does anyone else struggle to find multi chapter wesper fics that aren't just half smut? THIS ISN'T SHADE TO FICS THAT ARE LIKE THAT! i love wesper smut as much as the next person, but sometimes i just want a 200k words cutesy AU and instead i get 150k words smut with 50k cutesy AU on the side. those fics are great but they arent always what i'm looking for. please send me fic recs guys 🙏🙏🙏
do you think they’re searching specifically for jack wolfe for the roles where he’s actively dying or does he sniff them out like a bloodhound and go “i want that one” whenever they approach him with an opportunity
a/n: after this chapter, i'll be moving to weekly updates on mondays. hope you enjoy this chapter! <3
Read on AO3 || Story Masterlist
Wylan wasn’t sure what he’d done to get this bad luck. First, he’d spilled paint all over his nice sweater that he’d been planning on wearing to work today. Then, a huge fight broke out during lunch, which led to his students being distracted during class. They wouldn’t stop talking about it, asking each other for the videos. Now, Kaz had assigned him and Jesper to clean the lunchroom together. Technically, it wasn’t “assigned” so much as requested help, but Wylan wanted to make his boss happy. Jesper and Kaz were close friends, or at least as close as anyone other than Inej could get with Kaz. Whatever Kaz said, Jesper did. That’s what friends did for each other. The thought made Wylan a little sad, knowing that he’d essentially blown his shot at having friends here. Better luck next year!
Jesper was goofing off, focused more on fiddling with the broken seats in the cafeteria than actually cleaning. Wylan was wiping down the tables with an old rag that Kaz had found in the janitor’s closet. The smell of the cleaner was making him slightly dizzy, but he was doing his best to ignore it. He glanced around, taking in the gold and black walls covered in school decor. He’d asked Inej why those were the school colors one day and had been told that when Kaz took over as principal, he wanted the school colors to just be black and gray, but she’d talked him out of it.
“Jesper, would it be possible for you to clean the gunk off the walls while I wipe down these tables, please?” Wylan asked.
He had meant it as a genuine, polite request, but the chemicals were getting to his head. That, combined with the fact that he was still reeling from getting high the night before, was a recipe for disaster. His tone must have been off because Jesper’s face scrunched.
“Yes, Your Majesty. Would you like me to shine your shoes while we’re at it?” Jesper mocked, not getting up from where he was.
“I wasn’t trying to micromanage you. I’m just trying to get things done so I can go home.”
Jesper rolled his eyes, “Yeah, we both are. What do you think I’m doing over here?”
“Not cleaning the cafeteria, like Kaz asked us to,” Wylan grumbled.
Jesper pulled off the seat of one of the broken chairs, then tugged on the one he’d just been toying with to show that it had been fixed. Wylan paused, realizing that Jesper had been productive this whole time. He wasn’t just fidgeting.
“Sorry,” he mumbled as he turned his attention back to cleaning.
“An apology, wow! Was that so hard, Van Eck?”
Any ounce of guilt immediately disappeared. Wylan sneered, “Don’t fucking call me that.”
“Oooh, I hit a nerve! What’s wrong, you don’t like confronting your privilege?”
“That’s not it.”
Jesper laughed harshly, “What is it then? Why are you so against bringing up your father?”
“I don’t have to tell you shit! I don’t owe you anything. Stop asking about it.”
“Ah, well, that explains everything. Thank you for the detailed clarification,” Jesper scoffed.
Why couldn’t Jesper just leave this topic alone? Wylan scrubbed at a sticky spot on the table that refused to budge. He kept scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing, but the grime wouldn’t go away. His frustration finally bubbled over.
Wylan threw down his rag and flipped Jesper off, “Bite me.”
“Funnily enough, that’s how my last hookup started. She was much less of a pain than you are, though.”
Wylan’s face soured even further. He didn’t like being compared to others or being referred to as a problem or a burden, so he was hit with a double whammy. Jesper took the expression on Wylan’s face as disdain for the mention of hookups.
“Oh, are you seriously judging me for sleeping around?” Jesper grinned, pulling out his newfound trump card, “Didn’t you sleep with a tutor of yours and that’s why you ran away from home?”
Wylan tensed up, slowly picking his rag back up and keeping his eyes glued to the table he was cleaning, “...I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“What, are you embarrassed now? Don’t be. I’ve slept with loads of people. The only difference is I have the balls to admit it and I don’t judge others for it.”
“Jesper. Please take an extra moment to think about what you’re talking about.”
“What?” Jesper scoffed.
What kind of mind trick was Wylan using right now? Was he seriously telling Jesper to just think harder? What did he even mean? Wylan gave Jesper a few moments to process silently, but once it became clear that he wasn’t getting anywhere, he spoke again.
“Do you really think someone as rich as my father hired peer tutors?” Wylan asked, hoping that would make the lightbulb go off in Jesper’s head. When it didn’t, he continued, “No. They were all adults. All of my tutors were grown adults.”
“You could’ve just said it was untrue. You didn’t have to do it in that roundabout way,” Jesper scowled.
Wylan stayed silent, looking at the Zemini man as if he was choosing between crying or laughing at the misinterpretation. Jesper suddenly felt very uncomfortable. What was Wylan playing at? The implication that his lack of confirmation created was unsavory, to say the least.
“...You are saying it’s untrue, right?”
Wylan was clearly PR trained, as his response was, “I’m not saying anything. This is all hypothetical. That rumor is unconfirmed.”
“Wait, but your father is loaded. You’re telling me he didn’t run any background checks on your tutors to prevent… that from happening? If it did hypothetically happen,” he asked. His voice was significantly softer now.
