LOL, ARE YOU A NINJA?
LOL NO I'M A MEXICAN WRESTLER
Of course I'm a ninja, you idiot.
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@orochimartyrdom
LOL, ARE YOU A NINJA?
LOL NO I'M A MEXICAN WRESTLER
Of course I'm a ninja, you idiot.
Tedious Relocation
Being constantly on the move used to be something he enjoyed. Going from anywhere to anywhere always heralded new things to see and new people to pick apart. Orochimaru had never quite felt what others would consider âat home' much of anywhere, even knowing every crevice of Konohagakure. No one spot ever held more comfort for him than any other place he'd have to rest his head.
But now it seemed to be something tedious. Now he was wandering freely at his own leisure less and less. Orochi found himself enjoying the time he got to sit in one spot, wretched or decadent as it may be. Travel for work is always less enjoyable than travel for fun. There was a broad range of what the Snake Sannin considered fun. A lot of it would not fall under any one else's definition of the word. Perhaps it was just psychosomatic: once something you enjoyed was on a fixed schedule it was less enjoyable. Perhaps it was just the reasons. Perhaps it was both.
A logical security measure, migrating from base to base. It worked incredibly well so far. Every now and then one of his bases, functional or abandoned, was stumbled upon by other countryâs authorities and of course he himself was never there. At this rate no one would ever catch him at home, so to speak. Even if they did it was easy enough to slip out the back and push the self destruct button.
It was fun, being himself.Â
Orochimaru was just trying to enjoy being outside at the time being. He was by himself this time. His high profile subordinates were accompanying the caravan traveling north to the outermost edges of Fire Country & Rain. Sometimes heâd have his bodyguards with him but sometimes, like today, theyâd stay with the caravan which took a different path.
That caravan itself was of minimal importance. It was mainly to distract anyone bright enough to figure out the serpent was on the move and direct them away from their actual target. Stationing his people around it made it much more convincing whilst he himself took a different, much more obscure route. He judged arriving at his destination in the dead hours of the impending night.
Orochi eyed the dark clouds in the distance trying to pour themselves over the mountain range. âA little rain never hurt anyone.â he mused as he continued to weave through the trees with a well-practiced effortless elegance.
To Delight In :: Orochimaru and Tsunade
 A blonde brow quirked at his statement. Adding more Senju to the line up? The hell was he talking about now? Letting out a cough at the statement she shook her head, watching him pick up the ANBU cloak. âOh yes, only for espionage.â She rolled her eyes at the statement of the male, before bringing the fingers for a transformation jutsu in front of her. âVery good, Orochimaru for that wonderful deduction.â She catily replied.Â
"Transform." She mumbled before turning into a woman with unruly wild red hair that went down her back, with a large buxom. Tsunade liked having them large okay? She would partly blame Jiraiya for that. He always use to call her âflat-chestâ so in a way it was getting back at him. She also always wanted to be a red head. Her outfit was a simple black yukata with a silver sword on the back. Just in case. She couldnât blow her cover with her fistsâbut she was just as good with a sword and not a lot of people knew that.
She listened to him as the smoke cleared and noticed the rope was very large. For some reason it didnât look like that would fit on the males thin frameâbut she knew it did, and that he wore it with pride. Letting out a small humpf at what seemed to be him chiding her she pouted her full lips.Â
"Yes. I know this. Remember, I traveled all over the world as well Orochimaru." She walked over to her door and stood by it waiting. "I know this little bar thatâs a pretty private place." Emerald hues slid over to him, "Câmon now Chi." The name that came out was one from their old espionage days, where they couldnât call each other by their names. Orochimaru refused to be called anything other than his name and she had settled it by making it a nickname that came from his name.Â
As she would walk next to the male, she pondered if she was doing the right thing. Drinking with a wanted criminal. That was the logic of her mind. But then another part of her mind argued that it would be fine. It was Orochimaru. He was her friend. âSo what you drink nowadays?âÂ
Orochimaru couldn't help but have this subtle grin etched on his face. Their conversations have always been catty and snide, it was just the way they spoke. It was dangerously easy to slip back into an old skin, to forget the past decade in favor of the previous four. Surely it was just as dangerous for both of them to get comfortable but she didn't need to know that about him.
