How i be reading smut wth a straight face in bed
Haven't we all?
💋❤️🔥😩🥵🫦👅💦 😐
Cosimo Galluzzi
noise dept.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
will byers stan first human second
DEAR READER

ellievsbear
$LAYYYTER

Love Begins
Cosmic Funnies
Three Goblin Art

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@theartofmadeline
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izzy's playlists!

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Andulka
Not today Justin
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@oreoqueen
How i be reading smut wth a straight face in bed
Haven't we all?
💋❤️🔥😩🥵🫦👅💦 😐
some of you are so fucking talented and you’re using it to spread joy and happiness around for free
magnificent creatures, the lot of you
I am freaking grateful to all of you. 🙏🏻🎀
Author's Note 1-2: Hi guys! Here's a little something i made while in the process of my very long Martin fic for all you lovely people to enjoy
Pairing: Choi San x male reader
Synopsis: A very drunk san asks you, his crush, to be his boyfriend. The thing is... you already are
Drunken Confessions
San was drunk. Way more drunk than he should’ve been honestly. He knows he shouldn’t have had that extra three one shot, but hey, they were celebrating, why not drink a little more than usual? What they were celebrating, San forgot about wenty minutes ago, but he knew they were celebrating something important. San had forgotten a lot of things that night. What they were celebrating, how much he had to drink, and who was the designated driver. But one thing he would not forget from that night? Your face. Your very beautiful face. You always looked beautiful honestly. You were so captivating, even from across the bar, and San had to talk to you, maybe with enough liquid courage he could ask you out.
You and him were friends, that’s all you two have ever been, but San had always wanted more. Always, always wanted more with you. So San made a plan. Operation make Y/N go out with me (he’s still workshopping the name). He walked over there with confidence. He was ready to ask out the man of his dreams. But, well the thing is, along with forgetting how much he drank, where his members had run off to, and why exactly he was here at the private bar, Choi San forgot one more very important, extremely tiny detail. He had a boyfriend. San had a boyfriend. How could one be so drunk they forgot they had a very loving boyfriend, one who loved them with all his heart.
As San walked over towards you, he finally spotted Hongjoong and ran to tell him that he was finally doing it, he was finally asking you out. All of his members had been hearing San’s whining for months about how pretty you were, how handsome, how much he wanted to take you out, and finally, they wouldn’t have to hear him cry about you anymore
“Hyung!” San stumbled a little into Hongjoong’s side. San couldn’t really hold his alcohol well, unlike Hongjoong, evident by the stumbling
“San! What’s up?” Hongjoong said, words a little slurred. Hongjoong was also drunk, but probably not as much as San, and considering how much Hongjoong saw San drink tonight, he’s surprised San isn’t sleeping in a booth by now. He was just about about to ask San another question, when the most confusing words came out of San’s mouth “I’m going to do it!” “Do… what exactly?” Hongjoong asked confused. San hadn’t told him of any special plans for the night, did he?
“I’m going to ask Y/N out! I’m going to man up and ask him to be my boyfriend, hopefully he says yes. Do you think he’ll say yes?” San said with hope in his voice. Hongjoong blinked at him for a minute. He was thinking, not about if you would say yes or not, but about the words he just heard. Because San had already asked you out… a year and a half ago. He blinked a couple times before grinning. Oh… this would be good. So, so so very good
“I do think San, we all do! We’ve been rooting for you for months! There’s not possible way Y/N will say no, he definitely likes you back” “You think so?” “Oh trust me, I know so” Hongjoong said with a knowing grin, taking a sip of his beer. San smiled, big, bright, and warm
“Thank you hyung, I’m going to go ask him. Right now.” “Go get ‘em tiger” Hongjoong said with a chuckle before taking out his phone to text you. Oh this would be good. Hongjoong saw you pick up your phone when you felt it buzz and laughed at your reaction to his first message.