“Well, hypothetically, if my father was friends with all of my tutors, he wouldn’t have particularly cared,” Wylan snickered bitterly. “Also, in this hypothetical scenario, that wouldn’t be the reason I left home.”
“Wylan-” Jesper started, before promptly getting cut off.
“I really don’t want to talk about this. Especially not with you. I’m sorry for dumping my hypothetical trauma on you. Can we please just drop it now?”
“You don’t have to apologize. Wylan, I’m so sor-”
Wylan hated when people said his name like that. That tone, full of pity and sweetness, made him want to cry or throw up. Or both. He wasn’t sure yet. He shook his head firmly and held up his hand. Jesper cut himself off. They went back to cleaning, this time without the chatter.
The only sounds that could be heard throughout the cafeteria were the rain pounding against the roof and the buzz of the overhead fluorescent lights. Wylan could feel a headache coming on and internally berated himself. Why did he tell Jesper any of that? He was a moron. Both of them were. He should’ve just kept his mouth shut. He shouldn’t have said anything to Jesper about getting distracted, and he shouldn’t have entertained the argument in any capacity. He needed to just keep his head down and his lips sealed. He should never have jumped to the conclusion that Jesper wasn’t working in the first place. Sure, Kaz had never told them to fix the chairs, but Wylan should have inferred that Jesper wasn’t dicking around for fifteen minutes when they were both there after school.
Jesper’s mind was going a mile a minute as he sat back down and got back to fixing the seats. He hated the noise inside his head, but Wylan had asked him to stop talking, so that’s what he was going to do. Not that he cared what Wylan wanted him to do. He hated that snobby, spoiled brat. Was that wrong of him? Wylan had just shared a very intimate part of his upbringing with Jesper, even if it was only because he’d been pushed into it. But then again, wouldn’t it be just as wrong to stop hating Wylan just because of his issues? Everyone had problems. Having trauma doesn’t absolve you of your wrongdoings, real or perceived. Even so, Jesper felt like a douchebag.
Jesper was so lost in his inner monologue that he hadn’t even noticed Inej standing over him. He jumped so hard that his head smacked into the chair he was in the middle of fixing, effectively ruining his progress and leaving him with an ache on his forehead that he was sure would bruise. The seat of the chair flew over to Wylan’s feet, making him flinch equally as hard as Jesper had.
“Inej, you have got to stop sneaking up on people like that. Sneaking up on students, I can excuse, but you cannot keep doing that to me,” Jesper chuckled.
Inej seemed to pick up on the lack of enthusiasm in his laugh and how his eyes were still stormy, but she didn’t comment on it. He’d previously asked her not to psychoanalyze him, and she was going to honor that request, at least for now.
She put the broken chair back where it was meant to go, “It’s getting late and the rain is getting worse by the minute, so Kaz sent me to dismiss you two. He said he’d ask the custodians to come in early tomorrow and give them an early bonus.”
“Sorry, that was always on the table?” Jesper grimaced, “And Kaz didn’t utilize this option until now because?”
“He doesn’t need a reason, and he prefers to avoid extra costs when he can. You know him.”
Inej swiftly turned back and left the room, heading back to the front office. Jesper stood up and looked over at Wylan, who was gathering his things to leave. He watched the boy fiddle with the straps of his brown messenger bag for a moment as he debated whether or not to say something.
They walked to the front of the building together, neither of them daring to say anything. Jesper had started counting the floor tiles, making his way to one hundred and one before getting bored. Wylan also kept his head to the floor, but Jesper had made the reasonable assumption that it was likely not for the same reason. When they finally made it to the front of the building, he heard Wylan swear under his breath. Jesper turned and followed Wylan’s eyes to the downpour going on in front of them. He dug his nails into his palms before finally speaking up.
“Let me walk you to your car,” he offered, forcing the words out as quickly as possible so he wouldn’t lose his nerve halfway through.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. Seriously, it’s the least I could do after…” Jesper’s voice trailed off, and he watched Wylan’s face darken. Okay, so that was definitely the wrong thing to say. He switched tactics, gesturing vaguely at Wylan’s curls, “Plus, you don’t have an umbrella. Your hair will be a nightmare to deal with.”
“I’m sure that struggle is harder for you to fix than it is for me,” Wylan laughed, pointing at Jesper’s head.
Finally, they were getting somewhere! Jesper rolled his eyes and smiled, “I used to shave it for that very reason. Too much maintenance and too many products. Now I try to take care of it, though.”
The rain got slightly quieter, and Wylan pushed open the door. Jesper opened up his neon purple and yellow polka dot umbrella once they were outside. Wylan started snickering to himself, to which Jesper tilted his head.
“That is the most ridiculous umbrella I’ve ever seen. Where did you even find that thing?”
Jesper dramatically clutched his own shirt with his free hand, “How dare you? I almost want to rescind my offer now.”
Wylan shook his head at Jesper’s antics, “You’re almost as ridiculous as your umbrella. You two are a perfect fit.”
They laughed as Wylan led the way to his car. The man’s headache had mostly gone away by now, seemingly cured by the magic of fresh air. He took a deep breath, holding it for a moment as he took in the earthy scent of wet grass between the parking lot and the road. He almost didn’t want to get his keys out and go home. The brunette reached into his messenger bag, hesitantly tapping the unlock button on his car keys.
“Thank you for walking me over to my car. Have a good rest of your night, Jesper,” he smiled softly as he opened the driver’s side door.
The Zemini boy nodded, “Anytime. Drive safe, Wylan.”
“Thank you, you too!” Wylan called out as Jesper began to walk away.
