Shimp Enthusiast

wait a minute... If I'm here and you're here then wHO'S DRIVING THE BUS???!!!!!

[this-is-trans-joy]

I’m trying to look for synonyms of sneer and i’m fucking dying

yeah that looks normal… yeah these are all— um. hold on. hang on.

what

[the-ravens-king]

[mochiiknight]

Stop asking me for vending machines on my beaches!!!!! This is not design by committee!!!!!!!!

[boiledegghole]

americans love doxxing their home states more than anything. we hear the name of our home state and everything goes black and we wake up 10 minutes later, having reblogged no fewer than 8 posts featuring the name of our home state

[princessbonecrimes]

h/t to emilyscartoons

[upsettingandunfortunateclasshate]

My son's tattoo hurt me deeply

When Tess Morgan's son came home with a tattoo, she was griefstricken. She knew her reaction was OTT (he's 21) but it signalled a change in their relationship

This is gold this, absolute gold, the most over the top melodramatic hysterical ridiculous thing I’ve ever read

[brawlcloud]

This is actually so interesting to read- it’s from 2012 but its full of the same anxieties, even some of the same phrasing that many of the guardian’s later pieces on transness use. really hammers home how much of the terfism that emerged in the late 10s was middle class mothers angry at a loss of control over their adult children- whether that be their bodies or their friends or their opinions- and making that everyone’s problem because they have the power to do so

[monkey-cat-vivi]

He says, “I’m still the same person.”

I look at him, sitting there, my 21-year-old son. I feel I’m being interviewed for a job I don’t even want. I say, “But you’re not. You’re different. I will never look at you in the same way again. It’s a visceral feeling. Maybe because I’m your mother. All those years of looking after your body – taking you to the dentist and making you drink milk and worrying about green leafy vegetables and sunscreen and cancer from mobile phones. And then you let some stranger inject ink under your skin. To me, it seems like self-mutilation. If you’d lost your arm in a car accident, I would have understood. I would have done everything to make you feel better. But this – this is desecration. And I hate it.”

[idlelizard]

cookie beast, stay tuned for his post-oven evolution...

[idlelizard]

wait he's cute!!!

[goatshizun]

happy pride everybody!! 🏳️‍🌈

[lilyblisslys]

me with the. When she. When her. When the she her me

[mollyjames]

[goatshizun]

bings!!!!!

[goatshizun]

wish my artstyle didn't constantly change but whatever

PLEASE FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER its so dead there

[dogpuppy]

[phillip-bankss]

I'm sorry your parents named you Philip ☹ I could name you something better

[alexandria-stone-author]

I FOUND THE TWEET THAT GOT ME TO WATCH PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

[cipheramnesia]

Lakes and graveyards are very similar in that if you detonate a large explosion inside either one a lot of dead bodies come to the surface.

[geekandmisandry]

Hi, um. How is being the necromancer's apprentice going for you OP?

[cipheramnesia]

You want I should raise dead, I raise dead, no problem. You want banish dead, no problem, have plenty more nitro. I do this, ten minutes.

[dee-the-red-witch]

CHUNKY STEW IS NOT BANISHMENT.

[cipheramnesia]

Chunky stew, very bad necromancer. We banish, no problem, no chunks. I give you number of cousin Yvgeny. Will power wash house, very good prices. No other necromancer does this for you.

[geekandmisandry]

Is....is...is Yvgeny....alive?

[cipheramnesia]

Eh. Is alive enough.

[liarsblade]

Fanfiction is cool because you get to learn what other people's parents taught them the hymen is like

[liarsblade]

I know that I had somewhat unusually comprehensive sex ed but it still surprises me every time I'm reminded that some people genuinely think that losing your virginity is a capri sun kind of situation.

[footlongdingledong]

dip shit you are not turning into the joker. you are barely even turning into the penguin or th e ice guy

[mariana-oconnor]

Conversation that probably happened

The King of the Dead, who has been an undead dramatic bitch for centuries: Right, good plan, but how about, instead of just rushing out and murdering them all immediately... you three go out, and they think 'oh there's only three of them' then you say something badass and then we come swarming out across the water and kill them all.

Aragorn, who loves smoking a pipe dramatically in dark corners: Yes, we can definitely do that.

[my-dailydreams]