⋆✴︎˚。⋆𖠚⋆✴︎˚。⋆
San didn't notice Hongjoong sitting a few feet away, his only focus was on you and you alone. He muttered to himself what he wanted to say to you, but the moment he actually got close enough to see your face, it all went out the door, you were just too handsome. You were sitting at the bar, drinking your third non-alcoholic beer. One of the nine of you here had to be responsible enough to drive home. They were celebrating their album release and being San’s boyfriend, you clearly came along. You just noticed very early on into the night you’d be the driver home. You looked up wen you noticed San was finally in your space and smiled
“Hi San, you coming to keep me company?” “Uh y-yeah? Company… company” San muttered and sat down in the bar stool next to you. You can do this San, you can do this.
“How’re you doing, having fun?” “Yeah, I am, yep!” “You okay, you look a little fidgety” You placed a hand on his arm and heard his breath hitch. San was a nervous wreck, and that didn’t help him at all
“I’m okay, promise. Guess I just drank too much” “I see. You want to hang out with me until it’s time to go home?” “Yeah, that… that sounds nice” “Cool” you took another sip of your beer, seeing if San would say something, when he didn’t you opened your mouth to speak, only to get interrupted
“So, San w-“ “Do you have a boyfriend Y/N?” “Ex-excuse me?” You were socked by his sudden outburst, but it was cute. He was trying to avoid eye contact, but you could see the desperation in them, how bad he wanted you to say no. You chuckled to yourself and shook your head
“Nope, why do you ask?” “I just… don’t know that much about you, and I want to know more” “Yeah?” “Yeah… and now that I know you don’t have a boyfriend… I-I-“ San took a breathe to calm his nerves “I was wondering if you’d let me take you on a date?” “A-A date?” You said in a voice full of faux surprise. San nodded, a blush on his cheeks, though you weren’t sure if that was from the alcohol or not
“Y-Yes Y/N, a date. I’ve… I’ve had feelings for you for a while, months upon months, honestly a year. I’ve… I’ve wanted to pursue you for a year but never had the courage to do so. You’re just so kind, and funny, and you’re very handsome too. I kept trying to push my feelings down, but they kept coming back. I couldn’t get you out of my head Y/N. I know in my heart that I love you. In my hear I know that you’re the only one for me. If you don’t feel the same, I hope that I didn’t ruin anything between us, but I just needed to tell you. You’re everything to me Y/N, everything.”
San finally stopped talking and shrunk in on himself when he saw you staring at him with your mouth open
“Y/N? D-did I ruin everything? I’m- I’m so-“ “No San, no! I just… that was beautiful, I loved it” And you weren’t lying about that, it’s just that San hadn’t said those things the first time he confessed. He was a stuttering mess through more than half of it, almost cried, and then five minutes later he finally confessed. He was so nervous too, his hands were shaking uncontrollably. You held them as he spoke, and he was squeezing them so tight you thought your fingers might break. Apparently drunk San had a little bit more confidence
“Really?” “Yes, really. I-I’d love to go out with you San” You grabbed his hand and saw his face go from the look of shock, to the biggest smile you had ever seen on this man’s face. You laughed, unable to keep it together
“What’s so funny?” “You’re just really cute right now San” “Maybe we can go out tomorrow?” “You’re going to have the worst hangover of your life tomorrow, we can go out the day after, okay?” “Yeah, okay! Thank you Y/N” “San-“
“No, really. Thank you for saying yes. I was preparing myself for a no, and just- thank you, really. This date’s going to mean the world to me, I swear” “C’mere you big softie” you said and hugged him tightly. San squeezed you back, eyes closed and breathing you in. You said yes. You actually said yes. He was going out on a date! With you! When you pulled back, San smiled at you, big and bright all over again and you couldn’t help it. You kissed his cheek and he gasped
“Oh my…” San said, handing raising slowly to touch his cheek “You okay San?” You asked with a small chuckle and he nodded “I think so? I don’t know if I’m dreaming or not” you took this opportunity to kiss the corner of his mouth
“Do you think you’re dreaming now?” “I hope not, but if it is, I don’t want to wake up” you laughed and grabbed his hand
“You’re cute when you’re flustered” “You’re cute all the time” San said before blushing after realising what he said. You laughed at his blush and he slightly pushed you.
