tumblr deleted my old blog bc they thought i was

russian. but im just a commie

[whitepeopletwitter]

[carnival-phantasm]

It’s more of a pussy out kind of year

[sirduke]

[headspace-hotel]

Nathan pyle’s newer comics are delightful

Also...these panels

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

This is killing me. Please read it in his voice

[himbo-ted]

Why am i wheezing at this

[waterthedirtflowerslastforyou]

dont make me tap the sign

[whitepeopletwitter]

[raginrayguns]

George Francis Atkinson - Botany for High Schools (1910):

Fig. 51. A. cross section of the stem of an oak tree thirty-seven years old, showing the annual rings. rm, the medullary rays; m, the pith (medulla). B, cross section of the stem of a palm tree, showing the scattered bundles.

[honeylemony]

[averruncusho]

banana tree: *slurred* hold my cocktail

[jonathanrichman]

how did the person that @beercheesecasserole reblogged this from get a comma in the tags

[bunniope]

[caledoniaseries]

The dragontree is an asparagus, not a tree.

[animalbody]

ugh dysphoria is so fuckin complicated like no I don’t wanna look like a girl yes I wanna look like a dude who looks like a girl

[animalbody]

u get it

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

anyone else so bad at phone calls you have to write down what you want to say beforehand and just read it? I feel like a robot

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

sorry but this is so funny

[glazedeye-s]

[aeonlamb]

whats a gender neutral word you could use for your spouse? wusband?? hife?? wifesband?!?!?

[aeonlamb]

i may be stupid

[partly-queer-mostly-fear]

aaaaaaa i want to be cool and interesting and skinny and edgy and interesting and skinny and cool and skinny and skinny and skinny and just have more than one goddamn friend

i see all these skinny, attractive, interesting, cool, well dressed people everywhere with a group of other skinny, attractive, cool, well dressed people doing friend things meanwhile i am a fat, eboy wannabe, boring, lonely, nic addicted, mental tranny loner.

beep boop ANYWAY lockdowns been great

[xosunflowerdoll-deactivated2020]

Why is raw fucking such a big thing now? Especially when we all know the shit men will overlook in the name of going without a condom??

Like one time I was giving a guy a lap dance and he like, BEGGED me to let him stick his dick in. “Only for a few seconds! Please!” An kept whining when I said no and finally, he asked me, “Why not?”

I told him I didn’t want to. But, I thrive on showing people how ridiculous they are so I pointedly asked him, “Do you have a condom?”

He said, “No, but I’m clean! Are you?”

“Yes,” I said. Then, I said, “How do you know I’m telling the truth?”

“I trust you!”

He’d just met me A MINUTE AND A HALF AGO LIKE sisnajahsjanajiaiajjs MEN ARE SO STUPID y'all!!!!

[xosunflowerdoll-deactivated2020]

One time, I matched with a guy on Tinder and we were planning to meet up to have sex and he told me, “I don’t use condoms, I can’t cum with one on.”

WE HAD JUST MET THAT DAY OVER MOBILE.

He didn’t know me from Eve, but was ready to fuck me, a complete and total stranger, raw!!!

BECAUSE DICK FEELS

[xosunflowerdoll-deactivated2020]

A guy who’d been my friend with benefits asked after two months if we could go condomless, so I asked him if we could go get tested together.

He gave me a bevy of excuses including “I don’t have health insurance” (He was an international student from France) and “That’s too expensive, I don’t wanna pay for it! I’m clean anyway!”

I asked him when was the last time he had gotten tested.

TWO YEARS AGO.

And he had had sex with at least two women, RAW, since then, but thought he was fine because he hadn’t ever gotten itchy!!!!

[bubblegum-pwussay]

Men loving playing russian roulette with their dick its very unnerving

[amethystafrodite]

People don’t realize that the most common STIs are asymptomatic.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

One time I was cooking with a girl and we were both bilingual but we didn’t have a language in common so we were just sitting by the fire doing prep work quietly and I was peeling little garlic cloves to mince and she put her hand on my arm to stop me and demonstrated how you’re supposed to press on the clove with the flat side of your knife to break the shell off all at once to peel it and I was like oh! And I imitated her and she nodded in approval and we went back to quietly peeling and mincing the garlic and I don’t want to be hyperbolic but in that moment I was like wow I truly understand the universal thread of human love and connection inherent in our souls or whatever

[everythingfox]

Sky puppies

[socialistexan]

[houseofwax2005-deactivated20220]

[hashtagloveloses]

looked through some of my old tweets and found a cursed exchange

[onlytwitterpics]