Once Jesper was out of sight, Wylan finally let out the childlike giggle he’d been holding in. Jesper had walked him to his car! The cool, beautiful coworker that he’d been intrigued by since his first day had walked him to his car. He threw his head back against the headrest as he thought about it. Maybe Jesper wasn’t so awful after all. They’d just had a rocky start.
I know I disappeared for a while, but that's because I joined a new fandom and it took a while to get myself out the rabbit hole. Great news, you now get Batman on this acc!
Anyways, below is a list of my favourite Wesper miscommunication fics. Just be prepared to tear off your hair in frustration at the stupidity of these two idiots.
sharpshooter's back, baby! by MaudeAlise- I consider this THE Wesper fic. Rating- Explicit. Enemies to friends to lovers, mutual pining, miscommunication, modern au tennis sports fic
When Your Prank Fails in the Best Possible Way by Feriku- Jesper thinks Wylan is homophobic and asks him out as a prank. H i l a r i o u s.
Taking the Initiative by Feriku- After Jesper backs off from flirting, Wylan realises that Jesper expects him to take the initiative in their relationship. Misunderstandings galore.
The Face Behind the Phone by Feriku- Technically not miscommunication (it was not tagged as such), but still very funny. Jesper writes his phone number on a bathroom stall. Wylan messages him.
Devil of Yours (Saviour of Mine) by LoneswaggingRanger- This is mature and whumpy as fuck. Wylan gets kidnapped by Kaz and the Crows. Some of the best works I have ever read.
sugar by demigodbeautiies - Rating- Explicit. This is by no means a miscommunication fic, and is placed here solely for the "We are just good friends" comment.
There are way more of these, but let's stick to six for now.
I know Tumblr is full of posts about the virtues of commenting on AO3 fics and such. But like. It works.
I just knocked out 8.5k words in one single day for a chapter update because of one reader leaving one of the most absurdly endearing comments I’ve ever gotten. That is unheard of levels of productivity for me.
The power of the fandom. The power of the comment.
What is High School Band if Not Drama with Instrumental Backing - Chapter 12
Let Light Be Light
Read on AO3 || Story Masterlist
Jesper was standing in front of the Van Eck house, holding a container of peanut butter pretzels and an Arizona green tea. He’d asked Wylan to meet up somewhere else because he knew Jan was very irritable, but Wylan had ignored his text. He had also sent a follow-up text, letting Wylan know that if he didn’t answer, Jesper would show up at his house. When he was met with even more radio silence, he found Wylan’s address and asked his Da to borrow the car.
It took thirty minutes of searching through the group chat to find the texts from the night of the party, where Wylan had sent his address so Inej could pick him up, and an additional fifteen minutes of convincing his Da that he wouldn’t crash the car, but he’d eventually gotten to Wylan’s house. The stars were already out, and Jesper wasn’t sure that Wylan was even awake at this hour, but he figured he had to give it a shot.
He gave Wylan a few more minutes to answer his most recent text, where he’d told the redhead that he was outside his house, before knocking on the door. Jan Van Eck opened it and glared down at the Zemini boy. Both of them had to hold back their respective scowls, although they were scowling for very different reasons.
“Can I help you?” He asked, his voice low and grumbly.
Jesper restrained himself from decking the older man, “Is it possible for me to speak to Wylan? I need to ask him about something for a chemistry project, but he hasn’t answered my texts.”
“Of course he hasn’t,” Mr. Van Eck sneered, though now his irritation was at Wylan rather than Jesper, “I’ll bring him down. Wait out here.”
The door closed in Jesper’s face, leaving him to wait anxiously. After a few moments, he heard hushed insults getting closer through the door. A second later, Wylan opened the door and stepped outside. His face was redder than Jesper had ever seen it, though he didn’t know if it was from anger or embarrassment. Judging by the clenched fists and the averted eyes, Jesper would wager it was both. Wylan shut the door behind him as he glared daggers at the unwanted visitor.
“I’m sorry,” Jesper started simply.
“I can’t believe you showed up at my house,” Wylan hissed, “Do you know how much trouble I might get in because of you?”
“I told you I’d show up if you didn’t give me a time and place to meet.”
Jesper could practically see the steam coming from Wylan’s ears, “I thought you were bluffing, Jesper! This is unbelievable.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have come over to your house without permission, even if I warned you. I apologize,” he said quietly.
Wylan paused, not used to people taking accountability for their wrongdoings. Jesper watched the gears turn in the boy’s mind as he tried to process the apology. The ginger nodded and looked to the side, unsure of what to say.
“I brought you these. I remember you getting them at the gas station when we all went that one time, so I figured… I don’t know,” Jesper handed over the snacks he was holding.
Wylan hesitated before taking the snacks from him. His voice was much softer the next time he spoke, “I can’t believe you remembered that.”
Jesper simply shrugged before continuing with his apology, “Look, I wanted to apologize for freaking out at the park the other day. It wasn’t anything you did, I promise. I uh- I got nervous because I… I struggle with commitment.”
He tried to gauge Wylan’s reaction, and the boy seemed to be receptive so far. That was a good sign, right? Even though Jesper could feel his legs turning into jelly underneath him, he continued his apology. He had to lay everything out on the table before he lost his nerve.
“I really like you, Wylan,” Jesper blurted out before he could stop himself, “Like a lot. I’ve never been interested in long term relationships before because I’ve always thought it was stupid to think about that kind of stuff in high school, but when I was kissing you, I couldn’t help but want that with you.”
Wylan’s eyes sparkled as he opened his mouth to say something, glanced back to ensure the door was closed, and kissed Jesper. It was over before Jesper knew it had even happened, but it was wonderful. Wylan pulled the sleeves of his sweater tighter as he watched Jesper collect himself. He covered his mouth as he tried to tamp down his laughter. Once he collected himself, he spoke.
