Let me tell you about how funny think I am.

white cis guy who likes video games, star wars, and cowboys. tall but not tall enough for it to be like super notable, but still tall enough to talk about how tall i am. I'm 6'3 btw. Y'know, just in case you were wondering. I hear women like tall guys. Haha. You should let me DM you.

[cow-inthe-closet]

friend whos always planning everything: hey guys lets do something this week!! when are you all available?

friend whos always available: i can do whenever

friend whos constantly busy: im sorry i have work and then school and then the labyrinth and then more work :( i can do tuesday at 3:00 am for five minutes tho

friend with the randomly generated sleep schedule: (no response)

friend who went missing in the woods behind their house 12 years ago and hasn't been heard from since: (no response)

friend whos really into genshin impact: does anyone want to play genshin impact

[lokaror]

every mercenary company has got that guy who insists he should fight with two daggers... bro get back in formation and pick up your pike

[angelicguy]

i got feudal alcohol syndrome pass da mead

[nasfera2]

I wish Americans fucked with more foreign music. You don’t have to know the language to appreciate a good record. Folks in other countries listen to our music and don’t speak a lick of english. Music needs no translator

[liltimmys]

yall wont trick me into listening to kpop

[emily84]

You can try Radiooooo.com - The Musical Time Machine!!

choose a country, pick a decade, and GO!!

you’ll get an endless streaming of songs (ad free!).

I personally found myself loving 1970s Ghana, Senegal and Cote d’Ivoire! Also 1920s and 1970s Japan for sure! Cambodian music: spectacular. Love Armenia and Mali as well. I’ve been told 70s Germany is weird and 30s Algeria is cool but I haven’t gotten around to those yet. Italy’s 1960s is bomb ofc but I’m biased ;)

[randomslasher]

This is the best website anyone has ever shared.

[qelflinq]

Good evening ladies where u want to go

[unregistered-hypercam2-deactiva]

the evolution here is also a solid contender for meme of the year 2019

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

hey.. two people were asking about you… so i gave them your address and phone number… their names were Skeletal Warrior and Skeletal Ice Mage

[bshoujo]

DOROHEDORO SEASON 1 (2020)

[bonesbeetle]

eating a filling meal with like protien & vegetables actuallyu makes you feel a lot better than just a bunch of snacks has anyone tried this before

[mangorangez]

Drinking your favorite fruit juice while eating a filling protein/carb/veggie meal is straight up foodgasmic please give it a try.

I love blending berries and fruit jam into my apple juice in particular. But juice straight from the container works too.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

I like how you typed about fruit and veggies in a delightful green color

[thirdtofifth]

Fhorge Large monstrosity (monstrosity), unaligned Armor Class 16 (natural armor) Hit Points 147 (14d10 + 70) Speed 40 ft. Str 24, Dex 10, Con 21, Int 2, Wis 15, Cha 10 Senses passive Perception 12 Languages - Challenge 9 (5000 XP) Charge. If the fhorge moves at least 20 feet straight toward a target and then hits it with a tusk attack on the same turn, the target takes an extra 24 (7d6) piercing damage. Keen Smell. The fhorge has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell. Relentless (Recharges After A Short Or Long Rest). If the fhorge takes 25 damage or less that would reduce it to 0 hit points, it is reduced to 1 hit point instead. Actions Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 20 (3d8+7) piercing damage. If the target is a Large or smaller creature, it is grappled (escape DC 19). Until this grapple ends, the fhorge can't use its bite. Worry. One target grappled by the fhorge must succeed on a DC 19 Constitution saving throw or take 29 (5d8+7) bludgeoning damage and 29 (5d8+7) piercing damage.

These dread beasts roam the plains of the Outlands, finding food where they can. Some can be found on the more remote and exotic savannahs of the Material Plane, in herds of five to eight individuals. They can be quite aggressive if provoked. Fhorges stand around 5 feet tall at the shoulder and weigh almost 800 pounds.

Originally from the Fiend Folio.

[frogribbit]

i wish people would stop romanticizing not eating breakfast and not getting enough sleep and being dependent on coffee to function and always being in a bad mood and treating yourself poorly because that behavior is very unhealthy for you

[flameraven]

He’s right.