“It’s not funny” “Maybe a little” “No it’s not” “Okay fine, I’m sorry for laughing” “Good” San said before letting out a yawn
“Oh, are you getting sleepy?” “A little bit”
“Maybe we should round everyone else up and go home, it is getting kind of late” “True” San said, eyes scanning the crowded place for any of his members
“Well…. I found Mingi” “Where?” “On a table” “Okay, yep, time to go home”
⋆✴︎˚。⋆𖠚⋆✴︎˚。⋆
San woke up that morning with indeed, the biggest hangover of his life, just like you said he would. The sun was too bright, the quiet room was too loud, and his head felt like someone had bashed it in with a sledge hammer. He rolled onto his left side with a groan, and got met with your sleeping face. San smiled to himself and threw an arm over your waist. He loved you so much it hurt. You were so kind and genuine, so loving, you cared about what he had to say always, you never made him feel small, you were there for him no matter what. You loved him with all your heart, that much was obvious, and San was happy he had the privilege of doing the same. For a year and a half, he got to love you with all his heart. You shifted in your sleep and opened your eyes. You blinked a couple times, trying to adjust your eyes, and smiled when you saw San’s face
“Hey you” you said, sleep still clinging to your voice. You brushed a few strands of hair away from San’s face and kissed him
“Mmm.. morning” “You look like shit” “I feel like shit. How much did I drink last night?” “More than you probably should have” “Yeah?” “Mhm” “This is why I don’t drink” he groaned and you laughed “We’ll work on it” you say before kissing his nose and getting up out the bed. Or, well, trying to. San clung to you, whining when you tried to move
“Where are you going? Why’re you leaving me?” “San… I need to pee” “Later” “No, not later, now” “You’re so mean” “Oh no, my body needs to do natural things, it’s the end of the world” you pushed San off of you and walked to the bathroom “It might as well be” San muttered into his pillow with a pout. You finally came out the bathroom and grabbed San’s arm
“Up, let’s start the day, everyone else is already awake” “I’m literally dying” San’s words came out muffled, his face still in the pillow “I’ll make you breakfast” you said and San’s head popped up immediately. Bad decision
“Oh ow ow ow ow” “….and aspirin” you said with a chuckle.
You walked out with San into the living room to see seven other idols all in a state of distress. Mingi was squinting at his phone, the brightness turned al most all the way down, Jongho was sitting on the couch, fading in and out of sleep, Hongjoong was taking a couple medicine tablets, Wooyoung was dead asleep on the floor, Seonghwa was attempting to stand and make breakfast, Yeosang had a finger on his temple, glaring at the blank TV, and Yunho had his face in the couch. You laughed at their distress, shaking your head at them. Mingi looked up and glared at you, while Yunho cursed at you from the couch
“You all look like shit”
“Shut the fuck up” “Jesus, you’re feisty this morning” “I will end you” “Yeah, right after that hangover fades babes” you ruffled his hair and went into the kitchen to go help Seonghwa with breakfast (and to avoid an angry Yunho chasing you down)
“Hwa” “Mmm?”
“Go sit down, I’ll make breakfast”
“You will?” “Yes, I will. Now sit” Seonghwa hugged you, muttering about how wonderful of a person you are, much to San’s distaste, before going to sit back down. San took a seat at the table and watched you cook. You felt his eyes on you and chuckled
“Something you need baby?” “You’re so pretty, how did I get so lucky?” “I’d wager I’m the lucky one. My boyfriend’s the sweetest, cutest, most gentle man to roam this earth, he loves me to pieces, never lets me feel like a burden, makes time for me despite his busy life, and did I mention he’s the cutest?” San’s cheeks burned at your words and he put his face in his hands
“That’s not fair, I was trying to be sweet” San said with a whine… and that’s when Hongjoong decided to ruin the sweet morning by reminding San of what happened last night. “You were being very sweet last night” You and San looked up to see Hongjoong standing in the doorway.