“Listen, you can’t- you can’t stay here much longer. If my father finds out…” Wylan trailed off, shuddering, “But I really like you too and I would like to be in a relationship with you. Call me when you get home, okay?”
Jesper nodded eagerly, “Yeah- yeah! I will. Bye, Wy.”
“Bye, Jes. Talk to you in a bit.”
Once Wylan was sure the boy was in his car, he let himself giggle giddily once again. He jumped excitedly, just once, before forcing himself to calm down enough to re-enter his home. He briefly acknowledged his father as he ran back to his room. Thankfully, Jan didn’t even question the snacks in his hands. He sat his phone face up on his bed and eagerly awaited a call from his new boyfriend. The thought was wild to him. He, Wylan Van Eck, had a boyfriend. Up until a few weeks ago, he hadn’t even had friends! Now he had his own boyfriend.
He scrambled to grab his phone once he heard it start to buzz beside him. He immediately hit the accept button, grinning from ear to ear.
“Hello?”
“Hi,” Jesper breathed into the phone, “I just stepped into the house. Well, my Da was worried I was going to crash the car when I drove it by myself, so I guess technically I just finished talking to him. Anyway, what are you up to?”
“Nothing much. Just sitting on my bed and eating the pretzels you gave me. Thank you for those, by the way,” Wylan answered cheerily.
He kept his voice down, not wanting Jan to overhear. He knew realistically that Jan wasn’t that invested in what Wylan was doing ninety percent of the time, but it wasn’t a risk he was willing to take at the moment.
“You’re welcome. What’re you wearing?” Jesper teased.
Wylan laughed as he looked down at his sweater and sweatpants. “It’s been no more than fifteen minutes, Jes. I’m wearing the same thing I was when you were here.”
“Yeah, I know. I just hear people say that a lot. I’ve never really understood why, come to think of it. I know it’s supposed to be flirty.”
“It’s for when people want to initiate sex of some sort, from what I’ve learned. I don’t know. I don’t have experience in that field, clearly, but that’s what I’ve gathered from TV and media.”
“Oh!” Jesper choked, “That explains a lot, actually. I probably shouldn’t have been saying that as frequently as I have.”
“You can ask me that as many times as you want,” Wylan hummed.
Jesper snickered, “Eager.”
Wylan could hear Jesper walking around his house, opening and closing doors. Wylan placed his phone on his nightstand so he could lie on his side as he listened to his boyfriend. He could hear a faucet turn on and drawers sliding open and shut as Jesper searched for his toothpaste. Wylan wrapped his blanket around himself and bit his lip, searching for something to say.
“So,” the other boy beat him to it, “are you… are you cool with telling people? About us? Obviously not your family, but like our friends and stuff?”
“Yeah, of course! I’d like that a lot, actually.”
“Good, because Nina and Inej already know… which means Matthias and Kaz also probably know.”
“It’s been less than a full day!” Wylan laughed, leaning back against his pillow.
“Sorry! I told Nina that I was freaking out about the park thing and I didn’t know Inej was in the room.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t mind. I like that people know. Don’t need anyone thinking you’re still on the market.”
“Possessive, are we?” Jesper hummed.
Wylan’s cheeks heated up, “No! Well, maybe, but-”
“It’s alright,” Jesper reassured, “I like that about you.”
The boy smiled so wide his face had started to ache. He listened as Jesper began to ramble about his schoolwork and how he was missing lots of assignments. He explained that he hadn’t had the time to work on it between helping out his Da with work around the house, working his part time job, and having a social life.
“I swear, our teachers hate me for no reason! Boo hoo, I didn’t do your thirty page packet over the weekend. Get over yourself!” He groaned as he splashed water over his face.
Wylan chuckled, “That’s fair, although I will say you do kinda exacerbate things with your antics in class. I find it funny, though.”
“True. Although I will say, I think I’m growing on Mr. Kumari.”
“Probably because we aren’t yelling at each other in class anymore.”
“You say that like it was ages ago, but it really wasn’t,” Jesper yawned, “I’m glad we got over that.”
“Me too. I don’t know what I’d be doing if we hadn’t. I’d probably still be keeping my head down and counting down the days until college.”
“Boring! Glad I could spice up your life.”
They continued on like that for the next few hours, each boy taking turns to rant about different topics they felt passionate about. Wylan was curled up in his blanket and fighting to keep his eyes open while Jesper bounced around his room, trying to tire himself out enough to go to bed. Wylan had done his best to hide his exhaustion, but it was getting harder by the minute.
“You know you can go to bed, right? We’ll see each other in class tomorrow anyway,”
“No. I like talking to you,” Wylan whined playfully.
The next morning, Wylan was startled to see that his phone was at twenty-nine percent when he woke up. Did he fall asleep on the phone with Jesper? He was relieved to see that he wasn’t actively on the phone with him, but he was still embarrassed, nonetheless. He began his morning routine as normal, a little extra pep in his step as he moved between his bathroom and bedroom. He fixed his hair and put on his favorite sweater. He didn’t pay any mind to his father brooding at the kitchen table with a newspaper in his hands. He scarfed down his breakfast quietly before rushing out to his car to drive to school.
He got all of his work done even faster than usual, meaning he had more time to talk to Jesper during class that day. Nina had practically tackled Wylan with a hug when the couple walked into PE together, congratulating him eagerly. She tried to batter them with a barrage of questions, but Wylan and Jesper were saved by the start of their handball unit, which was only a slightly less torturous fate.
