Letâs Have Another Bullet Point Story, Courtesy of a Friend
So I have a friend that used to be in the tumblers troupe at the renfaire as a contortionist
We were chatting online and she told me to tell you all this story.
but she forgets that sheâs stupid strong and hypermobile
so one day she throws her back out
bad enough that she needed painkillers and couldnât stand upright
âBut also I needed Tampons and like. Â A Burrito, real bad.â
sheâs flat on her back in her apartment when she decides this
leap of reasoning, decides
âI canât roll my back forward to sit/stand up like normal.
But I can ARCH my back just fine.
Iâm going to do that and get on my hands and feet in a stomach-in-the-air this-shit-belongs-in-a-horror-movie-type pose,
And amble on down to the 7-11â
âAnd get me that Burritoâ
after midnight in July during a wildfire so itâs hot as satanâs own asshole and the moon is red and shitâs already generally cursed.
Imagineyou are some poor sap working nights at the worldâs deadest 7-11, and you hear the door jangle but you donât see anyoneâs head over the counters.
Except you keep hearing noises like thereâs someone in the next aisle over. Â
Fucking around in the burrito section
Itâs also worth mentioning that Kat
1. sings whatever earworm is currently running through her head when sheâs not paying attention
2. sounds EXACTLY like some kind of creepy child from a horror movie when doing so
tonightâs song is something from veggietales.
DUDE ACTUALLY STANDS HIS GROUND
and/or is really fucking high and isnât sure if heâs tripping balls or notanyway
Kat goes up to pay for her burrito and tampons
She realizes the counter presents something of a challenge, and then demonstrates for me on her kitchen table at 4AM during a different july wildfire,Â
how she used the shelves to climb up the counterÂ
like one of the boston robotics beasties
dude stares at her for like, five minutes and says.
âRegisterâs broke.â
âOh No!â Says Kat.
âJust Take âem.â
âReally? Â I can leave cash-you donât have to give me change I donât want you to get in trouble with your manager.â
ââŠNah.â
âOh! Â OK! Â Thank you!â
âYeah ok bye.â
Shortly after she arrived back at the apartment, she got a text on her phone from the campus security about  "A Suspicious Individualâ at tle 7-11.Â
 to realize she was the suspicious individual
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