“Oh, was I? I don’t really remember a lot from last night” San said with a frown. You placed his breakfast in front of him alone with a glass of water and some painkillers.
“Eat, and you sit down” you pointed and Hongjoong and he grinned
“I’m just saying, you were very affectionate last night San, even asked somebody out” Hongjoong waited for the words to process in San’s head, cackling when he started violently choking on his water.
“I did what now?!”
San’s head snapped up to you, fear in his eyes. You were trying to hold in a smirk while you looked at him with faux annoyance. You had your hands on your hips and your lips pursed, focused entirely on trying not to laugh. San’s mouth was hung open while he continued to look at you. He didn’t even know what to say. He- HE asked someone else out?! There’s no way, there’s no possible way. He stood up from his seat, the chair scraping across the floor loudly
“Baby I-“
“Yah! Why’re you three so loud” That was a very tired Wooyoung, accompanied by the rest of ATEEZ. Seonghwa hit Hongjoong over the head and he flinched
“It’s too damn early for this Hongjoong. Quiet” “Why does San look like he’s halfway ready to get on his knees?” Mingi asked groggily, causing everyone to look at you and San
“May I ask what is going on here?” Yunho said with confusion and that’s when Hongjoong decided to speak. Again. Making the situation worse
"San asked somebody out on a date last night"
Cue six idols yelling at San while Hongjoong laughed at the trouble he just caused
“You did what?!” Wooyoung yelled, glaring daggers at him. Seonghwa rushed to your side to hug you, while scolding San
“You should be ashamed of yourself San, how dare you do that to your boyfriend!” He held your face in his hands, checking to make sure you weren’t crying.
“C’mon San, you- you’re better than this. At least I thought you were” Yunho said while shaking his head.
How could he be so cruel? Mingi’s mouth was agape. He never thought in a million years San would do something like this, he’s been obsessed with you for years!
“San-hyung… h-how- how could you do that to him?” Mingi’s heart hurt for you, and he went to comfort you along with Seonghwa. Although, it looked like he needed more comforting than you.
“Are you okay? You really don’t deserve that” Mingi said before hugging you tightly. He looked up at you with tears in his eyes and you couldn’t keep the facade up any longer, grabbing his face and wiping his tears
“Oh Mingi, no no no no, Hongjoong’s just joking. Well, he’s not joking about it entirely, he did ask someone out, but it was me. Don’t cry Mingi” You whispered to him and he blinked
“H-huh?” “Mingi, San asked me out again last night. Hongjoong just wanted to make fun of him, but I didn’t think he’d get everyone else involved. He recorded it and I was going to tell San myself. I really didn’t know he’d do all this.” you wiped his still falling tears, shushing him, trying to calm him down. Seonghwa, hearing the small conversation between you two, gasped. He looked at Hongjoong and glared
“You, are a horrible person Kim Hongjoong. A horrible horrible person” Hongjoong put his hands up, acting as if he did no wrong. Everyone else, still in the process of scolding San, turned to Hongjoong at Seonghwa’s words.
“What. Did. You Do?” Wooyoung asked, borderline demanded.
He was currently getting held back by a very concerned Yeosang. They all knew Wooyoung was the biggest supporter of you two. If Hongjoong had anything to do with you and San’s breakup, he was going to bury him six feet in the ground. San had been in love with you for years, when he finally asked you out, Wooyoung was the loudest supported of you two. If Hongjoong had deliberately caused your break up… oh he’d would suddenly go missing and never return. Never. Fucking. Return.
San looked at Hongjoong, tears in his eyes. There’s no way his friend would do that, have a part to play in breaking you two up? Never.