He chuckled near inaudibly to himself when Tsunade henge'd into a red headed woman for disguise. He knew his share of red headed women and they all had similarly fiery dispositions. He watched her from beneath the hood that enveloped much of his face. H e took notice of her attire, a sword glinting in the moon light across her back. Good. Although he wasn't aware Tsu knew much swordplay,
As his train of thought was momentarily drifting she pulled him back to reality.
"Chi."
He shook his head as if to berate her for such a dated, childish reference even as he grinned about it. Despite this he followed at her side in an almost obedient manner.Â
"What am I drinking nowadays? Any poison within reach, really. But sweet sake is always a staple, as I'd suspect you agree." Was all he said. A drink sounded very nice.
To Delight In :: Orochimaru and Tsunade
 âPaper can be plenty important though Orochimaru. We read words on paper, we write on paper. Without information at hand like that, we wouldnât be nearly as smart as we are. We wouldnât know how to do basic of things. If your books burned, wouldnât you not be pleased? Would you set your information on fire?â She idly asked as she studied him. She knew he loved his books, he always had. If she had to put a wager on it, heâd cry if he lost them. Her lips turned into a small smile as the thought passed through her head.Â
She smirked at the bow before shaking her head. âAlways the gentleman, Orochimaru.â She worried briefly about the decision before making her way to him. This would undoubtedly end badly for both of them. Her probably either breaking down or breaking his faceâ-again. She smiled sadly as she thought about everyone as they passed through her head and decided that yes, tonight would be a good night to get drunk.
A quick roll of her eyes, she snorted at him. âYes its my village but you are a wanted criminal Orochimaru. And Iâm the Hokage. You think weâd get any peace if we step out as ourselves? I think not. My Anbu would be on you faster than anything and the townspeople would be on me faster than my Anbu on you.â She explained with a brief wave of her hand before looking at his bow.Â
A quick shake of head, she chuckled to herself. âWhy do you have that rope anyways? I always wondered about that.âÂ
"I suppose I ought to respect your position, hm, Princess? Adding more Senju to the line up..." Orochimaru trailed off as he wandered across her office as if it were his own.He plucked an ANBU cloak hanging like something dead off of a rack in the corner.Â
"I disguise myself only for espionage." He noted in a voice that was a little too cheerful for the topic. His vanity, it was an interesting thing. He loved himself and he had somehow come to love that everyone else loved to hate him. It hadn't always been that way. "But I suppose we can't have your townsfolk go mad with panic and wild accusations."
He continued to chatter idly as he slid the heavy rope from his hips. He bent at the waist to pick it up from the floor in a motion that was fluid and almost feminine. Now that it was not on his person it looked very large and daunting in his thin hands. Dismissing the rope in a puff of smoke, he glanced up at the woman in company.
"The Rice country is quite destitute. Paying for something as frivolous as belts when you cannot eat is inopportune. They had been using rope for centuries and it had sort of evolved into something different over time."
"Culture is actually quite fascinating, Tsuande-hime." He chided as he shrugged on the discarded ANBU cloak. He shrugged at her in a manner that was almost mocking as he enshrouded himself in the hood, the pale planes of his face lost in the ensuing shadows.
Dreadfully Bored
Dreadfully bored.
This month had been dreadfully boring.Â
At this point he would have appreciated an experiment to combust just to have something to do. One can only catalog so many notes before getting restless.
And that was about the point Orochimaru set off a set of paper tags in a dense suburb of Konohakagure. They produced a loud startling explosion but appeared to do nothing else.
Actually he had been working on getting certain snake venoms into aerosol form. The nuerotoxic kinds were the only ones that took to coating mucous membranes and seeping into the bloodstream to slowly paralyze a person. It was temporary but he wasn't sure how temporary.
Now sounds like a good time to find out.Â
Going to harass Nara & Uzumaki tomorrow for no good reason other than to liven up their dashboards. This is the expression I am wearing at the prospect
Zanzibar :: Setsuko & Orochimaru
 Setsuko stormed angrily through the forest, clutching her staff weapon at her side with her teeth grit and temper fuming. Sheâd gotten into a rather heated debate with her brother, Makoto, per the norm. On most occasions, however, these spats were due to mere fits over Hideki, training, or any variety of pointless things.
