Captain Ishmael

{Welcome aboard, greenhorn! } {You are able-bodied and ready for the voyage, I trust?} {He/She/They/It/Neos} {Run By One Person Be Nice}

[pequodcaptain]

Welcome aboard, greenhorn!

Welcome aboard the Pequod! I am Captain Ishmael, but you lot shall refer to me as Captain.

There are few rules that must be followed while aboard my ship, and I will strictly enforce them!

Rule 1 - No hatred of any kind! A crew divided is a crew that will be swallowed by the waves!

Rule 2 - Keep it appropriate! We have some younger members of the crew here who I will not allow to be exposed to such content!

Rule 3 - The Captain's word is law aboard her ship! If I tell you no, there is no negotiation.

Those who refuse to follow the rules will be thrown overboard! Do I make myself clear?

Now, you are able-bodied and ready for the voyage, I trust?

{Hey there! Skye (the owner) here! This is my first time running an ask blog so I might be a bit slow to respond! Please be patient!}

{Tags for navigation!}

{#Captain's Decree - Non-ask posts that add to the story!}

{#Crew's Questions - Asks that have been answered!}

{#Captain's Favorites - In-character reblogs!}

{#Managerposting - OOC stuff, mostly for IRL things but sometimes I just find stuff funny}

{My personal blog is @stellariswandering for those who are curious!}

[pequodcaptain]

I have a personal blog now!

ooc but I finally made a personal blog so I can like…actually reblog stuff! It’s @stellariswandering if anyone wants to follow it!

[poll-position]

Will you be welcoming inbox trick-or-treaters this year?

YES! - Feel free to trick-or-treat in my inbox!

NO! - I would rather not participate!

Voting ended onOct 15, 2024

Please reblog if YES so your followers will know!

[poll-position]

I see this post is getting a lot of reblogs now! Let’s re-do the poll for this year!

Will you be welcoming inbox trick-or-treaters this year? 2025 edition!

YES! - Feel free to trick-or-treat in my inbox!

NO! - I would rather not participate!

Voting ended onOct 9, 2025

[forthefuns]

follow forthefuns for more funny stuff

[invenblocker]

Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.

As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.

But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.

The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture.

[minipupball]

Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?

First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.

Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.

With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?!

[invenblocker]

Say whaaaat?

Well uhm

Look at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.

If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.

And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.

[minipupball]

Still grasping for straws, Wright?

Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.

Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. 

Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. 

Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.  

Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words.

[invenblocker]

I’m sorry Edgeworth.

I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1

But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.

Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.

And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?

While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.

The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture!

[minipupball]

Ack.

(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)

Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!

Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!

… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?

Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.

Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations!

[randomthingieshere]

Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?

[dracophile]

[sp00kybitme]

D E AD

[ultimate-reserve-hope]

I will reblog this any time i see it on my dash

[slime-lilly-deactivated20220926]

Absolutely fucking D E S T R O Y E D

[zaunites-finest]

This is the strongest Tumblr post I’ve ever witnessed.

[fishhater-ieatthem]

This was recommended and as a super logical person I can see why

[makishimuu]

I’ve been looking for this for ages!!

[legendary-posts-collection]

Apparently legendary.

[mx-yip-yip-hooary]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[shirpowbra]

iconic

[worldsentwined]

I swear I’ve reblogged this before but every time I see it I internally scream “THESE BOOKS ARE ON A HOLD SHELF” that’s why they have pieces of paper in them and are not shelved in alphabetical order (they’re shelved by who they’re on hold for). It’s also why the labels on the manga and the graphic novel are different (note how the one says “YA” and the other says “Teen”) - because they’re most likely from different library collections.

Suffice to say, this court case could have used a library employee as an expert witness and saved a lot of time.

[wokeleftistmob]

since this came on the dash again, vi decided to waste several hours of vy day making an objection.lol of this

(flash warning of course)

An online ace attorney case maker and generator.

[certifiedlibraryposts]

Certified Library Post

[unsettlingcreature]

why do you boop?