“Hongjoong-hyung, wh-what is Seonghwa saying?” Hongjoong, seeing that there was a pretty big chance of him turning up dead in the next fifteen minutes, finally confessed
“It was a joke…?” “A jo- A JOKE?! You don’t JOKE about those- unhand me! I want to give him a piece of my mind. Let me at him!” Wooyoung struggled against Yeosang’s hold. San looked between the two of you
“I don’t understand, what’s going on?” San sniffled and you cursed under your breath. San looked at you with a pout and you went to go wipe his tears as well.
“Okay, so, one, this was very mean of us, I understand if you’re mad. I didn’t think he’d get everyone involved in this. You asked me out again last night baby. You, obviously, forgot we were dating and asked me out while you were drunk. I promise you though, I didn’t know Hongjoong would get everyone involved in this. I was going to tell you later today, and especially not like this”
“Oh that’s.. that’s very.. well, at least he didn’t ask out a stranger” Yunho whispered and Jongho gave him a very unamused look. Wooyoung looked like he wanted to bury you at this point too and made that fact very known
“I should get you too! You know he’s sensitive, he’s-“ “You know damn well if it was you in Hongjoong’s place you’d be cackling like a witch” you interrupted and Wooyoung went completely silent, a very rare sight. He sucked his cheeks in and avoided eye contact with you and San.
“Unbelievable…” San muttered
“San, I’m so so so sorry baby” San gave you a small glare, but it looked more like a kitten trying to be angry
“This wasn’t funny” “No, it wasn’t, I’m sorry San. Do you forgive me?”
“I forgive you.. with exceptions” “Anything you want baby”
“You take me out for the next week ,anywhere I want, and you pay for everything.” “Jesus, he only works at a bookstore San” Mingi muttered
“It serves him right, making San cry like this” Wooyoung muttered and a few nods were seen around the room “I will say…” Yeosang started “this wasn’t the most kindest thing you’ve done to San” Seonghwa shook his head
“If you’re going to be making a joke, please make sure we’re all in on it Hongjoong. I was honesty about to set Y/N up with someone else”
“You wouldn’t dare” San said, his annoyance now completely focused on Seonghwa
“I sure was if you had actually gone and asked someone else out” “I say we burn them at the stake” “oKAY! That’s enough speaking for you” Yeosang said and pushed Wooyoung back into the living room.
“All I wanted was breakfast, not for my entire life to become a lie for the last five minutes” San muttered and you laughed
“Sorry San. Come here baby” you apologised and kissed him softly, earning a few gags from everyone around the kitchen
“Disgusting” “Get a room!” “My eyes!
“Is there at least a video?!” Wooyoung said from the living room and Hongjoong immediately went to show him
“Yes! You should’ve seen it in person, oh my god!” “Wait, let me see too!” Yunho said and everyone followed Hongjoong out to watch the video
“He recorded it too?” San said either wide eyes. Of course he did
“Yes…?” You said with a nervous smile and San scoffed “I hate you” “No you don’t” “No… I don’t” “See, you could never hate me” “I still want that week long date though. I’m thinking maybe that restaurant near your bookstore, and then there’s that little cafe we like, and we can’t forget that dessert shop and-“ “Eat the rest of your now very cold food before making plans to drain my wallet” “Serves you right, just like Wooyoung said” “The same Wooyoung who is laughing at you currently?” San sucked on his teeth and took a bite of his food “I don’t like any of you honestly” “We love you too San”
“Mmhm… still don't like you”
"You hate like me as much as you hate mint chocolate chip ice cream, don't play"
“If you keep talking, I’m adding onto your punishment” “Oh no… I’m being forced to spend a week with you” “You can’t kiss me the entire week either
“Say you’re joking or you’re getting smothered” “Made me cry and you’re threatening to kill me? What type of boyfriend are you?” “A very serious one, say you’re joking” “Fine, fine, I’m joking… you’re so cute when you get violent though” San said and grabbed your face to give you a kiss. Maybe he was upset with Hongjoong, but he could never get mad at you.
(Even if this was your fault...)
