݁ᛪ༙ K!LLER ݁ᛪ༙

˚₊‧⁺˖✮ ¹⁸ + 𝒞𝒲 • ²³ • 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎/𝓈𝒽𝑒 ✮˖⁺‧₊˚ 𝐢 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞 >ᵥ_ᵥ<

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‧˚꒰🍷꒱༘‧— sb: @gorygladiators

🗡 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𑣲

🗡 𝐌𝐲 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐈𝐬 𝐊𝐚𝐥𝐢 ⭑.ᐟ

🗡 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 ꉂ(˵˃ ᗜ ˂˵)

🗡 𝐈’𝐦 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 & 𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 ✌︎㋡

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Why is it absolutely embarrassing to get caught planning to end your life 😭

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Crazy how I am the most miserable I’ve ever been yet I actually think I look the hottest I’ve ever been

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I asked my brother “what do you think about when we hug?”

“I was just waiting for the song to end.”

“What was touching my mouth. It was a hair thing.”

“Why is that cat staring at me.”

And I’m wayyyy over here thinking

“I don’t want him to leave.”

“I wish this would never end.”

“How short will this hug be this time?”

“Okay stay present so you can remember this.”

“What body sensory experience should I focus on this time to ingrain this into my head?”

“How am I going to keep myself alive after he leaves?”

“Do I leave with him?”

“What about my sister? She’ll be so heartbroken more than before.”

“Would life be any better there? Probably not.”

And that’s when i realized just how drastically we grew up differently and have been treated differently and how men are in general lmao

he’s also a teenager so and he hates physical touch but has been nice enough to give me hugs because I’ve been struggling so much lately

ok yeah I think I have enough energy to cry again

He’s my safe person now and of course he’s leaving. the exact thing I didn’t want happening but whatever I guess

My dad is starting to become a safe person too and we’re just starting to hang out more and get to know each other again and he’s leaving too

My brother keeps saying I need to not think that way cuz I keep saying “well you’re gonna leave anyway.” But it’s all I think about

I really might end it all when he leaves

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This has already been such a shit fucking day and then I find out my bias is actually 18 and not 20 like I thought

He just turned 18 this year and his birthday is march 20

he’s not 20 his fucking birthday is !!

I’m going to fcking pew pew myself

This day has been so fucking bad

Add even worse stomach issues now to the mix

& the day is going to be shit tomorrow as well

I fucking cried for 2 hours alone then my brothers step dad came home and he made me cry for 2 n half to 3 hours and then my brother got home and I cried some more to him about what happened and guess who needs to cry some more :) me yep. Probably going to cry some more tomorrow as well since we have to have another talk this time I’ll be recording you fucking dick shit

I’d elaborate but I’m tired asf and nobody cares

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When I lived with my mom I somehow still had hope for my future but now that I’m out and living with my brothers family

it’s been better but still really sucks and I’ve lost all hope entirely that things will get better and think this is as good as it’ll get and it’s still not good :/

I’m 23 and it feels like it’s just going to keep getting worse and I’m wasting time

I’ve also been trying to accept that I’m just fucked up and itll always be that way so I need to learn to live with it and accept I can’t do a lot of things that many many people can do

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I be thinking “I really want a girlfriend.”

then see a photo of my fav male actor and go right back to my default settings

Like fuck 🤦

I want both

Give me both damn it!!

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Thought everyone could use a laugh haha

*not my video

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Never beating the weird girl allegations

When I was a kid at my little sisters birthday party I showed everyone shadow man videos on the old ass computer

They still remember it hahahahahaha

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