Jesper couldn’t focus on the game, despite his usual enjoyment of the sport. Nina said he had a “new boyfriend glow” but he could feel the anxiety so deeply it made his bones ache. He liked Wylan. There was no denying that. He and Wylan were good together so far. He just felt… wrong. Is this what a committed relationship is supposed to feel like? Why was he so stressed out? It was only day one! Was this how he was going to feel for the rest of their relationship? Was this a mistake? He likes Wylan! Why does he feel like this? Once they finished the game, Coach Briganti gave them free time for the last twenty minutes of class. Nina started talking, saving Jesper from his own self-sabotaging thoughts.
“Oh, before I forget,” Nina began, “Inej wants to get everyone together for a sleepover later this month. She asked me to see if you and Wylan were interested.”
“A co-ed sleepover with three different couples? Her parents are okay with that?” Wylan tilted his head.
Jesper shook his head, “She and Kaz have their own apartment. It’s a whole thing. But yeah, I’m down for that.”
“I’d have to ask permission, but I’m sure my father would be glad to be rid of me for a night.”
“Great! I’ll let her know and she’ll send the details in the group chat at some point.”
absolutely love when you finally reach the fun part of your wip and suddenly every real-world obligation becomes an inconvenience because all you can think about is getting back to your characters and seeing what happens next.
Wylan sat at his desk, tidying the frayed edges of his sweater with a pair of children's safety scissors. He was lost in thought as he waited for his class to start. He’d already made it a quarter of the way through the school year, which is longer than he’d thought he’d last. His students started piling in and sitting in their seats, signalling that it was time for Wylan to focus.
The first quarter of the school year hadn’t been too hard, but Wylan’s students had certainly picked up on the rocky relationship between him and Jesper. He wasn’t even sure how the kids noticed it. Maybe it was the snarky comments they exchanged in the morning during bus duty or the glares they’d send each other whenever they were in the same room.
Wylan had been idly eavesdropping while his students were working on independent work. He had told them they were allowed to talk since he trusted them to get their work done. He’d overheard one student talking about a discussion from Mr. Fahey’s class, and his expression must’ve soured before he could fix it. He didn’t even really hate Jesper, he was just upset about the unresolved conflict between them.
“What do you think about Mr. Fahey, Mr. Hendriks?” One of his students had asked, a challenging look in their eyes.
Wylan quickly tried to school his face back into something pleasant as he searched for a tactful answer to the question, “I don’t always agree with him, but he’s an excellent teacher. His students are very successful.”
That was professional, right? The student leaned back, seeming satisfied. The rest of class went on as normal, which Wylan took as a good sign. He didn’t think much of it for the rest of the day. He hadn’t said anything mean, and he had a semi-decent poker face.
The next class period, Jesper had that same student. That class was a much chattier group of students, but Jesper liked the loudness of his classroom. It kept him on his toes. He also enjoyed engaging in ridiculous conversations with them. One group was talking about their “hear me out”s and somehow the number eight got brought up as one. The rest of the students started clowning on that kid, so Jesper stepped in.
“Eight is hot. Eight has curves,” he agreed. He had no idea what he was talking about, but he liked being included.
“See! Mr. Fahey gets it!”
“Okay, but what about 7x7=49, Mr. Fahey?”
Jesper tossed a tennis ball up in the air, “I see it.”
“But 7x7=49 is for the girls! Guys can have 8, she’s feminine. Let the girls have our own thing,” a girl named Azealia protested.
“Who says it can’t be for both?”
“Fair point. Do you play both sides of the field, Mr. Fahey?”
“Sure do.”
“See! I told you, Damian!” Azealia cheered, “That’s at least two confirmed queer teachers and one unconfirmed.”
Damian tilted his head, “Who’s the unconfirmed?”
“Mr. Hendriks.”
“I think just looking at him is enough to confirm. He looks like he has Girls Girls Boys by Panic! At the Disco in his top five songs on Spotify Wrapped every year,” Damian said, his voice dry and blunt.
Jesper pretended not to chuckle as he busied himself with grading an assignment. He had finished his lesson plans and was working on grading some old assignments when he overheard his name. He started listening in case one of his students needed something.
“And then, Mr. Hendriks looked pissed, so naturally I was like, ‘Well, what do you think, Mr. Hendriks?’ and that must’ve been when he realized I knew he was listening so he straightened up and gave some bullshit answer,” the kid explained, waving their hands around animatedly.
Another girl tapped the student’s desk eagerly, “What did he say?”
“He put on the worst poker face I’ve ever seen, and he said, ‘I don’t always agree with him, but he’s an excellent teacher. His students are very successful.’ But, like, you could tell he was just pulling shit out of his ass, you know?”
“That’s nuts. I wonder who pissed in his cereal.” The girl laughed.
Wylan was talking shit about him to students? He could handle the passive aggressive snobbiness, but getting students involved was an entirely different line that he’d just crossed. Who did this guy think he was? Did he think that by cosplaying an average middle class worker to play teacher was a good enough act of charity to make him morally superior? Jesper nearly snapped the pencil he’d been fidgeting with.
Naturally, instead of handling it like an adult, Jesper told Nina about it. He ignored the fact that it made him no better than any of his gossipy, mean girl students. It was perfectly normal to vent about shitty coworkers with your friend! Sure, he should probably talk to Wylan about it, but right now he wasn’t in the headspace to do that. Nina was shocked and nodded along, letting Jesper rant about it. They were engrossed in their heated discussion when the door to the staff room creaked open, making them both go quiet.
Wylan entered, giving everyone polite smiles as he walked in. He hadn’t been sitting at the table with Nina and Jesper like the first day, but he had been sitting in the breakroom and being cordial during lunch the past few weeks. Usually, they’d give him the decency of a nod or a smile back. Today was different. The room felt cold, and nobody would look him in the eye. Jesper’s head was turned, not acknowledging Wylan in the slightest.