Love

Mischief

Malice

Duty

Voting ended onApr 2, 2024

(I will boop everyone who reblogs this post, for the record 💖)

[girlbossjodiarias]

graphic design is my passion, WGA and SAGAFTRA strike edition.

donate to the entertainment community fund here: https://secure2.convio.net/afa/site/Donation2;jsessionid=00000000.app20102b?df_id=8117&8117.donation=form1&mfc_pref=T&_ga=2.227582939.752404667.1689448104-1520238986.1689448103&NONCE_TOKEN=24BA8F6E334E6B724766F1198A0FDC2B

donate to the snacklist here: https://actionnetwork.org/fundraising/the-snacklist-support-striking-workers

[lucinatural]

Alright enough messing around, time to ACTUALLY initiate the Reddit refugees I propose Mishapocalypse 3.0 welcome redditors edition. On June 21st(06/21) save this picture, I want it as your pfp, I want it reblogged to hell and back. Edit it however you like. act like you belong on this Hellsite Reblog to spread the word, prepare

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey if you have a pet or pets you need to reblog this rn and tell me in the tags what their names are. bonus points for including what kind of animal.

[thetrippytrip]

I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that

[castlevanian]

@tabbran please add lemon man story to this

[tabbran]

PRESENTING LEMON MAN

[themightyglamazon]

That was a wild goddamn ride

[wereralph]

god this was worth the read

[reeshahasha]

Yes this is long but I promise you the story of lemon man is worth knowing. And reblogging.

[actuallyjuststealingmemes]

What a ride

[buckyeah]

I summoned a shitload of willpower to continue this despite my ADD. WORTH IT

[this-account-is-a-mistake]

l e m o n m a n

[epsilonhybrid]

Lemon man: ALL women and GAY MEN cannot do SHIT they are all USSELESS and yalls business will FAIL unless you have a MAN in CHARGE

jj: lmao what

Lemon man: what???? huh?????? u triggered?????????

jj: whatever you say lemon man

lemon man:

[pretty-frown-deactivated2026011]

GOD TIER POST RIGHT HERE

[watercolourferns]

Nice ending for this…

[rip-paramour]

SNNNRRK

[strawberry-banana-split]

lemon man 🍋🍋🍋

[if-hell-was-a-person]

nothing in life brings me more joy than every time i see this post🍋

[the-haiku-bot]

nothing in life brings

me more joy than every

time i see this post🍋

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[superdogbiter]

Have you ever been bitten by an animal?

Yes and it was my fault

Yes and it was the animals fault

No but i know somone who was bit

No

Voting ended onFeb 17, 2023

If you said yes to the first 3 please explain in the tags what animal it was and what was the damage

[batboyblog]

Do you know any Jews?

I am Jews!

At least one of the people who raised me is Jewish but I'm not

close family/family friends were/are Jewish

I'm married/long term dating a Jew

close friend(s) are Jewish

a co-worker/friend of friend/neighbor person in my life is Jewish

a close on-line friend I talk to regularly is Jewish

I've at least met a Jewish person

As far as I know I've never met a Jewish person in my life.

Voting ended onFeb 17, 2023

I hope people reblog to give us a wide sample size, also I hope people put in the tags explaining in greater detail, or mention any category I might not have thought of

[pequodcaptain]

Hello!

Hey! I'm Skye! I'm new here, so I haven't done much. My Pronouns are any and all, give me your favorite ones! I'm in the Splatoon, Eddsworld, Undertale, Final Fantasy 7, Kingdom Hearts, and Marvel fandoms! General rules time:

Antishippers, TERFS/SWERFS, Pedophiles, Zoophiles DNI

Dont like don't interact

Im just here to vibe, not fight

Thats all!

A graffiti of a white squid with a yellow hat

Look at my little guy

[knightofleo]

Kestrel-dad not sure how to dad but he’s trying his best.

[astarlingdiscovery]

[punished-ned]

Dad loves you and feeds you. But he is also dumb and feeds you a wonderfully done wagyu steak. You are 3 days old.

[swan2swan]

Okay, but check out this video from mid-May 2022 of a Kestrel Dad who just kept piling up voles and mice beside his babies when the mom was injured/killed/mia’d by owls…but then watched one of his babies just swallow a lizard and went “OH. I can feed them small food!” and learned to tear it apart!

EDIT: There’s a not-zero percent chance that this could be the same dad???????? The source is the same–Robert E Fuller–but they could be different birds. 

[swan2swan]

UPDATE: Not only has Mister Kes learned to feed his chicks all on his own…

….the three chicks who were taken out of the nest for intensive care after the mom disappeared were put back in, and he just started feeding them, too.

He’s a single father of six who does not possess the instincts to feed even one of his offspring, but he learned and adopted that behavior without difficulty and is now hunting and providing for six kids all on his own. 

[tuulikki]

[random-chaos-thoughts]

Happy father’s day to the Krestel single dad of 6 Who is doing a wonderful job