Coughing Blood at the Wind

Yo, I'm Larissa~ Welcome to my phantasmagoric wonderland, where dreams are love and magic makes the world go round~

[nowindever]

Sometimes you gotta just pace around a room and give yourself your own damn TEDtalk

[writing-prompt-s]

You run a tattoo parlor. Every couple of weeks, the same customer comes in, always requesting the same tattoo: an additional tally mark on an ever-growing cluster of tally marks.

[th4nkyoub3n]

“what are you counting”

“how many tattoos i’ve gotten”

“i’m no longer serving you”

[dateamonster]

vampire dude to his vampire friend: wow.. looks like there’s only one coffin….. what’ll we do?

other vampire dude who reads a lot of fanfiction: we could……….. share it

[the-memedaddy]

[memehumor]

[kompanie-mutter-deactivated2021]

this shouldn’t have made me laugh so hard but I almost cried

[bitchycode]

I’m Janet

[earendil-was-a-mariner]

I really hate to side with Gollum on this, but “what’s in my pocket” is not a riddle and should not have counted. 

[heathens-and-kings]

Do you think people with LED headlights know that everyone hates them? Like…really hates them in an oddly personal way? Do you think they know?

[satanstrousers]

Shes a brick

[maccydoodles]

who?

[satanstrousers]

HOUSE

[perhapsarat]

that scene in the emperors new groove where kuzco and yzma are going back and forth through the kitchen door ordering food from kronk while not noticing the other person is the height of comedy and nothing will ever surpass it

[acrazyinkling]

The emperors new groove is the height of comedy and nothing will ever surpass it

[jaoxn-deactivated20141121]

So apparently it’s a turnoff to yodel during sex?

[googlemenot-deactivated20230921]

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

someone: no two snowflakes are the same. they are all unique, fleeting creations

me [smashing together 20000 of them to throw at my friend’s ass]: that’s beautiful

[mjalti]

it’s funny how UFOs crash like even these highly evolved beings fuck up. we all make mistakes! and professor, that’s why i think you should grant me an extension on this paper,

[saintapplebees]

[marieduplessis]

[spintowin]

she’s out there making owl noises

[techtonicactivity]

who