Wylan suddenly felt like a child, being ignored by his father again. Silently begging for any shred of care or attention, only to be met with radio silence. He swiftly grabbed a bag of chips from the shared display, trying to make it seem like that was always what he was there for, and power walked back to his classroom.
As he closed the door, he could faintly hear Jesper say, “Oh, is mini Van Eck too good to eat with the peasants?”
He ate lunch alone in his classroom, trying to pretend as though it didn’t sting. He decided that from now on he would eat there. Not in the staffroom. It was easier this way. Jesper and Nina didn’t want him there, and although he didn’t really understand what he’d done wrong, he could take a hint. He wasn’t going to force his way into anything he wasn’t invited to.
Jesper was at his local grocery store, getting his shopping done for the week. He’d loaded up his cart with everything he needed and made his way to the front of the store. He was about to get in line when he saw none other than Wylan Van Eck waiting with his cart. He was on his phone while the people in front of him also waited. Whoever was at the front of the line was arguing with the employee over some coupons.
“Was Erewhon closed?” Jesper commented snarkily as he got in line.
Wylan jumped, “Ghezen- a little warning next time? Also, I don’t think they have Erewhons around here. Even if they did, I wouldn’t shop there.”
“Why? Has Daddy dearest not sent your allowance yet? Or are you just enjoying cosplaying poverty that much?”
“Will you please stop bringing him up, especially in public? I… I don’t keep in contact with my father. I’m not cosplaying anything. Now please leave me alone,” Wylan frowned.
Jesper opened his mouth to further argue, but the coupon lady was now getting dragged out of the store by security. Both men turned their attention to the spectacle, thoroughly entertained. Once she was gone, Wylan looked down into his cart and realized he’d forgotten something. He moved his cart behind Jesper, signalling for him to take his place in line as he hurried off to grab it. Forgetful too. Wylan was really shaping up to be every negative quality Jesper could name.
When Wylan came back, Jesper had already gotten most of his items rung up. He pulled out his wallet and started counting out the cash so he could pay. Shit. He was short. He handed it over to the worker and prayed they wouldn’t notice, but they did. Just his luck.
“You still owe eleven dollars and seven cents,” the employee stated bluntly. The young woman was clearly exhausted and not in any place to deal with more drama, especially not after the coupon lady.
Jesper was about to ask what items he could put back to lower his total before Wylan stepped up and put a ten-dollar bill and a five-dollar bill in front of the worker. Jesper wanted to protest, to tell Wylan that he didn’t need charity from a nepo baby, but the worker had already accepted the cash and placed it in the register.
As soon as Jesper got home, he put his groceries away and opened his laptop. He started googling. He was going to figure out what was wrong with Wylan whether the brat liked it or not. He started opening articles about Jan Van Eck, skimming through for Wylan’s name. He’d found rumors of Wylan running away after sleeping with one of his tutors. Scandalous.
There were dozens of other unconfirmed rumors to go along with it, but most of them had come from gossip forums and sketchy websites. The rumor about the tutor had come from a news article that had supposedly reached out to members of Van Eck’s staff, all of whom remained anonymous. Jesper grinned, spinning a coin on the table as he thought about this new information. This opened up a new realm of possibilities.
When Wylan got home, the first thing he did was open his medicine cabinet and grab an edible. He sliced it into thirds, placing one slice in his mouth as he set the grocery bags on the counter. He’d put those away later. He grabbed his art supplies and started working as he waited for his mind to calm down. It took about thirty minutes for him to start feeling the buzz, finally allowing him to continue peacefully working away at one of his newer artworks.
His current work in progress was a painting of flowers. Dozens of different kinds, ranging from carnations to Wylan’s own original flowers that he’d made up. He’d always felt more comfortable being creative when he was high. His brain always felt freer that way. The intoxication didn’t fully remove the anxious thoughts or the sound of his father’s voice echoing in his mind, but it lowered the volume to a dull background noise that he could ignore as he worked.
His thoughts drifted to Jesper. He wondered if Jesper liked flowers and if he did, what kind? Maybe Wylan could give him one of the paintings he’d been working on. He truly did want to fix whatever it was that he’d done to wrong the man. He hated when people were upset with him. It made him physically ill.
He felt a pang of irritation as he thought about it now. Why did Wylan have to fix this? He didn’t even do anything wrong, at least not to his knowledge. Why couldn’t they just be grown adults? But whatever. It didn’t matter. He’d figure this out. He’d fix it.
What is High School Band if Not Drama with Instrumental Backing - Chapter 11
Avoidant Attachment Ruins Everything (Shocker)
Read on AO3 || Story Masterlist
Wylan spent a little bit longer getting ready that morning. From fussing over which shirt looked best with his eyes to making sure his curls fell the way he wanted them to. Spoiler alert: they didn’t. But then again, when did anyone’s curls ever fall the way they wanted? He knew he shouldn’t be stressing so much. He was just hanging out with Jesper. His friend Jesper. But it was also their first one-on-one hangout outside of school, and Wylan just so happened to be romantically interested in him.
He nearly crashed his car on the way there, with how distracted he was. They were just meeting up in the park to hang out. Why was Wylan working himself up so much to the point where he almost ended up with his car wrapped around a tree? He forced himself to calm down as he got out of the car. He sat down on one of the benches and began working on some sketches while he waited for Jesper to arrive.
He was deep in thought when a voice from behind asked, “Can you draw me next?”
