Congrats if you survived this year because what the fuck was that
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Congrats if you survived this year because what the fuck was that
if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills with my first two wishes, my third wish would be that sabrina carpenter would get gradually taller. she'd be in on it and think it was hilarious. we'd have a strong cap at 7 feet here, maybe an inch a week so people have time to theorize--let's not be ridiculous. but she'd still keep up the "ooh! im so little and small!" schtick. but shed be gradually getting taller. she'd be like 6'1" and still jumping for the microphone. and she'd never say anything about it. and if anyone asked shed act like she had no idea what they were talking about. and shed cheekily play into it a little bit but mostly still keep up the "ooh im so little and small" schtick. do you see my vision. do you get it
ok and so if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills in one wish i would do the sabrina carpenter thing second and third i would wish for all evidence of one random taylor swift song to disappear from the world once every month or so. taylor would have no memory of it. her fans would remember it and there would be an outcry over where it went (it's not even in concert videos anymore!) but taylor would have no memory of it
instead, all her brainspace spent on that song would be replaced with the vivid memories of roman gladiator, taylaurius velox. she's able to hide this at first, but her music begins to take on a gradually romaner and romaner tint. at first, people are like "damn, she's getting REALLY conservative, huh" and other people are like "wow, she's so deep, she knows what a rubicon is" but eventually travis kelce leaves her out of nowhere (he wasn't sure if dating someone possessed by a roman gladiator made him gay or not and anyway he was getting sick of being like "we're going to play the lions" and taylor being like "LIONS? WHERE?") and taylor publishes an entire brutus themed album about this betrayal and it's beginning to weird people out
and so eventually travis kelce is getting like, bomb threats sent to his family for leaving taylor and eventually he's like "okay, okay, i left her because she kept having all these vivid nightmares of gladatorial combat and she kept saying that football was giving her the ick because we never actually killed anybody for the glory of rome" and then he just gets more bomb threats because he left a struggling woman during a mental health crisis
and eventually taylor is writing music about her forbidden roman senator lover and her fanbase is either whittled WAY down or WAY up because people want to watch this trainwreck happen (or maybe she influences culture so hard that we're just all really into rome now) but she's being super cagey about the name of this roman senator. until. and now here's the twist:
weird al has been getting all of the same vivid memories of taylaurius velox. and he still has all his memories of her old songs. so he's writing all these detailed song parodies of taylor swift songs that don't exist anymore including specific details about their shared gladiatorial reality that taylor has never shared with anybody else. including that her lover's name was publius, and she's been calling him Poob for short
at this point a lot of original swifties are leaving. they could do the brutus stuff, but they really can't survive poob. taylor makes a clapping back at the haters song including the lyric "these bitches don't know publius" and it ends up all over all sorts of merch. there's a renewed archaeological interest in roman gladatorial combat
most importantly, the internet discourse is the best it's ever been. does this make taylor swift transmasc? is travis kelce problematic for leaving his fiancee while she gradually morphs into a roman gladiator? is this good queer representation? if taylaurius velox was a gay man, does that mean the gaylors were technically correct? is weird al morally wrong for capitalizing off of her music if she cant remember it anymore? was weird al sent by god to torment taylor swift?
anyway thats what id do if i met a genie
*cracks knuckles* time to lose followers
No but I’m actually serious
When I vote in November, one of the major things I will be thinking about is...COVID-19.
I keep seeing people argue that biden is no better than trump, and as much as I don’t like him, I am thinking about the fact that we’re currently in the middle of a crisis that has killed 165,000 (one hundred sixty five thousand) people. This mass death wasn’t inevitable, it was greatly helped by the awful leadership and incompetence our government has shown. Tens of thousands of people might be alive right now if our leadership hadn’t persistently denied the virus was happening and dragged its feet about responding.
