The Half Hour S05E09 ā Emily Heller
Show & Tell

#extradirty

Discoholic šŖ©
Monterey Bay Aquarium
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pixel skylines
hello vonnie

romaā
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sheepfilms
noise dept.
Keni
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
will byers stan first human second
NASA
Xuebing Du

oozey mess

Product Placement
wallacepolsom
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
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@perfectednihilism
The Half Hour S05E09 ā Emily Heller
In the heat of battle, photographer Horace Bristol captured one of the most unique and erotic photos of WWII.
Bristol photographed a young crewman of a US Navy āDumboā PBY rescue mission, manning his gun after having stripped naked and jumped into the water of Rabaul Harbor to rescue a badly burned Marine pilot. The Marine was shot down while bombing the Japanese-held fortress of Rabaul.
āā¦we got a call to pick up an airman who was down in the Bay. The Japanese were shooting at him from the island, and when they saw us they started shooting at us. The man who was shot down was temporarily blinded, so one of our crew stripped off his clothes and jumped in to bring him aboard. He couldnāt have swum very well wearing his boots and clothes. As soon as we could, we took off. We werenāt waiting around for anybody to put on formal clothes. We were being shot at and wanted to get the hell out of there. The naked man got back into his position at his gun in the blister of the plane.ā
āAnd well, there was his butt, and I had a camera. I mean I AM a historian.ā
That is the BEST EVER quote about the nature of historians Iāve ever seen
cats are so fake like theyāre theoretically related to apex predators and yet they weigh 8 pounds, sleep 20 hours a day, and scream if you feed them half an hour later than usual
I deeply sympathize because I also like to sleep an unreasonable amount and yell when hungry.
incidentally, you are also an apex predator
apex predators are over-hyped, weāre all just tired and whiny.
Reblog if you, too, are tired and whiny.
I read your post and I'd like to help you get started. Please talk to me about how vegetables aren't real, because that sounds like an interesting af conversation.
Well let me tell you.
Everybody and their cousin has experienced the argumentĀ āis a tomato a fruit or a vegetableā at some point in their lives. Itās a fun bit of trivia, and letās know-it-allās speak condescendingly, or at least they did like 10 years ago.Ā āKnowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit saladā. Whatever.
Which brings up the point, that botany and culinary sciences are very different. Botany is the study of plants, culinary is cooking and how things taste. Botany is science, and it has rules (kind of), where cuisine is full of guidelines that are completely cultural.
Tomatoes are a fruit. A fruit is how many plants have babies, and are made in the ovary of a flower. I have a diagram.
Armed with this knowledge we can know that tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, beans, peas and peppers are all fruit.
āNowā, I ask you, āwhat are lettuce, and cabbage, and spinach, and kaleā?
āVegetablesā, you say, assuredly.
āYes, but, what are they?ā
āā¦vegetablesā, you say, slower, and louder this time, not quite sure what Iām wanting from you.
No. They are leaves.
What are carrots, beets and radishes? Roots. What about celery and rhubarb? Stems. Potatoes? Tubers (food storage for the plant, and where new plant babies will grow from). Garlic and onions? Bulbs (also food storage). Mushrooms? Theyāre not even a plant, theyāre a fungus, in the kingdom of fungi, which is somewhere between the plant and animal kingdoms.
āVegetablesā is just a word for plants that we eat, that doesnāt have enough sugar to be a fruit, and not enough flavour to be a herb or spice.
Botanically speaking, there is no such thing as a vegetable. Theyāre just different parts of a plant that happen to be edible.
There are other plants, normally considered weeds, that can beĀ āeaten like a vegetableā. Dandelion, stinging nettle, dock, purslane, can all be cooked and eaten, making them vegetables, at least to the people to treat them as such. Itās all very cultural, and biased, and based on nothing but what people think it is. Therefore, they are not a real thing, itās just a concept.
fashionably late? more like anxiously early
I will get to class 20 mins early and still be anxious
Because no one else is there yet & is this the right place?? are you here the wrong day??
whatās the betting that potterwatch was just a radio project lee jordan was doing in his spare time and never actually stopped after the war
āHarry Potter was spotted at the local farmers market today, good choices in produce Harry! Gotta love the organicsā
heās the only reporter harry will talk to other than giving official statements when he has to as an auror
āIām speaking to Harry Potter today after the long-awaited conclusion of the trial of quadruple murderer Waldorfus Grenoble. Harry, may I ask you a question regarding the trial?ā
āSure, Lee, I have to be back at work in ten but give it a go.ā
āWhat is in the curry you had for lunch yesterday during the recess? It smelled fantastic and I have to know.ā
āThanks for asking, Lee. Iāve recently come across a book of my great-grandmother Priyankaās notes on her Punjabi cooking and Iāve been trying to recreate her food. I liked that one but Ginny said it was too sweet so Iām making adjustments.ā
