Well Shit

I'm not gonna stop talking about dracula from now lmao

[feraligatr]

[charlieism]

guillermo de la cruz is literally THE most character of all time. hes gay. hes latino. hes fat. hes badass. hes a serial killer. hes a mamas boy. hes insane. hes the most normal one here. hes by birth and lineage a vampire killer. hes spent 13 years trying to become a vampire. hes my best friend hes my pal, my homeboy, my rotten soldier, hes my sweet cheese my good time boy

[palant1r]

what did Europeans even do before google maps.

how did y'all find your streets

[palant1r]

me: please....please just put signs on them...

The Dublin street layout engineer I've trapped in my basement: if you aren't smart enough to solve my Riddles Three and find the ancient cornerstone, older than your fucking country, upon which I've etched a tiny cipher that, when cracked, reveals what street you're on, then you shouldn't be in fucking Ireland [spits out blood]

Me: I DIDNT EVEN HIT YOU. WHERE DID YOU GET THE BLOOD

[eruditetyro]

There’s a city in Germany, Mannheim, where the city center is laid out on a grid, but instead of naming the roads they named the blocks. So your grocery store might be on block L5. and that refers to, like, the square on the grid paper where the building is, rather than the street on which the building is.

Which like, ok fine. you’d assume the numbers go in order one way, and the letters go in order perpendicular to that.

They do not do that.

[evilkitten3]

wh. what do they do

[shadytail]

We also figured out—the hard way—that the ancients probably cut each layer of linen to the proper shape before gluing them together. For our first linothorax, we glued together 15 layers of linen to form a one centimeter-thick slab, and then tried to cut out the required shape. Large shears were defeated; bolt cutters failed. The only way we were ultimately able to cut the laminated linen slab was with an electric saw equipped with a blade for cutting metal. At least this confirmed our suspicion that linen armor would have been extremely tough. We also found out that linen stiffened with rabbit glue strikes dogs as in irresistibly tasty rabbit-flavored chew toy, and that our Labrador retriever should not be left alone with our research project.

[krakenartificer]

I love this in every way possible. What is it from? Where can I read more?

[blackcatphysics]

The pitfalls of experimental archaeology and puppies.

[shrewreadings]

link to source:

“Unraveling the Linothorax Mystery, or how Linen Armor Came to Dominate our Lives.”

https://jhupress.wordpress.com/2013/04/24/unraveling-the-linothorax-mystery-or-how-linen-armor-came-to-dominate-our-lives/

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

holy shit read the article. it’s short but wild

[strangestcase]

MAD SCIENTIST GROUP CHAT

xX_modernprometheus_Xx

this creature looks so spooky you guys

😱5 🫢10 😔6

DualityOfJekyll

Testing a potion on myself tonight, wish me luck

🧪20 👀7 🫣11

griffin666☀️

fuckers found out I’m the invisible man

😭8 🫥2

re-ANIMEator

I’m transgender ✌️

🏳️‍⚧️50 T 1 R 1 🅰️ 1 N 1 S 1

Ethics Board Kevin

Hello I’m Kevin from the ethics board

🥸34 🤬41💥22 🤡45

[lontra-ohiensis]

still not over how much I love this

[tenporcupinesinnertrenchcoat]

Posts that would kill a peasant from 1173

[imjustusingthistolikeartists]

Mephistopheles and Margaretta, A Double Statue - medium: sculpture, sycamore wood, sculptor unknown, 19th century. Currently located in the Salar Jung Museum in Hyderabad, India.

[weaselle]

i’ve reblogged posts featuring these two separately, but they go great together

[superpunch2]

[have--not-deactivated20160117]

i love this photo because at first you think that she was going to get married but instead her husband to be left her, or something like that. but actually its quite the opposite. i clicked on the source and it brought me to an article explaining the story behind this photo, and shes not crying, shes hungover. her and her husband went to a football game on their wedding day, and got extremely drunk and partied all night. they took the subway home because they couldn’t drive. so no, its not a sad heartbreaking story, its a crazy joyful one. which in my opinion makes the picture even more amazing.

[cardcaptorr]

CAN PEOPLE PLEASE REBLOG THE PIC WITH THIS CAPTION^ AND NOT THE ONE WHERE EVERYONE IS SAD AND ARE LIKE “POOR GIRL GOD BLESS”

[catchaspark]

According to Know Your Meme, on August 18th, 2005, Erwin Beekveld brought forth this work into the world. HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY, THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD.

[timefortigers]

sheds a single tear

[catchaspark]

every august 18th my notifications break and i go, fuck, tumblr has failed me once again, but it hasn’t. it hasn’t failed me. it’s just the taking the hobbits to isengard-iversary. happy 12 years

[gholateg]

Lil Early, but fuck it! I’m not missing it this year.

[prokopetz]

My cats have very different communication styles when they urgently want something. One of them stares, and the other one yells, and if staring isn’t having the desired results, the staring cat will go and fetch the yelling cat to yell on her behalf.

[coolhotdad]

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

[isabellaofparma]

‘don’t you want your favourite character to be happy???’ no? i want my favourite character to be interesting. i want me to be happy. which sometimes involves my favourite character being in exquisite agony

[saltmalkin]

stray

[lewdhat]

Also love the idea of Jonathan showing up at this train station looking deranged and yelling incomprehensibly and everyone being like “oh God he’s English… just give him a ticket for as far away as possible.”

[crazy-brazilian]

[funnytwittertweets]

[mhalachai]

good news! your stomach is super dumb! it can’t tell who chewed your food, and if you shove three cups of Qdoba salsa down your throat all your guts are going to see is a boatload of potassium and vitamin A/C!

[thesealfriend]

also this isn’t even some lifehack to trick your brain this is literally how food works, diet/ED and clean-eating culture has fucked us all up and made us believe that fruits and veggies only count if they’re pure, unadulterated & bland, and that by having them with “”“unhealthy”“” things like cheese and salt and bread (or even by blending them together to make them tasty) you’re negating every positive health effect they have - this is bullshit!!! salsa and guac are fruit and veg, and having well-seasoned extremely nutrition-filled veggie-bombs alongside other necessary parts of our diet like dairy fats and carbohydrates is how food is Supposed To Work!!!

[hypexion]

Wilhelmina Murray, August 12th: Still anxious about Johnathan. Where could he be? :(

Sister Agatha, August 12th: We found your fiancé. Everybody likes him, although he’s in a bit of a state. Make sure he never does anything exciting for the rest of his life.

[p0cill0]

Jonathan: *lives the most horrific and traumatic experience known to humankind and manages to escape with barely his life*

Also Jonathan: Sister Agatha, please write my boss that I was a good boy™ and my job was done, but I'm a tiny bit tired so I will rest here for a while (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)