~books~

[kragehund-est]

no more "in my humble opinion", from now on it's "from my grandiose and objectively correct deductions".

[octobercider]

Happy first day of fall!!!!

[roamingbogwoman]

All I want is for weird little girls to be themselves

[tastefullyoffensive]

Talk about a missed opportunity. Money with Katie

[memewhore]

[only-tiktoks]

[hamletthedane]

Best part is the background commentary from the other seventh graders:

Student 1: How does he do that???

Student 2, in a bored tone: he’s gay, he can do anything 🙄

[jaskaliina]

man this is so funny

[anthony-samaniego]

mt rainier mirror instagram

[internettythings]

[gorillaheritageposts]

gorilla heritage post

[sleepy-bebby]

hostile work environment

[memewhore]

[ryan-sometimes]

Saw this tweet and had to collect Ryan Gosling’s best PR quotes for Barbie

[ryan-sometimes]

Hey uh brand new addition

[guerrillatech]

[vixxey]

👏 let 👏 people 👏 get 👏 sloppy 👏 on 👏 company 👏 time 👏

[pro-gay]

interesting how they didn’t share this instead where study show that productivity has actually increased, almost as if people tend to do their jobs more efficiently when they’re not miserable

Surprising Working From Home Productivity Statistics (2021)

With the world discovering alternative ways to work without human contact, the work from home force is getting a facelift.… Read More »

[porcupine-girl]

And both can be true simultaneously…. My BiL was just telling me that he’s so far ahead on his quotas (and his whole unit is) that their manager keeps telling them to slow down a little so he spends like 3 hrs a day on video games and is still ahead.

The ways we could restructure our economy if we were willing to admit that working people to the bone is NOT the most efficient way to do things and isn’t good for people OR companies…

[geocorn]

40 hour weeks are antiquated and abusive relics that no longer need to exist.

[anarchistmemedistro]

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[toastbutteregg]

[sorcererest-sorcerer]

Do not cite the deep magics to me, witch. I was there when it was written.

[only-tiktoks]

[verdepaola]

Kay Nielsen, (1886-1957), Danish illustrator.

[ur-daily-inspiration]