Pastoral Bear

Because let's be honest, we all need a little weird in our lives.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

was thinking about how the concept of god is usually characterized as male (thanks patriarchy) and i came up with a question: in christian theology,

does "God" have a penis?

surely the catholic church made some sort of ruling on this

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

stop derailing with Jesus's foreskin, this post is about God's genitals ONLY

[myfairkatiecat]

Hi, Catholic here—the only part of the holy trinity with a human body is the Son (Jesus) so yes, but also God the Father doesn’t have a human body so no, but the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are all the same being as well so yes, but all humans including women are created in the image of God so hypothetically He has everything else too. Hope this helps.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

thank you it did not!

[durnesque-esque]

One of my absolute favorite professors, Dr. Tupper (a tiny, elderly, white, deeply Southern Baptist man from Mississippi who spoke with a THICK accent), from my Masters of Divinity program taught about the genderless-ness of God by scrawling a MASSIVE set of male genitalia on the white board and then tapping it enthusiastically while yelling: "GOD DOES NOT HAVE A PENIS!"

[pastoralbear]

Frank mothereffin Tupper. That dude was a trip (and one of the greatest theologians to ever walk this earth).

[teaboot]

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

[teaboot]

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

[teaboot]

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

[teaboot]

A little bit for Monica, she's my wife

A little bit for Erica, for her strife

My books all go to Rita, cause she reads

My greenhouse goes to Tina, she plants trees

The furniture is Sandra's, on my lawn

Jewelry for Mary, she can pawn

Ashes go to Jessica, that's my plan

A little bit of me inside a can (ah!)

[pastoralbear]

This is absolutely diabolical. I love it.

[hikikomoricomplex]

I see we’ve reached the “blame your failures on communist subterfuge” phase of the AI business plan

[hikikomoricomplex]

The AI business plan, for reference:

1. Promise everything.

2. Piss off everyone.

3. Deliver nothing.

4. Blame asians?

[pastoralbear]

My disdain for A.I. is organic and locally grown.

[mastergir]

This is absolutely the funniest spam email I've ever gotten.

[ivipl1]

transcript under readmore

Dear regards ,

)YourName$ null is a s̲ ̲e̲ ̲n̲ ̲s̲ ̲a̲ ̲t̲ ̲i̲ ̲o̲ ̲n̲ ̲a̲ ̲l̲ c̲ ̲o̲ ̲n̲ ̲t̲ ̲e̲ ̲n̲ ̲t̲ ̲ ̲c̲ ̲r̲ ̲a̲ ̲f̲ ̲t̲ ̲e̲ ̲r̲ ̲.̲ We appreciate all you have done for us.

You're work means the world to us. And brand image is king.

You're work means the world to us. And brand image is king.

A̲f̲t̲e̲r̲ ̲c̲a̲r̲e̲f̲u̲l̲l̲y̲ ̲r̲e̲v̲i̲e̲w̲i̲n̲g̲ ̲y̲o̲u̲r̲ ̲c̲o̲n̲t̲e̲n̲t̲ ̲w̲i̲t̲h̲ ̲o̲u̲r̲ ̲t̲e̲a̲m̲ ̲o̲f̲ ̲e̲x̲p̲e̲r̲t̲s̲.̲ We have decide you to offer a d͟e͟a͟l͟ (a trade of means). of mutual benefits. Our brand and your

We can tell that you need some help. After looking over your recent videos, they feels you are missing something. We provide that something, but we can't not help you if you don't accept it.

T̲h̲i̲n̲k̲ ̲o̲f̲ ̲t̲h̲e̲ ̲h̲a̲r̲s̲h̲ ̲w̲o̲r̲l̲d̲ ̲o̲u̲t̲ ̲t̲h̲e̲r̲e̲ ̲b̲e̲f̲o̲r̲e̲ ̲c̲o̲n̲s̲i̲d̲e̲r̲i̲n̲g̲

We

Imagine you, your fridge full of cold one..

The f̲u̲t̲u̲r̲e̲

Every day we go home. Every day we content.

So much more. In your hands you own potential. You Waste it.

This has the potential to D̲E̲S̲T̲R̲O̲Y̲ the hierarchy of the modern millenium. Our strict policies and guidline deliver swift justice against the opposing ,

Think about good times!. this once in job opportunity to bring a useful thing in your time!

Imagine, have new big burger, tasty burger.

cheese burger, very big and very good. You eat, you happy! Also! Kids love ice cream so!!

The enemy, youtube. You are the hero, take back what your. With our help the sword you will be viral!

The world is golden scale with good and evil, make right choice accept our offer!

please.

Make sure to not think on it long!

Make sure to contact us on our website to prolong your survival.

I hope you realize what this means.

We wait on you. ..

[pastoralbear]

NGL this reads like what I imagine a certain orange man's internal monologue sounds like.

[userfish]

this pride month we’re all going to be radically pro transgender. or else.

[userfish]

hey so this means radically pro ALL transgender. don’t put limitations on this. all trans people are radically accepted here.

[pastoralbear]

I'm down with this as long as if they're the kind of odd bird who voted for the jaundiced jackass, we can tell them that on the one hand they're welcome here, but on the other hand they kind of suck as human beings and need to reorient their priorities.

[azspot]

Magic Arena developers say they were told to relocate or effectively lose their jobs

It's one of many reasons that workers tell Polygon they are eager to unionize.