Honestly? Biden will do a better job with Covid-19. Trump is not making that difficult at all. Coronavirus won’t be gone when our election is over and it will likely be even worse. I’m not trying to defend Biden’s character—even if he does a better job because he wants to avoid criticism, or because it’s expected of him, isn’t that enough? We’re in the middle of a pandemic that has killed tens of thousands of people and even if Biden has nothing better to offer than extremely basic competence, I feel that voting for basic competence is the right thing to do because it may make a great difference in the amount of lives lost. I don’t think this is a good time to vote based on ideals. The immediate, concrete consequences of Trump being elected for another term are that thousands more people will die, and there is at the very least a higher likelihood that such drastic consequences will be prevented if almost anyone else is in office.
We can’t become numb to the destruction the virus is causing. If it is unacceptable for cops to murder 1,000 people a year, it seems that it should be unacceptable that COVID killed more people than that yesterday. YESTERDAY. (It’s on the CDC website.)
If it’s not guaranteed that Biden will do better to stop more people from dying, it’s at least likely, because Trump’s handling of the virus is so bad it’s hard for it to possibly be worse. This is about survival for so many people. Voting is a tiny thing we can do to try to stop this devastation from continuing, and the worst thing that can come of voting is that it doesn’t help.
Like, on the absolute most basic and most wildly pessimistic level, voting for Biden is PROBABLY going to result in less people being dead than not voting, and there’s very few circumstances where voting causes MORE people to be dead, and that’s enough for me
You... you actually think the United States' slow response was Trump's fault? Recall Hurricane Katrina or 9/11, any authority elected into office will fail us. It's what our system produces. Feeding into the idea that we just need to elect the right person and everything will be magically fine is litterally the mentality that contributes to the problem. At least, it contributes to the ignorance of what the real problem is, and makes it impossible to solve.
First of all...that’s a huge straw man. “everything will be magically fine” is incredibly far from “probably going to result in less people being dead.” How do you read this post and come away with the idea that I think electing Biden will make everything magically fine? I don’t like him! I don’t have high expectations for him!
But yes, I think our awful response to the pandemic might have at least a little to do with the president denying the virus is a problem, disseminating false info about it, and promoting pseudoscientific cures. And repeatedly ignoring the Center for Disease Control’s recommendations, to the point of telling them to revise their reopening guidelines for schools. And threatening to cut funding to schools that don’t reopen in-person.
It’s like you’ve almost gone full circle here, ending up just short of defending Trump because The System is the problem and nothing Trump does is actually his fault, it’s just The System, and anyone in his position would do the same thing.
It really bothers me how the absolute fatalism of some leftists has them practically arguing that Donald Trump isn’t that bad, defending him as Just More of the Usual, because they’re so hell bent on the idea that The System is the problem. If someone says Trump is a fascist, people come in like ACTUALLY everyone running for office is a fascist, so there’s no point in voting. If someone says Trump’s policies are racist and bigoted, people say that ACTUALLY the entire United States is racist and bigoted, so there’s no point in trying to put someone else in office. ACTUALLY, there’s no point in being alarmed at Trump being elected or re-elected president, because the System has always been the same, and anything that happens as a direct result of his leadership would have happened anyway, and he didn’t actually do anything to make people’s lives worse because they were already as bad as they possibly could be, and any attempt to elect officials that will enact policies to improve or save lives is pointless because nothing can actually get better because of the System.
I’m sitting here pulling up articles about Trump’s COVID response and I could have this exact conversation with a Trump supporter, and a Trump supporter could have written your comment, and in fact I had to go and scroll through your blog before writing this to figure out if you were a trump supporter/far-right or not (like, twice) because “it was inevitable that 180,000+ people died from COVID” and “it was inevitable that 180,000+ people died from COVID” are in fact the same sentiment no matter what the reasons are and I can’t tell them apart. And that’s what you hear from the far-right, in fact—the same just...complete fatalism about the world.
To explain: The far-right believes homeless people should be left to die on the street because it’s impossible to change whatever’s wrong with them that made them homeless, whether that’s laziness or addiction or otherwise being unfit to live in society. They believe we shouldn’t try to fix poverty or wealth inequality, because the nature of the world is that some people will end up poor because that’s the way they are. “Banning guns won’t stop people from getting them.” “Universal health care will just make taxes higher.” “Raising the minimum wage will just make things more expensive.” I hated this shit, growing up around it. It was depressing and narrow minded. My political viewpoints came to be largely aligned toward “No, positive change CAN still happen in the way the country is run.” And yeah, voting people into political offices (NOT just president) is a part of that, however small.