Today, however, theyâd gone round and round about something even more idiotic: Setsukoâs time schedule. After returning home the previous night at a late hour, having been training through the late evening, Makoto heavily nagged her, demanding that she let him know when sheâd be late. Setsuko protested heavily against this, arguing that she was not only a chunnin, but also more than capable of controlling her own bedtimes, thank you very much. The whole parenting act had suited her as a child, but sheâd grown tired of it in recent years.
Suddenly, Setsuko stopped abruptly in her tracks. A rustle of bushes behind her startled her into running forward and spinning around on her heel, shaking out her staff weapon into its full length with a, âShow yourself!â
The creature uttered a small yelp of surprise and cowered away from her. Setsuko lowered her weapon, frowning. It was just an animal. A wolf, in factâwhich just so happened to be her favorite animal. However, it became abundantly clear, as she looked it over, that it was no ordinary wolf. NoâŚits matted fur gleamed a pale, bright blue color, spiked abnormally sharp. Its claws were elongated to twice the size of a normal wolf, and its physique was incredibly thin, emaciated even. She could count every single one of its ribs.
âOh,â she said, feeling rather silly as she snapped her staff back into a hand-sized roll, which she re-clipped to her thigh. She shrugged her long, winter jacket closer around her shoulders, giving off the impression that the wind actually affected her. âYou okay, boy? Girl?â
Setsuko knelt down and extended her hand to the creature, but it recoiled away, as though she had attacked it. âEasy. I wonât hurt you,â she assured it, edging closer to the wolf on her hands and knees. She dug in her jacket pocket, searching, and withdrew a half-eaten rice ball. No, that wouldnât doâŚwolves needed meat. Maybe she could bring it back to the village? Makoto would have a heart attack for sure, but she couldnât just leave the poor thing out here to starveâŚ
âWhat made you like this, huh?â Setsuko asked, mainly to herself as she scooted closer to the wolf. Last time she checked, there werenât any naturally-blue wolves, so it must have been messed with somehowâŚa laboratory experiment, perhaps? âYou thirsty?â
The wolf had initially begun baring its fangs at her the closer she drew, but its lip fell back into place as she began making hand signs. Muttering under her breath, Setsuko conjured up a wave of fresh snow from her icy body, allowing it to settle in clumps at her feet. She scooped up a handful and breathed her warm breath on it, melting the substance into water before holding it out in her gloved hand, smiling. âGo on,â she offered.
All at once, Setsuko was keenly aware of the uneasy feeling one had when one was being watched. She glanced uncertainly from side to side, neglecting the fact that the wolf was now slinking over to her to investigate the water in her cupped hand. She was probably just on-edge after her fight with Makoto, but Setsuko couldnât help but wonder if she and the wolf were not aloneâŚ
As he sit perched like some sort of gargoyle reflecting on the tragic beauty of this creature he became aware of someone approaching. His head swiveled to the side to see a young girl making her way through the trees. He really ought to be more on guard but this girl seemed angry. Â He remained motionless and observed this curiously as she was heading directly towards the wolf.
While the inevitable meeting took place Orochimaru looked the girl over trying to discern where she hailed from. She didn't have the build or complexion necessarily native to the Fire country. His tongue subconsciously flicked from between his lips. She hadn't much of a heat signature.
The serpent hung about in the branches observing. His attention went back to the wolf he'd now mentally dubbed Zanzibar. The pitiful creature was frightened and cowered even as it tried to bare its teeth. This girl was sympathetic to its plight. While he understood the types of people that tended to care for animals as if they were people, Jugo was mostly right about it, he was a little surprised that this fragile looking girl approached the creature. A normal wolf perhaps if she were brave but certainly not the state of this one: everything about it now sharp and unnatural.Â
The girl summoned snow to give the wolf water and serpent smiled. From Yukigakure. He never got many opportunities to interact with the denizens of the Village hidden in the Snow at his own fault. He was not fond of the cold whatsoever and always made excuses not to travel through the area unless necessary. Orochimaru swooped down upon the girl and the animal, landing next to them and standing as if he had been in view the whole time.
