Paatha.

Honestly, I'm just going with it aa

[msburgundy-but-worser-deactivat]

whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met ibuprofen

[luimnigh]

Actually literally accurate. The song originates in the 1949 musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, while ibuprofen was invented in 1961.

[bidoctor]

My concern is…

[straydogsandsaranghaes]

#the hot dad vibes coming off olyphant on this show are like radioactive and lethal#the way he honestly genuinely adores his undead flesh-eating wife is also a thing of beauty#like if gomez addams was a slightly anxious loose-hipped white guy#who’s honestly just trying his best with a trying situation of ongoing zombie-ism#but really just loves his wife more than anything else#also i’m so glad he didn’t come off a decade of deadwood and justified and get stuck in a ‘srs violent man’ rut#but went full comedy instead and honestly seems like he’s having the time of his life#santa clarita diet #gif

[betelgeusing]

#the audacity of timothy olyphant to be funny in this show while looking like breakfast lunch and dinner is staggering

[oopsabird]

the reason you were able to read more and do more activities in a day when you were a kid than you do as an adult isn’t because you got stupider, it’s because as a child you generally had your base needs taken care of and your schedule provided to you, so you didn’t have to use as much of your mental and physical energy on planning, life maintenance (ie food and administrative tasks), and general executive function. of course you could focus on reading a novel in two days, somebody else made your lunches and you never thought about phone bills and you didn’t even have to decide for yourself when to take a bath. c’mon

[murielsweddings-deactivated2023]

stopppppp im going to pass away just thinking abt this

[youngbloodbuzz]

#what a way to discover you have a priase kink

[champagne-vagabond]

When I got my first tattoo I told my rather beautiful tattoo artist that I refused to be a wuss and she said “Oh dont worry, if you squirm I will pin you down.”

And that lives in my head rent free.

[exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear]

[cipheramnesia]

“What is it with queer people and tattoos?”

[facelessoldgargoyle]

Something something intricate rituals

[animatedtext]

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Your future self is talking shit about you

[oldtimeydildomachine]

I’m talking shit about me too she ain’t special

[gayblooddonation-deactivated201]

[memeteamofficial-deactivated201]

not again

[larvitarr]

[teeny-tiny-taurus]

[edgar-thorn-deactivated20200514]

Bitch thats me

[sacred-portal]

[mia4rmdallas]

God be sending me signs clear as day and my dumb ass still be like

[nancyishappy]

[lornagonigall]

fuck his shit up Nancy you wild bitch

[trashpits]

who decided skeletons are scary like ???? you have a skeleton do not be afraid of u

[mxnrique]

[tittiesandcities]

[lemonterragonchicken]

if there was a meat man running at me at high speeds i’d be hyperventilating

[scorpiogothgf-deactivated202103]

summer is fun and romantic in theory but for us sweaty bitches it just isn’t realistic

[mooksmookin]

me talking to myself: good point

[attackofthekillershwees]

I’m watching a documentary on Netflix about animals getting prosthetics and this vet just hand sculpted a prosthetic beak for an injured swan and the very first thing it did was use its new beak to bite someone

[manic-pixie-meme-grrl]

that is very on-brand for swans

[smittenstrawberry]

consider: adhd immortal people

“what was it like 400 years ago?” fuck if i know. i don’t even remember what it was like last week.

[strangehorse]

catch me procrastinating basic tasks for twenty times longer

“oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to get around to fixing that window, but I’ve just been so busy, y’know?”

“you’ve lived here since 1740″

[honey-sunny-bee]

MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[rockpapertheodore]

Walking through a museum and seeing some old things of yours and just going “FUCK. FUCK GOD DAMN IT, I’ve been looking for this forEVER” and then trying to haggle with the curator to get your shit back