Employees and developers working on Magic: The Gathering Arena say they were hired with promises of remote flexibility, so they bought homes and built lives around those assurances. But they say they are now being told they may need to relocate to Washington state — or effectively lose their jobs.

Those concerns are a major reason why a supermajority of workers on the Arena team are attempting to unionize with the Communications Workers of America, under the banner United Wizards of the Coast. The group publicly launched its campaign on April 27, calling on Wizards of the Coast and parent company Hasbro to voluntarily recognize the union by May 1.

[apricops]

These employees are doing important and laudable work in response to being forced into a bad situation but I’m glad they still took the opportunity to call themselves “United Wizards”

[basic-bamboo]

WotC has still refused to recognize the union and has escalated to sending organizers letters directly to their homes about how unionizing is a bad idea. Luckily, our United Wizards are educated, organized, and agitated and the form letter from Hasbro was as laughable as it was threatening.

If you want to help out the United Wizards you can sign this petition

cwa.org/uwotcletter

Solidarity baby!

[pastoralbear]

Just a reminder, Wizards of the Coast has sent out the Pinkertons before.

Who are the Pinkertons?

Well, they're an American security company that's been around since the 1850s which did a LOT of union busting in the late 19th and early 20th century on behalf of American industry robber barons.

A few years ago, an individual accidentally got his hands on some MTG cards before they were supposed to be released. It was nothing nefarious - he bought them completely legitimately. But WotC, instead of being reasonable, sent the fucking Pinkertons to his HOUSE.

Long story short, these MTG Arena staffers that are unionizing are really doing a very brave thing knowing who WotC is willing to employ to meet their ends.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[durnesque-esque]

[pastoralbear]

I cannot even begin to fathom the level of intelligence it takes to be able to draw a NEGATIVE EXPOSURE of one's self. My god.

[triumph-of-adaptation]

[pastoralbear]

Talk shit, get hit.

Fuck around, find out.

Captain Cook got exactly what he deserved.

[sunflowerseedsandscience]

REBLOG IF NAZIS OFFEND YOU MORE THAN NIPPLES.

[pastoralbear]

Nipples = good. Provider of life-giving sustenance for babies.

Nazis = bad. More pointless than male nipples.

[targetedknowledge]

[rainbow-brite13]

@pastoralbear 😳🤯🫡

[pastoralbear]

Well, what can I say to that but (W)HOO-YAH.

[kosmogrl]

not to alarm anyone but we have 2026 next week

[pastoralbear]

[liberalsarecool]

What a dunk.

[pastoralbear]

I will never pass up an opportunity to post "Thunder" Dan Majerle's poster dunk over Manute Bol, but it's especially delightful when it's at the expense of somebody who wouldn't know socialism if it hit him upside the head with a communal frying pan.

[gleerant]

if you ever find yourself thinking “wow I scraped the bottom of the barrel with my energy with that and came out okay!” that’s the devil talking. you did not come out okay. you borrowed energy from the future. you will repay it if you don’t rest and replenish the borrowed energy first.

[gleerant]

this one took off quickly - are you guys ok

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

WIZARD PSA: Chronomancy might be weird and confusing, but one of the few solid rules of the discipline is keep your promises. Time is a library, and you don't want to meet the librarian.

[pastoralbear]

OOOOK.

Too late.

[animentality]

[orbitalmirror]

reblog if you're an actual person IRL who gets genuinely upset if you catch someone using ChatGPT and view it as a serious moral failing

[pastoralbear]

ChatGPT can die in a fire.

[hollow-head]

i've always been dogshit at pottery on a wheel because i have weak noodle arms and can't hold my hands firmly in place to center the clay but i finally realized the root issue was that my legs are SHORT since i have the limb/torso proportions of a dachshund and i couldn't brace my elbows on my legs, so i put bricks under my feet and now i can sort of do it!! i've tried to learn twice in the past from TALL people but had a revelation when i watched a medium size guy throwing.

The moral of the story is: don't give up, maybe you just need bricks

[teaboot]

[pastoralbear]

Sam Vimes has entered the chat.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

When there are no stairs.

[pastoralbear]

[macgyvermedical]

In the 1700s, blood transfusion was used to treat psychosis. Oddly, sometimes it worked.

So a question for my followers: Give your best guess as to why this could have worked without looking it up.

I will answer tomorrow.

[macgyvermedical]

Answer: A particularly common form of psychosis occurred in the final stage of infection with syphilis. Syphilis is an uncommon bacteria in that is is extremely sensitive to temperature- so sensitive that a high fever greatly reduced or even eliminated infection with the bacteria. In fact, once quinine became available to treat malaria, which caused repeated high fevers, intentional infection with malaria was used to cure syphilis, which would then be treated with quinine. But in the 1700s, they (Europeans, at least) didn't have quinine yet.

So how did a blood transfusion treat syphilis? Well, in the 1700s, blood transfusions were not done with human blood- they were done with animal blood, usually lamb or calf blood. Since biblically calf or lamb blood was pure and contributed to the sweet nature of the animals, it was thought that if given to someone who was experiencing paranoia and hallucinations, the psychotic symptoms would decrease. This was not the case.

The amounts were usually small enough that the person didn't die. But it did cause frequent transfusion reactions. These reactions frequently caused high fevers, which treated the syphilis and helped decrease the symptoms caused by it.

[headspace-hotel]

Made so many errors they accidentally added up into something sort of right

[pastoralbear]

This is how scientific discovery happens a remarkable amount of the time.