Wylan jumped from his seat, accidentally messing up the linework. He’d go back and fix that later. He closed the notebook as he tried to calm his heart rate.
“Jesper! A little warning next time?”
“Aw, but that takes the fun out of it!” The boy whined as he sat beside Wylan.
Wylan rolled his eyes. He looked at Jesper’s neck, noticing that the boy was wearing the scarf he’d given him. He tried not to blush at that. He then looked at Jesper’s hands and noticed the two cups he was holding.
“What’s that?”
“Hot chocolate! I got one for each of us,” Jesper explained, handing him a cup.
“Thank you! You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know.”
Wylan took a sip from the cup, letting out a sigh of relief as it warmed him up. Jesper was watching him silently for a moment before sitting beside him. He plucked the sketchbook from Wylan’s hands, not opening it yet.
“May I?” he asked.
“Since you were so polite. And because you bribed me with hot chocolate.”
Jesper opened the book and started carefully flipping through it. “Just had to make sure. I don’t want another incident on our hands.”
“Saints, I forgot about that. I guess it really wasn’t that long ago, but it feels like it happened ages ago.”
“A lot can happen in five weeks,” Jesper chuckled, “...I am sorry about that though. I know I didn’t give you a proper apology at the time.”
“Thank you, but don’t worry about it now. It’s water under the bridge.”
“Actually, it was water all over your notebook,” Jesper corrected.
Wylan laughed, and he could see the air in front of his face. He watched as Jesper continued to turn the pages of his sketchbook, flipping through the various pages of colorful drawings, detailed pencil portraits, and a few unfinished pieces. Jesper noticed a page that had been torn out and paper-clipped back in.
“Why was this one torn out?”
Wylan looked at it with a soft smile, “I wanted to use my watercolor paints on it, and I didn’t want it to bleed through onto the other pages.”
It was the blue butterfly and grey moth that Wylan had been working on not too long ago. He’d finally finished the painting, and he was very proud of it. Jesper ran his finger along the edge of the page, lost in thought.
“It’s kind of like us,”
“Which one is which?”
“I think it could go either way. I’d say you’re the butterfly, though.”
“Really?” Wylan laughed lightly, “I see myself more as the moth than I do the butterfly.”
“Like I said, it could go either way. Just like me,” Jesper winked.
Wylan rolled his eyes. Jesper handed the sketchbook back to him and leaned back. He fidgeted with the strings of his gloves as he fumbled for something else to say.
“So, where did you apply to college?”
“A bunch of places. My top choice is the University of Ketterdam, but I also applied to a really cool music school in Belendt,” Wylan’s eyes sparkled as he spoke about his options, “That one's a long shot though. What about you?”
Jesper shrugged. “I applied to Ketterdam too. I’m not really sure what I want to do or where I want to go.”
“You still have plenty of time to figure it out.”
Jesper had to hold back a laugh.
“My Da’s not in agreement. He thinks I’m four years behind on career planning. He is more stressed about my education than I am.”
Wylan frowned. “He just cares about you, Jes. I get why you’re frustrated, but… just remember that he’s doing it out of a place of love. He wants you to succeed.”
At first, Jesper was tempted to reply with a snarky comment. Wylan was supposed to be on his side, not his Da’s! But when he looked over and saw Wylan’s expression, his irritation melted away. Wylan was right. His father was doing it out of a place of love.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Anyway, you said you’re going for music? That’s cool. What are you planning to do as a career?”
“Teach. Maybe perform on the side if time allows. What’s your plan so far?”
“Not sure. If I get into Ketterdam, I’ll probably go there and major in something like business. Or maybe sports management? I don’t know.”
“That could be cool. It would be nice to keep going to school together,” Wylan smiled.
“Yeah,” Jesper said quietly, “it would.”
They looked at each other for a moment, and Jesper suddenly felt hot, despite the frigid air around them. Wylan leaned in without realizing it. As soon as he noticed that he’d done that, he moved back to his original position. Jesper took note of this and slowly but confidently pulled off the scarf, wrapping it around Wylan’s neck with practiced precision. They were already close, but Jesper used the scarf to pull Wylan even closer. If Jesper were to so much as shiver in this position, his nose would collide with Wylan’s.
“I didn’t know a human being could get that red,” Jesper snickered.
Wylan shuddered, leaning back just enough to cover his face. He took a second to regain his composure before leaning back in.
“We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for, Wy. We can-”
Jesper was interrupted as Wylan’s lips pressed against his own. It was messy and unsure. Jesper could feel the redhead’s hands hovering, unsure of where to go. He gently grabbed the boy’s shaking hands, moving one to his shoulder and the other to his hip. Wylan squeezed his shirt desperately. Jesper laughed and pulled away for a moment.
“You’re going to rip my shirt off at this rate. Normally that’d be very tempting, but it’s very chilly out here.”
“Right, sorry,” Wylan laughed awkwardly, loosening his grip.
Jesper moved back into the kiss, using one hand to cup Wylan’s face and resting the other on his hip. They remained like that for another moment, and Jesper could feel the thoughts swirling in his head. He was kissing Wylan. He was kissing the boy he liked. He liked Wylan.
He suddenly felt like he was going to throw up.
“That was really nice,” Wylan smiled as he pulled out of the kiss.
Jesper nodded as he tried to stamp down his feelings. He liked Wylan. This was a good thing. He was happy. He was going to be sick. He pulled out his phone and stood up abruptly.
“I- uh- I think my Da is calling me. I have to take this. I- I have to go,” he stammered out.
“Oh, alright. Get home safe,” Wylan tilted his head as he watched Jesper walk away.
Jesper pretended not to see the hurt and confusion in his eyes. He walked to a more secluded area of the park, standing behind a tree as he dialed his father’s number and listened to it ring for a moment. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.
