[tomb-mold]

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

[toastedpinata]

ms.einbinder if you're reading this i am free on thursday night. if you would like to hang out i am free on thursday night when i am free to hang out. i am free to hang out on thursday night so if you want to hang out on thursday night i am free.

[artbyblastweave]

Easily the most annoying kind of vampire in the world are the ones where you finally corner the fuckers and when you're going in with the stake they start spouting off sociology 101 bullshit to try and weasel out of it. "Oh, no ethical consumption under capitalism," "oh, the rich are the real vampires if you think about it-" yeah, yeah, you ate like fifty homeless people, asshole. Hold still

[dialectrician]

Okay but if you aren't a vegetarian your case against vampires is actually pretty weak.

[artbyblastweave]

I SAID HOLD STILL

[urie]

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

[queer-reader-07]

[achillesinhighheels]

[the-owl-tree]

i'll always make fun of how stupid the "born evil baby" trope is but truly it is such a wretched trope i hope it dies forever

[the-owl-tree]

it's like the perfect package of "child you are allowed to harm" and "easy way to not interrogate how commonplace child abuse is". thank goodness this child was simply born wrong, we never have to examine the conditions they grew up in.

[lizmitches]

you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

[narwa]

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from aBigMothInALittleWorld reading: Making art is like this also /End ID]

[yorkshirearthurdent]

I think if I heard I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas in the correct circumstances it could move me to tears. It's like the promise of a brighter future that never came to pass

[billymayslesbian]

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

[torchichate]

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

[jewfrogs]

falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy

falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs

[ostolero]

young old person tip for you all. go get some photos printed (pauses so someone can say bogos binted) and fill out a physical album

[sayaratyriea]

and annotate them with who is in the photos and when and where the photos were taken!!! your extended family 50 years from now will be grateful, and so will you if you end up forgetting any details

[mortimermcmirestinks]

(sprints into room late, looking harried and frantic as fuck) bogos binted. did I miss it

[peppermintgrrrl]

You're all lying about diva cups this cannot possibly be the BETTER option

[dogmotif-deactivated20240505]

hey me and my partner saw you from across the bar we want to kill and eat you

[whimsical-catacombs]

[cages-boxes-hunters-foxes]

every conversation on here increasingly feeling like this tweet

[quixoticanarchy]

I do think it's kind of funny how john green wrote a book about tuberculosis that brought a lot of renewed attention to the subject and he's since become the darling of the tb world, speaks at tb conferences, my dad and every other tb researcher I know is absolutely smitten with him, and they'll be like "we love this guy! have you heard of him??" and I have to be like well yes, I have. for other reasons

[distractionsfromthefood]