The wolf started from drinking from this girl's hands and flattened itself to the ground. Orochimaru extended a greeting in an obsequious bow. He brazenly pat the creature's head. The crystal fur made a quiet chiming noise upon impact. The wolf merely attempted to scoot into the ground, nervous eyes darting from human to human(snake).
"Good afternoon, dear, I see you've met Zanzibar."
âDid you miss me?â
To Delight In :: Orochimaru and Tsunade
 She stared at Orochimaru, pink lips formed in a pout. She didnât know why he enjoyed riling her up so much. He must know that itâs not good for her blood pressure. She watch him sit, god-like and she couldnât help but a small snort come from her. Orochimaru was always the kind to take care of his things, including himself. Which was good, since a lot of people didnât take care of themselves. Tsunade didnât understand why people refused to keep clean and orderly. She wasnât exactly the best at keeping up appearances, but she woke up each morning, put on make up, and went to work with clean clothes and brushed hair.Â
She threaded her fingers together, laying her chin on them studying the male. He never told her why he left âher mouth drew together in a tight line â and that irritated her. To no ends. But in the end, they had all left hadnât they? Giving everything up for a village who didnât care, who took granted of those feelings. Her thumb twitched ready to make a fist. Before she changed her mind. She didnât want to even think about that right now.Â
Tsunade smirked at him. âWell of course, from snakes slithering in and about, to leaders of cults trying to destroy us, to our own people attacking from the inside.â She watched him throw the book into the fire place and hit her head on the table. âWhy are you throwing everything into the fireplace, Orochii? Some things may be important you know~â. She raised a brow and then shrugged.Â
âI can always go for a drink. Especially if you are paying.â She grinned at him, standing up from her desk and throwing her hatori on over her sleeveless shirt. âShall we henge?âÂ
Orochimaru had a look on his face that came across as distant. A small smile sat tentatively on his lips as the flames danced in his already bright eyes. He was not being pyromanic. If anything he was amused at this situation he'd gotten himself into. His amusement did not falter when she dragged out the syllable on the nickname that so readily left Tsunade's mouth.
"Sometimes you should step back and think about how important paper is as compared to how important it should be." he mused, that lilt returning to his voice. Menial paperwork ought not to obstruct living. Granted if his library burned down he'd go into mourning for years.
He turned to his former comrade with a curt bow at the waist as she shrugged her hatori on. This was probably a terrible idea. It would be nice for a moment sure but no doubt it would get the both of them to start thinking...thinking about why things had to be this way and what was wrong with him. He himself was already used to thinking this now and again and was professional at repressing these thoughts. He knew Tsunade hid her turmoil admirably but was an emotional trainwreck. It would be cruel to her but...
Was he feeling...What's the word. Benevolent?
He arched his brows as she asked him a question,snapping out of his thoughts.
"It's your village you should be able to go where you want with whom you want." He piped up with his head tossed back in a regal manner, insinuating he was going to do whatever he wanted anyway.Â
"Though perhaps the rope is a bit much for casual drinks." Orochimaru tossed a glance back at the large bow of rope resting at the small of his back.
To Delight In :: Orochimaru and Tsunade
 Letting out a small huff, she narrowed her eyes on him. âAre you saying that my brats cannot take care of themselves? I have you know,â She started, dabbing at his sleeve, âThat even if Konoha is the invasion village that we can pick ourselves right up and dust off our shoulders.â She stated, backing away from him, after successfully getting the stain out.Â
Deciding to sit down in her chair, she let out a small noncommittal hum to let him know she was listening. It was strange being in the same room as Orochimaru without him grating on her nerves. Although to be fair, it was she that usually started the fights. He took pleasure in rising her up and then watching her get angry at him. She didnât know this for a fact, but dammit, he had to have. Crossing her arms under her chest, she began to think.Â
âWho could say no to those terms?â He quipped sarcastically.