So I’m just. BOGGLED at “leftists” or whatever they’re calling themselves (I honestly don’t know) saying that voting and electing officials who plan to change the health care system and raise minimum wage and maybe do a tiny thing or two to save people’s lives or improve them is pointless because the System is corrupt and therefore nothing can be improved. ????
I can’t wrap my head around it. Perhaps the people who say it think said officials won’t enact said policies. Or perhaps they think said policies don’t matter. But either way. It’s not like there has never been any even marginal change in this country ever??? Abortion was, at some point, made legal in the first place. Marital rape was made a crime. We’re no longer throwing people in prison for being gay. Laws have been passed restricting pollution. Endangered species have been protected. The ADA passed in what, the 90’s? In fucking 2015, gay marriage was legalized nationwide. Did none of those things matter? Were they illusory? Would things really be no worse if we reversed them all?
It’s as if the argument that Biden or any other Democrat is no better than Trump because the System is the same leads to the idea that nothing is worse than Trump either, because the System is the same. Which is just??? Things aren’t As Bad As They Could Possibly Be. Things are not great for minority groups, poor people, and women in this country, and we can admit that and seriously fight for change on various levels without acting like things are SO bad that they literally can’t get worse. Things getting worse should be something that we’re very, very concerned about right now. The existing victories we’ve accomplished may not be nearly enough, but that doesn’t mean gambling with what we have is a good idea. Is our climate change policy shit? Absolutely. Does that mean we Might As Well not have any pollution related laws. NO WTF.
Conversion therapy is legal to force on minors in what, 20, 30 states? That’s awful and it’s barbaric. A lot of republicans would LOVE to make it all 50. We aren’t at rock bottom. There isn’t nowhere to go but up. There are a lot of ways to go that definitely aren’t up.
On the most basic pessimistic level, we may have “Won’t make anything better” and “won’t make anything better” competing for office, but they are not actually the same if one of them is actually “And will make things worse.”
And why couldn’t it happen that something small results from our vote that improves things a little bit? Has nothing ever been voted upon and changed in the past? Why is it so wild and impossible that some of Biden’s policies could actually be enacted? Have things like that not happened before??? Ever??
As for COVID. I’m from Kentucky. I’m taking classes remotely at home while my classmates attend college in Georgia. I’m on the CDC website as I type this. Kentucky is experiencing 1,046 cases per 100,000 people and 20 deaths per 100,000 people. Georgia is experiencing 2,523 cases per 100,000 people and 52 deaths per 100,000 people. The per capita death rate of Georgia is over 2.5 times that of Kentucky. Now, correlation is not causation, but I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch to hazard that Andy Beshear and Brian Kemp’s wildly different attitudes and policies toward the virus might have at least influenced this. I mean, Beshear shut stuff down early, instituted mask mandates, etc. Brian Kemp tried to stop cities in Georgia from instituting mask mandates. Leadership...potentially matters.
So no, I don’t think it’s “not trump’s fault” that 180,000+ people are dead, and I’m not yet jaded enough to think it’s Literally Impossible Biden could do better.
And like, voting isn’t the be-all-end-all, obviously. There are lots of ways to be politically involved. But it’s not like we’ve got to fucking pick “voting” or “literally any other political action.” This isn’t a YA love triangle. You can pick both. I’m not arguing that voting is the only way to change things. I’m arguing that it’s an incredibly basic way we can try to prevent further disaster that at the very least will not do any harm. I don’t get it y’all. It’s not like the more votes are cast in this election, the more powerful the System becomes. Voting doesn’t charge America up, like some kind of laser beam, with more power to perpetuate systems of oppression, and not voting doesnt deprive anyone or anything of power or literally anything, and not voting will not make Biden or Trump less president. It’s either 100% president or 0% president. Large amounts of people not voting won’t result in the president being weakened to 93% president.
And voting is not just for president. If you can’t stomach voting for Biden, vote for your representatives and people who are running for local offices. The worst thing that will happen is that it doesn’t help anything.
Basically all of this, Jesus.
Lord, this year.
The past several.
