cherry boy incubus

I am just a weak little thing that can't survive without being cared for. 27, Nonbinary boyish leaning (demiboy) but feminine in nature. (This is a side blog, but I treat it as my main one now)

[pitiful-little-prince]

I'm sorry, I really am...this was never supposed to be a vent blog...things have just been really difficult for so long and I have no where else to go...I'm sorry, I really hate my life...

[pitiful-little-prince]

I'm tired of this stressful human life...I just want to be kept as a pet by someone kind in a quiet town with a house near/in woods and by the shore...

[pitiful-little-prince]

Tadc ep 9 spoilers + personal thoughts about myself-

While watching some of it was hard for me personally, I think I really needed this.

Jax's story, her pain and trauma...I've felt it all before myself as a kid...and again recently...

Hating, hiding, and repressing myself to the point I feel like I am at an edge...feeling so hopeless and unlovable...

I don't know if I can make it myself or if I will fall down the same path, but I am trying...

I don't want that crying child inside me to be ignored anymore...I think I want to embrace my feminine side again...

[babyybrat-deactivated20200215]

oversized hoodies make me feel safe and cute

[pitiful-little-prince]

This is not the time for an identity crisis again...why is this happening to me again when I watch things I love...?

[pitiful-little-prince]

How am I so messed up that I have been depressed enough to wanna d!e, but then I read some ns.fw bl with very much dc and suddenly my mood is better. I knew I was messed up, but wtf... >.>

[pitiful-little-prince]

Why does no one ever choose me...am I truly so worthless...? No one would even notice...even if they did, it would be like a drop in the ocean of their lives...

[pitiful-little-prince]

Why do the words always fail to come out when I am so desperate to cry for help...I guess it's just as well...I don't have anyone to truly turn to anyways...I just want someone to save me...

[clleanlliness]

losing your passion for creating is the most infinitely painful thing in this entire world

[pitiful-little-prince]

I just wanted to leave behind something beautiful, something to show everything in my soul...but maybe my struggle and failure is exactly that...

[pitiful-little-prince]

I often feel my life isn't tragic or sad enough to justify me being the the way I am...maybe I am the problem after all...

[pitiful-little-prince]

I just want someone to save me from it all, take me away and run away with me somewhere far away where no one will find us...keep me safe and loved somewhere away from it all...no more pain, no more worry, only love and a chance to see that life doesn't have to be pain...

If only I didn't have an actually decent family to feel guilty about leaving...

[pitiful-little-prince]

No more pretending to myself like I can do this...no more lies...I don't think I want to live...

[pitiful-little-prince]

I just want to give up everything and escape into the past...the feelings I miss...everything...

[soulxstealer]

oh to fall asleep in someones lap with them stroking my hair 🥺

[pitiful-little-prince]

I'm so freakin scared going to college and still being this messed up...I'm already starting to lose it...

[avpdculture]

avpd culture is being so so jealous of fictional characters.

like, i'm currently watching a series where one character is really awkward and shy, but she still makes friends at her academy after a few days. because other people are like "aww, she seems so sweet and soft and scared - i wanna help her settle in, and get to know her."

meanwhile when i'm acting like that - hell, even when i'm trying not to act like that - people at my university just don't give a fuck. like they don't even see me. they're wrapped up in their own business, their own friend groups, and don't even bother looking at the person sitting alone.

how come fictional characters get tight-knit friend groups where they're accepted and supported for who they are, while i only get struggling to have any conversations and still being alone?

~