“Everything okay?” Colm’s voice rang out on the other end.
Jesper forced himself to take a breath. “Yeah- yeah, everything’s fine. Can you come pick me up when you get a chance?”
“I thought you were hanging out with Wylan?”
“He um… he had to leave early. His family wanted him home.”
It was a dumb excuse, and they both knew it, but Colm didn’t push it. He told Jesper he was on his way before hanging up the phone. Suddenly, Jesper could feel just how cold it was outside. He kicked a rock around, listening to it thud against the grass. It was a poor attempt to take his mind off the fact that his hands were starting to feel numb. Whether that numbness was from the frosty weather or his anxious feelings manifesting physically, Jesper wasn’t sure.
Jesper could barely wait for the car to be parked before climbing in. He turned on the radio as soon as he got in.
Colm tapped his fingers against the steering wheel as he started to drive off, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“If I try to talk about it, the interior of the car will be painted green.”
Colm nodded. Jesper made a mental note to show his father some extra gratitude when he calmed down. He watched the trees through the window as the car drove past, trying to find something to ease his mind. He blew some air onto the window and started making shapes in the fog.
He went straight to his room and put on some music. He wasn’t really paying attention to it, but it still helped. He didn’t know why he was like this. He wanted this. He’d wanted Wylan to like him back. He’d wanted to kiss Wylan. Why was it that the second he got that, he suddenly wanted to change his name and flee the country? He liked Wylan. He still liked Wylan. Why was he acting like this? What was wrong with him?
He heard his phone buzzing, and he intentionally ignored it. He didn’t want to read it. He didn’t want to confront what had just happened. He wanted it to go away. It kept going off. Every thirty seconds or so, he could feel it buzz through his jacket pocket. Eventually, he pulled out his phone so that he could turn on Do Not Disturb. If he didn’t do that, the buzzing was going to drive him to kick his phone across the room.
He opened his phone to turn on DND but noticed the messages weren’t from Wylan. They were from Kaz and Nina. He could talk to Kaz, and he would love to talk to Nina. That was fine. He clicked on the notifications.
bossy emo (3:42 P.M.): Please educate your… whatever you two are on dealer etiquette. I now need to get a new number. It is very inconvenient.
Dealer etiquette? What? He had no idea what Kaz was talking about right now. Why did Kaz want him to educate Wylan on etiquette? He decided to open the texts from Nina before answering Kaz. There were many more from her. They were mostly just TikToks and Reels that Nina had found funny. Jesper hesitated for a moment before calling her.
“Jesper?” Nina’s voice rang out through the phone.
He cleared his throat, “Hey.”
“Hi,” Nina started carefully. She’d already picked up on the fact that something was wrong, “How’d things go with Wylan today? You told me you two were going to hang out until 5 o’clock.”
“...We kissed.”
Normally, Nina would have cheered and thrown a party in Jesper’s honor, but she must have picked up on the nervousness in Jesper’s voice.
“Okay,” she answered, dragging out the “a” sound, “And how do you feel about that?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Mm, well, that’s helpful.”
Jesper forced out a small laugh, “I… I like Wylan. A lot. More than I’ve liked any of my exes.”
Nina hummed in acknowledgement on the other line, and Jesper began explaining what had happened in the park. He described how one minute it was fine and then all of a sudden a switch flipped in Jesper’s brain.
“It’s not like he’s a terrible kisser or anything either! That’s not why I felt sick. I just… I don’t know,” Jesper sighed, unable to articulate what was going on in his mind.
“It just felt too real, too quickly, and your brain couldn’t handle it?” Nina offered.
“Yes! Exactly! See, you get it. And now it feels like any mention of Wylan makes me want to run for the hills, which makes no sense. I like him! I’m not just leading him on or something-”
“I know. It sounds to me like you’re dealing with some avoidant tendencies.”
“Ew, don’t go all therapist on me,” Jesper whined playfully.
“But I’m not wrong, am I?”
Jesper thought about it for a moment. Nina had a point. He was running from a stable, healthy connection with someone he liked for no reason. Sounded pretty avoidant to him.
“No, you’re not wrong,” he relented, “But what am I supposed to do about that?”
“I don’t know. I’m not an actual therapist. My advice is to text Wylan and be honest about it.”
“Be honest about my feelings? I think I’d rather tear off my skin.”
They both laughed for a moment. He knew Nina was right, but he really didn’t want to talk about his feelings with Wylan. He was getting nauseous just thinking about it. After a moment of silence, Nina spoke up again.
“I know it’s scary, but I promise it will be worth it. Do you want me to help you draft a text to him or anything?”
Jesper sighed, “No, no. I should talk to him about it in person.”
“Are you just using that as an excuse to put off talking to him?”
“... A little. But I also do genuinely think it would be better to talk about this kind of thing face to face.”
“Alright, if you say so. Let me know if you need any more help with this. I’m always here for you,” Nina said softly.
“Thanks. Hey, um, please don’t tell anyone about what I told you. About Wylan and I kissing, I mean. I don’t want people spreading things before I talk to him. I don’t want him thinking I’m the type to kiss and tell.”
“Too late,” Inej’s voice came through, “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with Nina and I.”
That’s wonderful. Just great. Jesper may as well start planning his funeral because he was sure he would die of embarrassment after this. He would have multiple different cake flavors and blow up guitars everywhere. Did they have cakes at funerals?
Jesper was also planning his apology to Wylan. What would he even say? Should he bring some sort of apology gift? When was he going to talk to Wylan? He knew he had to make it up to Wylan with a good, proper apology, and he was determined to do exactly that.
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