phantasmagoricalWisterias

the other half of the joke

[wizardarchetypes]

i know i encourage people to learn tree ID and bird ID and love the world around them but the one thing i never warn ppl about is how dramatically it narrows your suspension of belief when you’re watching a tv show filmed thousands of miles from where it’s supposed to take place.

was going bananas watching a show set in Oregon but they didn’t edit out a constant chorus of eastern pheobes in the background, but i persevered. bc one i don’t care THAT much and 2 it’s kinda a fun part of the je ne sais quoi especially if the show sort of sucks

but i do have my limits and when i was watching a show set in northern Ohio, filmed in BC I actually quit it permanently when the characters walked into a stand of coastal douglas firs.

[wizardarchetypes]

frustrated further when i complained about this and someone from the PNW was like “yeah Ohio is so flat and nothing that was too obvious.”

☝️northern Ohio sits on one of the great lakes and was once home to one of the largest wetlands/swamps on the continent. colonial agriculture devastated it but its remnants have persevered. my issue was not that BC was too beautiful to be Ohio. It’s that Ohio’s beauty was not showcased.

[oodles-of-reblogs]

I think you should be friends with this guy

It’s One of the Weirdest Mistakes in Movie History. I Spent Months Investigating How It All Went Wrong.

The story behind cinema’s most mysterious bird.

Tldr: a single scene with a single bird was done so ridiculously incorrectly that this person spent months digging through paperwork and calling people to figure out why!

[theprofessional-amateur]

Quilt guild president: the summer quilt challenge. As you know it is the 250th anniversary-

Guild: -chilly silence-

President: so the challenge to you all is a quilt with your interpretation and/or feelings towards our current “democracy”

Guild: 👏👏👏

President: I know this bunch. I am sure you will come up with something spectacular, and it will probably get angrier as the summer progresses. Full quilt, mini quilt. Go wild, release some emotions.

[theprofessional-amateur]

How I spent my July 4th.

Appliqué almost done. Then onward to the background stitching

[theprofessional-amateur]

At the start I thought stitching “fuck you I won’t do what you tell me” for the last quarter would be therapeutic

I was correct.

Close to finishing the top. Now I gotta figure out how I want to quilt it.

[theprofessional-amateur]

I have one more line of embroidery and I think it needs to be bolder and messier than I started it.

Hard to tell in this light, and without ironing it, that the embroidery does get gradually bolder as it goes. Two strands at the top versus 5 at the bottom (6 for the started to be redone final line).

Not bad for first time doing appliqué.

Still need to decide how I want to quilt it.

[theprofessional-amateur]

@queerasaurolophus thank you for this. It is exactly what I was going for 💜

#!!!! hooooly shit!!!!!!#I love how the spacing also makes ‘hear the people’ into its own imperative#also. hoooly shit holy shit holy shit the combination of these songs is actually making me fucking feral#‘singing the songs of angry men//it is the music of a people who will not be slaves again’ YES YES IT FUCKING IS#ahhhhhh i’m feeling so many emotions right now

I finished the embroidery and gave it a quick press

[vault-heck]

We all love the "becoming the very thing you sought to destroy," trope. but I have a growing fondness for "destroying the very thing you sought to become"

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

Is the guy in the cuck chair supposed to stay quiet or is he allowed to clap and cheer

[foxgirlmindcrank]

he's supposed to take notes and make an intrigued hum when an interesting plot point occurs

[conspiracydeerist]

[blu3str1k3]

[thisarenotarealblog]

one is getting cucked by the bottom and the other is getting cucjed by the top. Subject matter experts discussing the sex like a sports panel

[morganoperandi]

One cuck always lies, the other always tells the truth. You have one question to determine who’s a top and who’s a bottom.

[whumpster-fire]

[ozth]

curious

[yuri-librarian]

They did it, they fucking did it.

[cremia-deactivated20210626]

holyfducjk

[cavebae]

HISTORY

[carrionbeast]

holy shit!

[melongifts]

can someone explain this to me

[coelasquid]

Thirty years ago a legendary ET game came to fruition, so awful that as the tale told, all unsold copies of it were buried in a pit in New Mexico. A documentary film crew has just unearthed the stash, proving the legend true.

[vergess]

I don’t think people fully grasp just how awful it was. This one game, by the sheer merit of its unmatched shittiness, destroyed the video game and console market so thoroughly that the at home video game nearly went the way of the 8-track player.

It was literally so awful that it nearly changed the entire course of technology.

[mortallyposting-deactivated2018]

how can a video game possibly be that bad

[maqkenzie]

People don’t really understand why it was terrible though, and the reasons why are extremely important and relevant especially today.

The game itself is bad, yes. It was built up to be an exciting hit for kids to play at Christmas in 1982. So much in fact, that retailers bought WAY more stock then could every be sold based on the hype.

However, people at the time liked the game. It looks bad now, but the game itself was pretty on par with the times. It wound up selling 1.5 million copies. Which would be great, except Atari was expecting to sell 4-5 million.

While initial reception was positive, critics started panning the game as critics do. While it was no worse than most other games at the time, it was stil frustrating and hard to play. It could not live up to the hype that had been built and negative press built up quickly.

But what was ALSO happening was a flood of cheap imitations on the market. ET is a licensed game, and like all licenses comes at a higher markup. So if you wanted to buy a game for yourself or your kid, would you buy 1 game, or 2 for the same price?

