane more and more.
It reached a point where Shane started tugging him down gently. “Sit, right down here,” Shane murmured in his ear, Ilya barely able to hear over his own crying.
But Ilya obeyed, leaving them sitting in the middle of the floor together with Ilya practically in Shane’s lap. They held each other fiercely, and Ilya was loosely aware of Anya’s excitement at them being level with her, her panting breaths ghosting over his arm.
Ilya wasn’t sure how long he cried until he started to slow, coming back into himself more every second. Shane was rubbing his arms soothingly up and down Ilya’s back, face pressed into the hair at the top of Ilya’s head. Ilya tried to squirm closer into Shane’s grip, feeling in real time the trembling in his body lessening. Exhausted, Ilya turned his head toward Anya, keeping his forehead against Shane’s neck.
She leaned into their space and Shane scoffed quietly in amusement, her big searching eyes locked on Ilya with her nose twitching in rapid sniffs. Slowly, Ilya reached a hand out and scratched at her head, which she pressed into. Ilya smiled weakly at her, letting his hand drop.
“Sorry,” Ilya said again, voice layered in congestion.
“Please don’t be,” Shane said back. “I get it. It’s been a rough season.”
That was an understatement. Regretfully, Ilya lifted his head to look Shane in the eyes. They only held contact for a moment before Ilya felt embarrassed about how he must look, and flicked his gaze down. “It’s not because I lost.”
“We got farther than I ever thought possible, I’m happy we made it as far as we did.”
Ilya sniffed, gnawing at his lip. He didn’t have the words. In English, or in Russian. It was just all so much and so complicated, he didn’t know where to begin.
“This is just… a release, I think,” Shane began. “After everything that’s been happening, and all the stress. You’re letting it all go. Which is good,” he assured, dipping his head to force Ilya to meet his eyes again.
“It’s been stressful for you, too.” Ilya found himself saying.
“It’s not a competition.”
Ilya raised a brow, which caused Shane to roll his eyes. “Okay, I know most things between us is a competition, but this isn’t one of them.” Shane sighed and adjusted, somehow pulling Ilya even closer. “I wanna say some things. Will you listen?”
A small pit of dread formed in Ilya’s chest, but he pushed it down and nodded.
“This season is over now. Done. And you know what happens next?”
Shane smiled, and his voice turned reverent. “We’re gonna get married. And then we’re gonna have the most beautiful honeymoon, and then I’m going to play for Ottawa, and then we’re gonna win the cup together —“
“— and we’re going to create a fucking dynasty. And once we do, we’re gonna have kids, and more dogs, and it’s going to be the most amazing family. We are going to build a life together. And it all starts right now. Right here. With me and you. Alright?”
Ilya didn’t know how to respond to that, to the surety in Shane’s expression. Shane quickly became blurry, tears threatening to spill over again. Shane tilted his head in affection and cupped Ilya’s cheek. His next words were much softer, Ilya could barely hear him. “You are… the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”
Ilya huffed out a breath. “I’m a mess right now.”
“Sure you don’t.” Shane chuckled, rumbling deep from his chest. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Ilya’s. “Why don’t I take you to bed?”
“Okay. But you’ll have to help me up.”
And then we can continue to their canon conversation in bed where Ilya finally tells Shane in more depth about his depression. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
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