⋆✴︎˚。⋆𖠚⋆✴︎˚。⋆
Author's note 1-2: Hope you guys enjoyed it, promise that my martin fic will be posted soon. I kinda don't like the ending of this one, but don't want to rewrite it. I wrote it with a horrible headache (i bumped my head on my bed last night and the pain still hasn't gone away) so i'll just blame it on that ¯\_ (ᵕ—ᴗ—)_/¯
Everyone make sure to eat at least a little something and drink some water! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
Soooooooo cute 🎀
BTS on Hot Ones!
I love Hobi's ulululululululululu 😭🤣🤣
little baker hard at work!!
This is just so KGSJFSTJDGJDJTDJTDTJSTJSTJDK
SVSSS AU/fic prompt where in the three years LBH is away SQQ has accidentally wife-beamed basically the entire cultivation world.
While he and SQH were getting mushroom bodies ready kept stumbling into other cultivator groups who see widow mode SQQ who keeps stumbling into and barely avoiding certain wife plots and all just smitten.
All the different sects are trying to arrange marries or at least get permission to start courting him.
YQY is going grey pulling hair out because NO ONE DESERVES XIAO-JIU and figuring out the politest way to tell all of them to FUCK OFF.
LQG is constantly around peak and has drop kicked multiple suitors off the mountain.
LPM is trying to kidnap him, Huan hua have tried to steal him multiple times.
SQQ has zero fucking clue this is happening. He's just sitting at sword mount grieving not noticing the fucking brawl happening on his peak.
When LBH comes back he very quickly hears that his list of rivals has grown exponentially.
Slow plans are out the window he literally shows up and declares he's going to marry SQQ only with wording SQQ thinks LBH has speed-run and just declared war in cultivation world.
SQQ: oh god oh shit oh fuck Binghe is so angry at me that he decided to not only speed-run abyss but skip the entire Huan hua and trial arcs he must hate me so much!
While Binghe is just trying to kick the cultivation world asses so he can get to his Shizun.
He's also constantly on alert because Shizun keeps stumbling into situations (wife plots) and everyone is waiting for a chance to marry SQQ
SQQ: the entire world hates the scum villain everyone would be glad to get rid of me
Everyone:... if given the chance to marry that man I would kill everyone in this room
Loving this so much 😭😭🤣
If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.
Bashful Blushy Princess ♡
My babygirl 🎀
where are the uquizzes. we as a society need to bring the uquizzes back. we need the uquiz renaissance
got handed this cutieful which snoopy are you uquiz by @froggyjacket and this is what I got. everyone please go take it for some whimsy and a good time https://uquiz.com/quiz/W0n7Ix/which-snoopy-are-you
REBLOG THIS TO GIVE THE PERSON YOU REBLOGGED THIS FROM A GOLD STAR BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN STELLAR TODAY AND THEY DESERVE IT ⭐️
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
life’s too short to be embarrassed you read x reader fan fiction. live ur life and date as many imaginary boys as u want
reblog to give somebody a fucking hug because we are all struggling to get through it. solidarity in this tough ass world.
Gotta get their take too 🤓☝🏻
Witchcraft, Wisdom, Death...
Charity, compassion, wisdom
yay!! That sounds good actually
reach, poet, sue
I’m gonna have one hell of a year it seems
manipulation, money, revolution
either something very good or very bad is gonna happen
friendship, slight, money
what does this mean--
I got:
Naked, Marijuana, Ritual
Am I-
Am I joining a cult?
subversion, friendship…orgies.
…I’m a 43 year old virgin (only 30% - 50% by choice on any given day, and it’s not morally founded)—WHAT DOES DIS MEAN? XD
Friendship, revolution, happiness. Holy shit
Introversion
Cleverness
Mead
Blackmail 😃 Compassion 🫠 Clever 👁
Uhm... idk..
nasa just reported that they found a new species. this is him.
He looks so fine here 🫠
Happy international Give Up! Day to all who celebrate ✊ 210521
Fr 💯