Atari was also screwing around with how they handled their distributors. Just before the game went to public, but AFTER the game had been bought and shipped, Atari announced that they were cancelling every existing contract with distributors and signing with only a select few.

So distributors, now pissed off and with an abundance of games that were NOT selling and with prices slashed horribly to sell games that people were quickly losing interest in, retailers put their claims to return a collective 2.5-3.5 million copies back to Atari. Atari, unable to recycle the cartridges or resell them in any way, wound up burying them in the Nevada desert.

This caused the Video Game Crash of the early 80s that put a dark mark on video games until Nintendo (and in some small part other game companies) to revive later. 

 It was the perfect storm. An over-hyped overpriced game sold to an increasingly frustrated and over-saturated market with retailers scrambling to make a dime while Game Devs blame the market for poor sales.

Some say the proverbial planets are aligning again, with way too many consoles putting way too samey games on the market at way too high a cost with a strong dependence on Pre-orders and pre-order exclusives.

[thehanniecorner]

Wanna give the game a shot?  Internet Archives actually has a copy of it at this link:

https://archive.org/details/E.T._The_Extra-Terrestrial_1982_Atari_NTSC

[lightspeedsound]

this is like the dutch tulip bubble of our times

[viralfrog]

[dear-julien]

Primadonna worm all i ever wanted was to squirm

[dubiousdisco]

[mortalityplays]

talking about impenetrable accents/dialect just reminded me. when I was in Milan a couple of years back I was staying in this little rathole hotel and I had the biggest fucking migraine, so I was like non c'è problema I'll just go buy painkillers. of course every pharmacy on the map in a three block radius was closed, so my stupid ass just starts wandering around trying to figure out on the fly if you can get OTC from supermarkets in italy.

I walk into this little everything store (to my foreign eyes the kind of place that back home could sell you a bunch of carrots, a 6-pack of beer, pantyhose, bleach and a screwdriver set) and I see some household basics in the back but not what I need. with the confidence of a person who is only in the city for 3 days because he got bored and packed a bag and booked the cheapest flight available the week before (<= MENTAL ILLNESS), I was like no worries I know some italian, I can just ask.

I grab a bottle of water, walk up to the counter, and I'm like Ciao, hai il paracetamolo? And the guy is like che, and I'm like paracetamolo. Per la mia testa. And he's like che?

This is where I would have said 'aspirina' except I can't take aspirin for medical reasons, or 'antidolorifico' except I don't know that word and I've got no phone data for google translate and also I'm stupid. So in my fucked up leith-glasgow-italian accent I'm like paaa-ra-cetta-mollll-ooo. He's like ohhh bene, bene, and he calls another guy out of the back and asks him to go get something. Other guy then walks out of the store into the street, and before I can be like hey, che la fuck, he comes back and hands me a huge bundle of herbs.

At this point I'm like okay this entire interaction has been a bust, but these guys have been very nice and patient and they're both smiling happily at me because they've been of service, so I'm like ahh perfetto, grazie, pay them a couple of euros and leave.

EVENTUALLY I find a pharmacy that's open, and my head is fucking killing me, and my phone still isn't connecting, and now I have this small shrubbery poking out of my coat pocket, so I don't even bother looking around the shelves. I just walk straight to the counter and I'm like uhh ciao, scusi. And hearing my nightmare of an accent the guy answers in english and I'm like thank christ, do you please have paracetamol. Not aspirin, I can't take aspirin. And he's like yeah yeah hold on, goes into the back, comes out with what I need.

Only when he comes out he gives me this look, and then he starts laughing. And then he pretends he's not laughing and rings me up and I pay, and as I'm leaving I can see him losing it. But I don't care, my head is going to explode, I'm going back to the rathole to close the blinds and fall comatose for four hours.

When I get back to my hotel room I take off my coat and remember the huge bouquet of herbs in my pocket. They smell amazing, and I'm like I'm pretty sure this is parsley in which case I can just get some tomatoes and mozzarella later and make it work. but since I have no idea what that interaction was, I want to make sure. I bring out my phone to get a visual reference of what parsley leaves look like, and because I was using it for google translate earlier I put 'parsley' in the wrong box like a dope and translate it to italian.

prezzemolo

I wish I could have been the pharmacist in the moment he looked at my tired pissed off anglophone ass, heard me say 'paracetamol' in my fucked up accent, and turned around saw what was in my pocket. I'd have lost my shit too.

[userfish]

don’t listen to what anyone says the elephant really ties the room together

[dizzydennis]

[aurpiment]

New hairstyle “monkhawk” which is like the tonsure of a medieval European monk gelled to stick straight up forming a basket-like shape

[operatorfortheboogeymen]

I drew fanart.

[notajerusalemcricket-deactivate]

[duskdragonxiii]

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

[duskdragonxiii]

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

[quasarkisses]

Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog

[duskdragonxiii]

Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry

[str-ngeloop]

everything you see on tumblr is biased towards the perspectives of the types of people who post a lot on tumblr. this is essential to remember

[recklessmoss]

say what u want about the manscaped ads I know they are shit, all of them but the “evil, sinister, malcontent, balls” one puts me into fucking hysterics actually

[recklessmoss]

please this is SO funny

[recklessmoss]

HUH?!

[bigbadbutch]

[benepla-deactivated20200506]

something has been BOTHERING MEEEE…………ok so in the 80s, you have Heathers. the 90s had Clueless. the 2000s had Mean Girls. what is the definitive teen girl drama comedy of the 10s? 

[vx3-deactivated20191124]