[dogwoodbite]

[ID: manga panel of Laios Touden from Dungeon Meshi yelling “We’ve been eating three square meals a day and getting plenty of sleep…” “And that makes us more serious about this than you are!!” /End ID]

[sundere1181]

I’m LITERALLY going insane

[wizardshark]

this video is so accurate that im having flashbacks to memories of movies that never existed

[junk-thrillz]

Everyone in the notes not realizing is making me feel insane. Guys - this entire TikTok is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fanfiction. The OP of this post (as in the person who uploaded this to Tumblr) has a TMNT profile picture. I’ve never seen a more expertly crafted video.

All of the names are names of TMNT characters. They’re all dressed like their TMNT counterparts too, to the point where it feels like actually I’m looking at human designs for all the turtles. (The exception to this is Raph, or ‘Ralph’, but that makes sense considering that little reveal about him at the end). “Wait... this guy knows school” is a reference to the fact they’re all mutant turtles that never went to public school. But that’s not the only thing, because it so painfully obvious that the creator of this TikTok watched the 2012 cartoon specifically.

It’s completely insane. They all act like and interact with each other exactly like how they do in the ‘12 cartoon. It’s every little detail. Casey being a teenage delinquent. Donnie’s skepticism of Casey. The way everyone ELSE operates around Casey. It’s everything. I keep noticing new things every time I watch this video. Mikey’s the most obvious example of this, but I think the creator might be changing the way he talks to reflect Leo’s voice actor(s) too.

This entire video is a Spy AU fanfiction of TMNT 2012 with ridiculously high production quality. It fits so perfectly that it literally shouldn’t be able to be anything else. And YET - it’s so expertly crafted so as to make it indiscernible from any other stock Disney spy movie. This is so impressive it borders on manic.

I’m sure someone else has already pointed this out, but people. The guy who made the TikTok has EVERYONE FOOLED AND IT’S DRIVING ME UP!! THE!! WALL!!!!

[tokkibean]

i do not “delete sentences” when they start “hindering the plot” i COPY PASTE THEM into a SEPARATE DOC made just for keeping all my USELESS LINES that i will also NEVER USE so therefore i should JUST DELETE THEM but i DONT because id FEEL BAD if i did

[harpyharpyharpy]

You don't actually have to kill your darlings. You can just put them in the oubliette #myoubliette

[anocana]

i respect ppl who think frodo & sam were sucking & fucking constantly when the narrator wasn't looking. but personally i think the furthest they went was an awkward attempt at mutual handjobs one night in mordor which started as sam trying to do something anything that'd make frodo feel good & frodo insisted on doing it for sam too & sam closed his eyes & tried to imagine it was rosie cotton while frodo tried to remember the shire or focus on the texture of sam's rough hand or the unyielding heat in his own grip or think about anything other than the great burning wheel & neither of them succeeded. & frodo never got fully hard & eventually pushed sam's hand away but kept going & sam felt like he had failed & part of him wanted to push frodo's hand away too but instead he came harder than he had ever in his life & they never talked about it again

[archipithecus]

@the-warlock-syndicate

#gollum on the cuck rock

[scribeherself]

people will say “they’re only friends” and then show me two people who would crawl through broken glass to hear the other laugh once. two people who have memorized each other’s coffee orders, fears, childhood stories, and emergency contacts. two people who would haunt each other’s houses as ghosts. be serious.

[scribeherself]

Just an FYI—the original intention of this post was to challenge the way people say only friends, as though friendship is somehow lesser than other forms of love. As if being deeply known, cherished, and chosen by another person could ever be a small thing. Normalize profound platonic love. Some of the most fulfilling, transformative, and enduring relationships we will ever have are friendships. 🫶🏼

[angelicguy]

its so fucked that people will be like "yeah i stopped smoking weed because it made me feel like everything was fine, which made me do less" like ok so your primary motivator was fear.

[itsbilby]

i stopped because it made me think i had mind control powers and i started seeing peoples tattoos as spiders crawling on them

[angelicguy]

You did have those powers and you lost them permanently because of your weaknesses

[prokopetz]

Look, I'm a big fan of genre emulation as a design goal in tabletop RPGs, and that's definitely an area where a lot of popular games could stand for some rigorous criticism, but we're not going to get anywhere if we keep pretending that the entire canon of Western fantasy fiction is functionally identical to The Lord of the Rings. If I see an analysis of Dungeons & Dragons through the lens of genre emulation that doesn't even mention fucking Conan the Barbarian – much less any more recent sword and sorcery media – I'm going to assume there's nothing of value here, and I've never been wrong yet.