osejosprout

[parkchanwoohoo]

[osejosprout]

I mean... yes....but also I would love for someone to take videos like this of me

[osejosprout]

[theloverislost]

as we are rapidly approaching pride month, here’s an obligatory reminder!

AROMANTIC PEOPLE

ASEXUAL PEOPLE

AND AROACE PEOPLE

ALL BELONG IN THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY

I WILL REMOVE EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE

[weltenwellen]

Joy Sullivan, from “Culpable”, Instructions for Traveling West

[jakeperalta]

not using AI genuinely feels like the rest of the world is experiencing some kind of mass amnesia. if someone says they never use it, the immediate response is that can't be true because "everyone" uses it to write their emails or answer their questions. saw a comment suggesting that not using chatgpt to write an essay is "like the 90s". girl I graduated in 2021 and we weren't doing that! how is it that everyone has suddenly forgotten that they were entirely capable of doing these things all by themselves for their entire lives up until the past few years!! am I going crazy!!!

[chasoc]

No, I would not. Zootopia 2 (2025)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tried to hatch an easter egg once

[dr4g0nwh1sk3rs]

I- I don’t think I wanna know

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

didn't have a heat lamp so i kept it under my armpit for a week

[antifa-furry-soldier]

If this were anyone else I'd be confident this is a bit

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it was elementary school. the year before our class hatched a batch of chickens in an incubator, i knew they needed heat. plus i didn't want an adult to confiscate it. during class i alternated between my hoodie pocket and my armpit (warmer). solid logic

[webber-da-spider]

Was it a plastic one or a painted one?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

well see that was the big issue

[webber-da-spider]

Answer the question gaud

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this happened in June. Easter had been over for 2 months. Easter was not on my mind. so when i found a single perfect intact egg (not hollow) just sitting on the ground under a tree, it did not occur to me that

the tree was next door to a church, places infamously known for organizing easter egg hunts

a single perfect white chicken egg rarely appears in nature nestled against a suburban tree trunk

to read deeper meaning into the small splashes of color on the base (thought it was pollution or smthng)

no, i did not see a forgotten easter egg that had been left for 2 months to weather the elements. i saw a random egg, in need of hatching.

[rhynereads]

You see Gaud, I don't believe you. You absolutely saw a forgotten Easter egg and tried to hatch it

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*sighs* let my motives be washed away by the tides of time. whatever my intentions, I tried to hatch a rotten easter egg under my armpit.

tragedy, naturally, struck.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"how did you not smell that it was a rotten egg" i have lifelong hyposmia (reduced sense of smell), an affliction for which my autistic ass is deeply grateful, given the issues i already deal with regarding sense of sound, touch, and sight (all of which could stand to turn that shit down a couple notches)

i DID, in fact, smell how rotten it was. eventually. in the end.

as i was saying, tragedy struck it straight outta the park. (it was entirely my own fault, for forgetting i'm not left-handed)

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

Did it break while under your armpit??! Gaud!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

see we were doing timed multiplication tables practice sheets (top 3 students get candy) and i was so focused on the adrenaline of beating jonah (who was threatening my winning streak) and out of habit i stowed the egg in my armpit (as one does) but i chose the wrong armpit and when i realized it was already too late i had my pencil in hand and the countdown was on and candy and pride was on the line my elbow was already moving

[sarpedan]

more importantly, did you get the candy?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I did!!! finished the test in record time, claimed my candy, and ran to the bathroom to dispose of the gooey stinky evidence

there is no moral to this story and i am a cheerful atheist. happy easter!

[julielilac]

[waywardmillennial]

What Lies in UNIT's Vault? Behind the Scenes of "Lucky Day" | Doctor Who

Ncuti's surprised face is everything!

[cherryflavouredvivi]

PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

CARDAN. ISN’T. A. SOFT. DUMB. BABYGIRL. BOOKTOK CHARACTER.

HE TORE A FUCKING FAERY’S WING WITHOUT ANY REACTION!!

i just hate how mischaracterised cardan greenbriar is. yes, i love how jude is the dominant one, and stronger, smarter, and what not. cardan too would agree! but the thing is, cardan is not just a soft book boyfriend. no.

he is cruel. the book is literally named the cruel prince.

[nisoo6104]

EXACTLY!!

[surviving-the-next-4-years]

[vendimeyers]

[tubapun]

If I somehow ended up as showrunner for Doctor Who I would start my series off with the Doctor tumbling out of the Tardis, played by an actor who fans have been clamoring for years to get a chance at the role. Some big name star, ideally one with a fan hashtag.

The I'd have him look in a mirror, shout "oh god I'm hideous!!", and run back into the tardis. You'd hear a single loud gunshot, 5 seconds of silence, and then a complete nobody of a newbie walks out, pats her face, and goes "oh much better", then credits roll

[cryptic--creature]

Other people want Doctor Who to go back to it's roots by having the Doctor be a white man. I want Doctor Who to go back to it's roots by having the Doctor tell a Dalek to kill itself. We are not the same.

[verloonati-deactivated20260305]

You want doctor who to go back to it's roots by having the doctor telling a dalek to kill itself. I want doctor who to go back to it's roots by having doctor who try to kill someone with a rock for being annoying. We are not the same

[why-and-or-bother]

I want doctor who to go back to its roots by living in a garbage dump and kidnapping school teachers

[voidoffline]

What the fuck happens in doctor who.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yes.

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[isavedyouthewaltz]

[orcboxer]

my most controversial ship? heh...the Thomas W Lawson

[orcboxer]

motherfucker unlimited

[orcboxer]

you like that? I got more, how bout the SS Bessemer

This experimental piece o' shit, courtesy of Sir Henry Bessemer, had a stabilized cabin meant to combat seasickness. Unfortunately, due to the kinetic consequences of building a ship like that, it also combatted seaworthiness, and the instant this thing touched water it enthusiastically slammed itself into the pier with all the grace of a twelfth round boxer.

Not to be deterred, Bessemer repaired the ship, hired a veteran sea captain, slapped the stern and sent her out for a second go. The ship then proceeded to crash into the Same Fucking Pier even harder, demolishing it.

The SS Bessemer, her bloodlust satiated, retired from the cruise ship life and settled down in Swanley, where she became a billiard room, and then a lecture hall, and then rubble, due to an encounter with bombs.

This one's for the SS Bessemer. Rest in peace you wild bitch.