āFantastic. Great stuff. Next up we have an update on You-Know-Whoās whereabouts. Not Voldemort obviouslyā heās six feet under, itās been around 2500 days now and heās still going strong, no sign of him being not dead any time soon.ā
āYouāre correct, Lee, heās dead as a doornail and heās going to stay that way. You do realize you donāt need to refer to your infant daughter asĀ āYou-Know-Who,ā right?ā
āSophie starts screaming if either of her dads talks about her and we donāt know why. Any suggestions, and any idea where she is now?ā
āOliver was walking her up and down the hallway outside the World Cup Regulatory Office last I saw her. As for the screaming, with James we gave him the miniature dragon from the Triwizard inĀ ā94 and that entertained him pretty well.ā
āYou heard it here first folks, Harry Potter thinks dragons are an appropriate substitute for pacifiers! Thanks for your time, Harry.ā
āAny time, Lee.ā
āNext weekās password is anything that will make our six-month-old go to sleep for longer than four hours. Signing off, this has been Potterwatch with River and the man himself, Harry Potter.ā
I needed this
Donāt know jack shit about sports but Serena Williams has literally never done anything wrong in her entire life
Let people grow.
When I was younger I was very right-wing. I meanā¦veryĀ right-wing. I wonāt go into detail, because Iām very deeply ashamed of it, but whatever youāre imagining, itās probably at least that bad. Iāve taken out a lot of pain on others; Iāve acted in ignorance and waved hate like a flag; Iāve said and did things that hurt a lot of people.
There are artefacts of my past selves online ā some of which Iāve locked down and keep around to remind me of my past sins, some of which Iāve scrubbed out, some of which are out of my grasp. If I were ever to become famous, people could find shit on me that would turn your stomach.
But thatās not me anymore. Iāve learned so much in the last ten years. Iāve become more open to seeing things through othersā eyes, and reforged my anger to turn on those who harm others rather than on those who simply want to exist. Iāve learned patience and compassion. Iāve learned how to recognise my privileges and listen to othersā perspectives. Iāve learned to stand up for others, how to hear, how to help, how to correct myself. And I learned some startling shit about myself along the way ā with all due irony, some of the things I used to lash out at others for are intrinsic parts of myself.
You wouldnāt know what I am now from what I was then. You wouldnāt know what I was then from what I am now.
It distresses me deeply to think of someone dredging up my dark, awful past and treating me as though that furiously hateful person is still me. It distresses me to see others dredging up the past for anyone who has made efforts to become a better person, out of some sick obsession with proving theyāreĀ āproblematic.ā
Purity culture tells you that once someone says or does something, they can never go back on it. Thatās a goddamn lie. While itās true that some remain unrepentant and never change their ways and continue to harm others, itās important to allow everyone the chance to learn from their mistakes. Saying something ignorant isnāt murder. Please stop treating it that way. Let people grow.
Still call it out and question it ā¦.
Bruh. No. Listen. Call out what people doĀ now,Ā absolutely. If they havenāt changed, call them out on their record. This post is explicitly not about people who HAVENāT changed. What this post IS saying is, if someone is making an effort to be a good person, donāt go digging around in their past for evidence that they were once for what theyāre now against, or once against what theyāre now for, asĀ āproofā of what theyĀ āreally think,ā because peopleās opinions and beliefs can change.Ā
The obsession with finding shit in someoneās past and then claiming that a questionable or even sordid past negates all possibility of a good present needs to become extinct. Gold-star activism and purity culture are bullshit and we need to collectively reject the fuck out of them.
If someone has changed for the better, donāt harass them about what they were like before they fuckinā changed. Thatās shitty and it needs to stop.
Today? Cancelled. Tomorrow? On thin fucking ice
i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because:Ā
i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i liveĀ
most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white personĀ
im not a pissbaby
my white friends that have reblogged this give me life
4. Sometimes I am a shitty white person and the jokes remind me to FUCKIN STOP
If ur white and like this post I fux with u
^absolutely
5. Itās hard to be offended when white people jokes involve bland food/tourist dads in socks and sandals/white girls in yoga pants obsessed with pumpkin spice/suburban PTA moms and other harmless and mostly true stereotypes while jokes about POC involve them being called thugs/criminals/slurs/uneducated/illegal immigrants.
i fucks with u heavy if ur white and you reblog this
6. Theyāre usually really fucking funny and donāt perpetuate stereotypes that will ever affect me economically, politically, or cause me any true harm, let alone create risks that ājustifyā my murder and/or death
Waits for my white mutuals to reblogš
yesyesyesyes
Person: How are you?
Me: Iām fine.
Me, internally: I donāt really wanna do the work today I donāt really wanna do the work today I donāt really wanna do the work today I DONāT WANNA DO THE WORK TODAY
There is explicit nonbinary representation on my math homework
rb if you support them
Binās identity is valid BUTšTHEIRšANSWERšISšNOTš
This is the funniest thing Iāve seen in weeks. Literally, Iāve never been this funny in my entire goddamn life