Lord.
Dem 1: Man, I like Bernie's progressive platform, but people are going to get driven away by the "socialist" label.
E Warren: *waves enthusiastically*
Dem 2: Yeah, it's hard to imagine white suburban soccer moms voting for Bernie, especially in the Midwest...
E Warren: Hi! I'm literally a former white suburban soccer mom! I've still got the minivan!
Dem 2: And Buttigieg is so smart-- like ridiculously smart... but too centrist for me.
E Warren: *stares in Harvard Law professor*
Dem 1: I worry about voting for Bloomberg. He does great ads, but he's got all those serious issues around race I don't think I can get past.
E Warren: *holds up first place ranking on the 2020 Racial Justice Presidential Candidate Scorecard*
Dem 2: And have you heard some of the shit he's said about women? Why can't we have a candidate that respects women?
E Warren: *stares in woman*
Dem 1: Ah, I just don't know who to vote for. Biden? It kind of feels like he's too moderate, but I like that he has experience in the Senate.
E Warren: *polishes "Senator" name tag
Dem 2: I dunno. Amy Klobuchar is definitely a tough woman, and it would be nice to see a woman in the White House, but I think she's too moderate for me.
E. Warren: *high fives Klobuchar, because GO GIRL, proceeds to check if she is, in fact, invisible.
Dem 1: I just don't know. If feels like we don't have a clear best choice.
E. Warren: *looks down at dog Bailey* You can see me, right?
Bailey: Woof!
E. Warren: Good boy. *smiles for five millionth selfie.*
#Warren2020 #DreamBigFight
---attributed to Emily Holmes
24 Invaluable Skills To Learn For Free Online This Year
Here’s an easy resolution: This stuff is all free as long as you have access to a computer, and the skills you learn will be invaluable in your career, and/or life in general.
1. Become awesome at Excel.
Chandoo is one of many gracious Excel experts who wants to share their knowledge with the world. Excel excellence is one of those skills that will improve your chances of getting a good job instantly, and it will continue to prove invaluable over the course of your career. What are you waiting for?
2. Learn how to code.
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Perhaps no other skill you can learn for free online has as much potential to lead to a lucrative career. Want to build a site for your startup? Want to build the next big app? Want to get hired at a place like BuzzFeed? You should learn to code. There are a lot of places that offer free or cheap online coding tutorials, but I recommend Code Academy for their breadth and innovative program. If you want to try a more traditional route, Harvard offers its excellent Introduction to Computer Science course online for free.
3. Make a dynamic website.
You could use a pre-existing template or blogging service, or you could learn Ruby on Rails and probably change your life forever. Here’s an extremely helpful long list of free Ruby learning tools that includes everything from Rails for Zombies to Learn Ruby The Hard Way. Go! Ruby! Some basic programming experience, like one of the courses above, might be helpful (but not necessarily required if you’re patient with yourself).
4. Learn to make a mobile game.
If you’re not interested in coding anything other than fun game apps, you could trythis course from the University of Reading. It promises to teach you how to build a game in Java, even if you don’t have programming experience! If you want to make a truly great game, you might want to read/listen up on Game Theory first.
5. Start reading faster.
Spreeder is a free online program that will improve your reading skill and comprehension no matter how old you are. With enough practice, you could learn to double, triple, or even quadruple the speed at which you read passages currently, which is basically like adding years to your life.
6. Learn a language!
With Duolingo, you can learn Spanish, French, Portuguese, Italian, or English (from any of the above or more). There’s a mobile app and a website, and the extensive courses are completely free.
Full disclosure: BuzzFeed and other websites are in a partnership with DuoLingo, but they did not pay or ask for this placement.
7. Pickle your own vegetables.
Tired of your farmer’s market haul going bad before you use it all? Or do you just love tangy pickled veggies? You too can pickle like a pro thanks to SkillShare and Travis Grillo.
8. Improve your public speaking skills.
You can take the University of Washington’s Intro to Public Speaking for free online. Once you learn a few tricks of the trade, you’ll be able to go into situations like being asked to present at a company meeting or giving a presentation in class without nearly as much fear and loathing.