âWell, Iâm not giving you anything else Orochi. Itâs those or nothing.â She grounded out slightly at the sarcastic tone his voice held. Yes, she was sure, he did things just to watch her get mad. Taking a deep breath, she bit her lip thinking. ââ-Or you can just buy me a drink.âÂ
âAnd what does the Honorable Hokage do for fun trapped in her own village? I think our definitions of âfunâ may very, Princess.âÂ
âWell usually, I drink and eat chicken and gamble.â A small smile tugged on her cheeks as she batted her lashes up at him, âOf course of defination of fun varies. You like to maim people and then figure out their jutsu. I like to gamble.â Studying his expression she gave him a slight shake of her head. âJust because Iâm Hokage, does not mean Iâve lost my fun. Iâm still myself⌠under all that paperwork that you just threw into the fireplace.â
Orochimaru folded his hands in his lap, sitting up straight with posture of gods. He afforded his sleeve a glance as Tsunade sat back and affixed him with one of her pouty glares. Some residual childhood panic over recieving undeserved kindness mewled forgotten in the back of his mind.
She mentioned not offring up anything else. He didn't really want anything else. He'd veen bored and now she was delightfully frustrated wit him. Understandably. Everything he did made perfect sense to him. He never gave much thought that his usual silence made his behavior seem insanely erratic from the ouside.
He listened to her quietly, giving her a break from his smart ass mouth for a moment. He kept it shut with an astute little grin.
âWell usually, I drink and eat chicken and gamble.â ... "
You like to maim people and then figure out their jutsu. I like to gamble.â
Tsunade shook her head at him. He tried not to break into a wider grin but he couldn't help it.
"Life's a thrill a minute back here in Konoha, I see." Orochimaru put his feet back on the floor and picked up the leather-bound book of notes he'd brought with him. He drifted to the mantle and casually tossed it into the fire that had enjoyed eating her paperwork.Â
"How about we call that even and I just buy you a drink?" He inquired with a nod, a hand resting on his hip.
It is dreadfully quiet over here.
I will come and cause each and every one of you havoc tomorrow.
Gaara backed away slowly and his smooth features darkened defensively; after all, the slithering snake-lord had once audaciously breached the Kazekageâs sleeping chambers via window (how undignified!) to brazenly appropriate Gaaraâs very favorite flak-jacket (WITHOUT ASKING) and the red-haired youth had been inconsolable for days afterward.
Gaara paused as he weighed his options; indecision was a rare thing for him.
He folded his arms regally across his chest, squared his shoulders and drew himself to his full height (all 5 foot 4 inches of him) as he assumed a commanding stance. Gaara chose to ignore how Orochimaru towered over him, but what the Kazekage lacked in height he made up for with feistiness, so the little Napoleon of the Desert remained brave and resolute as he stared down his opponent.
âI came for my vest, old man. Give it back.â
Was that-?
Orochimaru turned around to see Gaara the Kazekage having his own personal standoff with the serpent. The young man was standing his damnedest ground glowering from his cool eyes ensconced in shadow. His aura cast off as much intimidation as he could. Orochimaru had to do his very best not to smile.
"Oho, well if it isn't the Kazekage of Sunagakure." He chimed far too cheerily. Orochi couldn't help but feel slightly akin to the boy after spending an entire day with him incognito. He was amused, Gaara was quite the character but shouldn't be informed of that if not already inferred. Though he did steal his flak jacket.
"Want your vest back do you?~" Â He grinned anyway.
It is dreadfully quiet over here.
I will come and cause each and every one of you havoc tomorrow.
Young Sannin - New Team Mate by =Keyade
//Orochi looks terrified. Like "Augh, he's loud, can we get a replacement." Krosis. Adorable
Hissing Sounds :: Zaku & Orochimaru
 A guard cell!? Zaku felt his mind reeling from the implications. Sure, he wanted to be in charge of his own cell, but sitting on his ass all day hadnât been part of the plan! His mind still refusing to accept what it was hearing, Zaku opened his mouth, closing it just as quickly. Words came to him but how was he supposed to tell Orochimaru no?
âH-Hold on a minute here, boss! Iâd kill for something to do, I donât want to be like those pencil-pushing desk jockeys! Donât stick me with a guard cell, I was joking around before! Give me a field team, Iâll take any that are available!â It occurred to him that pleading and begging to Orochimaru may not be the best strategy in the world. After all, this was a guy who had more in common with a snake than people.
