Paresh Maharaj @paresh92 - Tumblr Blog

waaaay back when I was a cashier in retail we would talk about dumb shit while unloading the truck, and we got to the "what would you do in a zombie apocalypse" me and another worker were like yeah we would just die. End it all, we can't fight or run or shit. I refuse to put that much effort into survival.

And my manager was like no!!!! If that happened, I would drive to find you guys in my truck and we could eat stuff from my wife's garden and I would make sure everyone I know survived!! I would carry you all on my shoulders away from the zombies!!

Anyway, random shout out to that guy. You were too kind for retail management, Devin.

fuckblast

It's been years and I still haven't found a single sentence on Wikipedia I like more than this one. and quickly learned how to breakdance. The simple statement. Action, result, reaction. White boy stuns latinos. Quickly. His white ass got there and said I need to have something to keep me from being All the White People, and I'm clearly not a boy of combative strength. Breakdancing bluelinked as the perfect little punctuation, reminding you that it is a rich art and sport, making you consider the sort of undertaking that would be. I like this sentence more than some Beck songs.

i-survived-that

ID: A youtube comment with 11 likes by Niceone, it says "I've lived 46 years without knowing this. How nice of life to save some of the best bites for later." End ID.

Normally, people tend to get frustrated, even jokingly, if they miss out on something. This comment was on a song from 1974 and it made me smile quite much. Simply appreciative. Like a dessert after dinner.

phinarei

It is genuinely mind blowing to me just how many Tumblr posts have changed my life for the better and taught me to be happier. Not all of the thoughts originate on Tumblr, but the way people collect and frame them has literally changed my brain chemistry.

hanavesinauttija

I went to the forest that makes you have multiple pronouns and accidentally touched some poison ivy there

hanavesinauttija

now I'm it/she

cheaphalloweencostume

all movies are for children because the moving image is inherently juvenile. to be entertained by it even moreso

cheaphalloweencostume

did we like, all forget about telling jokes

cheaphalloweencostume

its gigglebait. its hehebait

danshive

I think part of the “attractive woman equal dumb” trope (prevalent in many old sitcoms) was the misconception that masks worn for seduction, and job-related entertainment, were the reality.

“She’s dumb and cutesy.” She’s feeding a man’s ego while minimizing how intimidating she is. She’s sweet and vulnerable and not at all smarter than the big, smart man in any way.

It’s cashiers having to smile dialed up to eleven.

Then sitcom writers were like “mask? What mask? That’s who they are. Also, stupid jokes are funny.”

cassandracalin

nycswebhead

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

nycswebhead

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine

paresh92

I knew remembering this one, oddly specific story from my childhood would come in handy one day.

#it’s always the quiet ones #I literally wrote a paper on tapirs in elementary school

gryffon

todaysbird

getting northern licked by a northern flicker

paresh92

BLBLBLBLBLBLBLLBLBLBLLBB

elierlick

Yet another new study debunked the basis for the anti-trans sports bans. It was never about sports but for creating legal avenues for exclusion and abjection. This is one of the largest analyses ever conducted, involving 52 studies and 6,485 trans people. Read the study here.

lucieslucidity

post so nice had to reblog it twice and force it down everyone's throats

fleshengine

At minimum about 4.5 thousand people liked this without reblogging it.

We gotta fix that.

distinguishedbaloney

eilooxara

Non cooking spray stick

eilooxara

Non spray stick cooking

that-house

Non cooking stick spray

yeahokayillreblogthat

yeah okay ill reblog that

autism-official

lonestarflight

Apollo 17 vs Artemis II

mementochao

Despite everything, it's still you.

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Also prev tags:

That's really cool actually

tanoraqui

#excuse me but are you telling me that the Apollo pic is made with the help of the SUN and the Artemis one with the help of the MOON??? #that's actually so poetic i want to cry

@gorandomshesaid wait i need to sit with this one. wait.

bemusedlybespectacled

so I've been going to group anxiety therapy and tbh I kinda just like it for the socializing because I don't really get a lot out of talk therapy to begin with and meds work so much better for me

but today we got given homework and one of the pages was about "putting your thoughts on trial" where your evidence for the negative thought being true is the "defense" and your evidence for the negative thought being false is the "prosecution" (obviously with the goal of "convicting" the negative thought of being false)

and IMMEDIATELY my defense attorney ass wanted to be like "um ACTUALLY the prosecution has the entire burden of proof and the defense doesn't have to do shit except poke holes in the argument so ACTUALLY it should be the prosecution making the case that the negative thought is true and the defense poking holes in that argument with counterexamples or questioning the premise" BUT I DID NOT WANT TO BE THAT PERSON IN GROUP THERAPY SO I DID NOT SAY IT