9. Get a basic handle of statistics.
UC Berkeley put a stats intro class on iTunes. Once you know how to understand the numbers yourself, you’ll never read a biased “news” article the same way again — 100% of authors of this post agree!
10. Understand basic psychology.
Knowing the basics of psych will bring context to your understanding of yourself, the dynamics of your family and friendships, what’s really going on with your coworkers, and the woes and wonders of society in general. Yale University has its Intro to Psychology lectures online for free.
11. Make your own music.
Step one: Learn how to play guitar: Justin Guitar is a fine and free place to start learning chords and the basic skills you’ll need to be able to play guitar — from there, it’s up to you, but once you know the basics, just looking up tabs for your favorite songs and learning them on your own is how many young guitar players get their start (plus it’s an excellent party trick).
Step two: A delightful free voice lesson from Berklee College Of Music.
Step three: Have you always thought you had an inner TSwift? Berklee College of Music offers an Introduction to Songwriting course completely for free online. The course is six weeks long, and by the end of the lesson you’ll have at least one completed song.
Step four: Lifehacker’s basics of music production will help you put it all together once you have the skills down! You’ll be recording your own music, ready to share with your valentine or the entire world, in no time!
12. Learn to negotiate.
Let Stanford’s Stan Christensen explain how to negotiate in business and your personal life, managing relationships for your personal gain and not letting yourself be steamrolled. There are a lot of football metaphors and it’s great.
13. Stop hating math.
If you struggled with math throughout school and now have trouble applying it in real-world situations when it crops up, try Saylor.org’s Real World Math course. It will reteach you basic math skills as they apply IRL. Very helpful!
14. Start drawing!
All kids draw — so why do we become so afraid of it as adults? Everyone should feel comfortable with a sketchbook and pencil, and sketching is a wonderful way to express your creativity. DrawSpace is a great place to start. (I also highly recommend the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain if you can drop a few dollars for a used copy.)
15. Make your own animated GIF.
BuzzFeed’s own Katie Notopoulos has a great, simple guide to making an animated GIF without Photoshop. This is all you need to be the king or queen of Tumblr or your favorite email chains.
16. Appreciate jazz.
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Have you never really “gotten” jazz? If you want to be able to participate in conversations at fancy parties and/or just add some context to your appreciation of all music, try this free online course from UT Austin.
17. Write well.
Macalester College’s lecture series is excellent. If you’re more interested in journalism, try Wikiversity’s course selection.
18. Get better at using Photoshop.
Another invaluable skill that will get you places in your career, learning Photoshop can be as fun as watching the hilarious videos on You Suck At Photoshop or as serious as this extensive Udemy training course (focused on photo retouching).
19. Take decent pictures.
Lifehacker’s basics of photography might be a good place to start. Learn how your camera works, the basic of composition, and editing images in post-production. If you finish that and you’re not sure what to do next, here’s a short course on displaying and sharing your digital photographs.
20. Learn to knit.
Instructables has a great course by a woman who is herself an online-taught knitter. You’ll be making baby hats and cute scarves before this winter’s over!
21. Get started with investing in stocks.
If you are lucky enough to have a regular income, you should start learning about savings and investment now. Investopedia has a ton of online resources, including this free stocks basics course. Invest away!
22. Clean your house in a short amount of time.
Unf$#k Your Habitat has a great emergency cleaning guide for when your mother-in-law springs a surprise visit on you. While you’re over there, the entire blog is good for getting organized and clean in the long term, not just in “emergencies.” You’ll be happier for it.
23. Start practicing yoga.
Most cities have free community classes (try just searching Google or inquiring at your local yoga studio), or if you’re more comfortable trying yoga at home, YogaGlohas a great 15-day trial and Yome is a compendium of 100% free yoga videos. If you’re already familiar with basic yoga positions but you need an easy way to practice at home, I recommend YogaTailor’s free trial as well.
24. Tie your shoelaces more efficiently.
It’s simple and just imagine the minutes of your life you’ll save!
I don’t post a lot on tumblr bc sometimes the discourse is exxxhausting, but I’m a lurker. Hi hey hello, im hella fucking tired.
may will be a good month,
may will be a great month
I reblogged this and literally five good thins happened to me, so, it’s not nothing.
may will be a good month,
may will be a great month
Happiness Will Come To You.
when tho
When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March
reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!