But he wasnât thinking about that. No, his mind was focused on the dreadful future of sitting around doing nothing while somebody else, perhaps Kin, was off getting the glory for themselves! Zaku couldnât let that happen, he wouldnât let that happen! He stood up, determination giving him just enough courage to face Orochimaru. âLord Orochimaru, give me whatever field team you have open, the hardest mission you have, and Iâll prove Iâm the best around!â
Never mind that he was just a genin, or that heâd spent so much time off in nameless backwaters, he had a chance at real glory, real advancement. And it would be a cold day in hell before he let anyone, even Orochimaru, believe he wasnât out to prove himself.
He surely expected an energetic rebuttal and did he ever receive one.Â
This was the very reason anyone else in the hall had wisely scampered off. Zaku was now second guessing his master. Very loudly. When the boy stood to face him and all but begged for reconsideration Orochimaru's porcelain visage only cracked in the twitching of an eye. On the inside he wanted very badly just to grab the boy's face in his hand and squeeze until his jaw broke.
Abumi was loud and bold. Unfortunately his ego was holding the reigns to both of those traits. But his dark eyes swam with ambition. Not an ounce of him was kidding or being smarmy. He truly thought he was the best thing to happen since the invention of paper.
Orochimaru gave a quiet and curt sigh, almost a hissing sound, before giving Zaku a sharp slap across the cheek.
"Contain yourself, Abumi, and don't address me at such a volume." He massaged his temple with his forefingers for a moment before continuing in a very calm and melodious tone of voice.
"A guard cell is not a paper-pushing agenda, dear. It is making sure nothing unwanted gets in your perimeter and that nothing inside your perimeter is being ill-behaved. It's a lot of work as a lot of people want us dead."
He nodded and cocked his head.
"Life is not always measured in initial difficulty of given hardships, but perseverance in between."
"But-" He practically sang, Â "If you'd rather be tossed back at the mercy of menial field missions- I understand that leading can be imposing. Not everyone is cut out for it, you know.~" Orochimaru stated with a languid shrug of his thin shoulders.
//Well. Thread-related scribbling in Spanish class. I (unjustly) blame all of you.
Zanzibar :: Setsuko & Orochimaru :: Word Event
There's always some fallout.
This experiment had been wrapped up months ago. The notes had been taken, the numbers had been logged and the toes had been tagged. Orochimaru had wanted refer to this pet project by a frivolous name to spite his stoic spy but Kabuto absolutely refused to utter the word 'Sparkle'. It was a short project, only taking a few months from beginning to clean up, and so it just went by it's catalog number Sp05.a.
It was short because it was just a side project, seeing it a shame to have to waste any of Guren's particulates in her...passing. Little things that kept Orochimaru's hands busy were usually for the betterment of the world. Unless of course he is occupied with you. So found out a remote little settlement of surveyors which was poisoned over a controlled period through its water supply.
All subjects died of course, as was the intent of the concoction but it took an average of five days. Sp05.a crystallized certain proteins that took root in neurons, shutting off the body's ability to function properly or feel much pain. The latter was probably a good thing since it also crystallized keratin in the body, hair and nails become rigid crystal structures. It looked painful. Subjects eventually died after bumbling about the camp like zombies for awhile, frostbitten, bruised and confused.Â
It was pretty great.
He returned to the spot today to record any lingering effects. After all the subjects ceased to be useful Orochimaru had seen to it the entire settlement disappeared. Indeed it was like it had never been there.Â
But there had been reports of some of the local wildlife looking unusually...shiny. Most perished within the five day window of affliction, but some did not react to the end game, so-to-speak. This had happened among the human subjects (about 2/10) but they succumbed to hypothermia anyway. Orochimaru was looking for-
There it was. An animal huddled under low hanging tree boughs. Oh, it was a wolf. Its fur coat was completely affected and was now a collection of cerulean crystalline, needle-like structures and its enlarged claws looked to be cut from gems. It certainly looked in poor health, skinny with  the flesh of its jowls receded to bone at the front of its muzzle.
A lone wolf. This suggested it was probably in a lot better health than its presumably dead pack. Its crystal coat would no doubt be heavy and easily bogged down by snow or rain.
Interesting.
Orochimaru perched himself in a tree limb and scrawled notes across parchment. The header read "Zanzibar (Sp05.b)" in his spidery handwriting. He'd finish his notes before inquiring as to its disposition. It isn't the best research practice to be potentially maimed without having taken any notes.