i am so absolutely utterly scared that my insane grandfather in his 80s who runs miles every morning is going to leave me a bird in his will and i am especially scared he is going to leave me a large cockatoo named "captain hook". hook has been trying to make me his child bride since i was like 6 years old and every time i see him again which has only been a couple times with decades in between hook is like "you. it's always been you. ever since you were born i've known we were meant to be" captain hook you are a bird and i am a LESBIAN and i don't WANT an eternal sentinel captain HOOK!!!!!!!
WAS TOLD AT CHRISTMAS DINNER THAT THIS IS INDEED REAL, AND THAT I AM IN THE WILL TO RECIEVE THE BIRD!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER 👏 STOP 👏 BEINGSCARED 👏
okay well that's actually even worse than i thought thank you DAD
