I reblogged this last year and I hung out with blink-182 backstage on March 30. Reblogging again because it worked the first time.
honestly, last year one of the best days of my life happened in late March
Now we start the everyone is not quite perfect 2020 primary
It’s already exhausting
Correct, and very succinct.
Hi what’s up
So, yeah,
Uh. In October I was diagnosed with MS.
Which is an incurable autoimmune disease that attacks your nervous system. There are drugs that can slow it down, but you know.
That’s been pretty rough.
Things that have been good? My work. My work has continually taken care of me and looked out for me. My friends. My lovely, and best partner.
Things that have been bad? My family.
My mother saying she’s sorry, not for years of emotional abuse, but for not letting me go to bible study.
I’m making it. Things are things. Life is hard. Fuck anyone who tells you it’s fair or there’s a reason.
Be kind as you can be, but know you can still say no and draw boundaries.
I’m tired, and overwhelmed. I’m happy and surrounded by good people. I’m sick.
I’m still here.
I’m just putting this out there for people who need a reminder
Just because they’re family doesn’t mean they deserve to be in your life
Give yourself a big hug for making it through this year.
Doc, what are the top five items food banks LOVE to receive? I'm doing a collection soon and want to ask for specifics.
MONEY. WE WANT MONEY. MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY. WE CAN DO SO MUCH WITH IT. WE HAVE ACCESS TO DEALS YOU COULD NEVER. MONEY
That aside.
I’m only going to talk about food items but if your food bank takes personal items, a lot of times diapers, feminine hygiene products, etc, are very very welcome.
1) Canned chicken and beef
looooooove this stuff. It’s expensive, it lasts forever, it tastes good and it can be used a variety of ways. This stuff is fucking catnip to food banks, it’s so hard for us to provide proteins.
2) Fancy nut butters
Peanut butter is a standby for food banks as a shelf-stable inexpensive protein, but if we have a family with a kid with a peanut allergy that’s not going to work. Non-peanut butters are expensive and it’s something we hardly ever see donated. (we also like peanut butter, but that’s easier for us to buy ourselves than non-peanut butters)
3) Canned or packaged tuna
You may notice a trend here in shelf-stable proteins. And yeah. That’s basically it, so I’m not going to keep harping on it. But this stuff is a godsend.
4) Easy breakfast things for kids (Granola bars, instant oatmeal, and the like)
Whatever Donald Trump tells you, most people who get food from food banks are actually working their asses off and so they have to leave Obama to raise their baby or whatever, and they don’t have a lot of time in the morning. Things like this that kids can make for themselves are expensive. (Another trend you may be noticing–donate shit that costs a lot of money. That helps us more than all the shitty green bean cans in the world) But they are so helpful for busy working families where the parents may not have a set schedule and sometimes little Amanda is making her own breakfast before she runs off to school. Don’t let kids go to school hungry.
5) Shelf-stable juice
This is one people never think of! But if you show up with a bunch of (preferably reduced sugar stuff) bottles of juice at my door, oh man, you are gonna get so many check mark and okay hand emoticons. This stuff is great for kids, and it doesn’t require refrigeration until it’s opened, so it works great for food drives.
But seriously, give money
And it’s way better food, too, anything you get prepackaged has A TON of sugar and/or salt in it…collecting cans may be more exciting than writing a check, but if the point is to help people, the check is going to get a lot more done
Yoooooo heads up for those of you with kids, I know this time of year schools start holding canned food drives so keep this in mind if you’re able to give.
collecting cans may be more exciting than writing a check, but if the point is to help people, the check is going to get a lot more done .
hint: the point should be to help people.
DONATE MONEY
We can get food for FREE sometimes. We can’t pay the light bill with tuna. Our operating costs matter but people don’t really think about that part.
Let’s just be real, most nonprofits could use your money more than anything else . People donate the weirdest stuff to us, but what’s most useful (unless they specifically ask for other things) are funds
I’ve been lurking
Not much posting, but it’s nice to see folks still around ❤️