i don’t understand either

My name is Claire and I am ready to fuck shit up. She/her

[uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

2016-2020

[literallymechanical]

Did anybody have “mysterious 12 foot tall metallic monolith discovered in the desert” on their 2020 bingo card?

(Source)

[shes-so-zazzy]

it gets better

[viforeverything]

two

[normal-horoscopes]

TWO

[memewhore]

[3go]

i downloaded this god damn episode just so everyone could watch this fukkin clip

[soundssimpleright]

The feedback bit is inspired.

[titaniagigante-deactivated20210]

Keegan Michael Key’s quick thinking to get involved was GENIUS.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

lmaoooo

[roguemechanic]

That bitch haunted as fuck.

[catchymemes]

[afro-evolutionary-astrology]

Mutual aid really be changing shit for people in beautiful ass ways

[myeclecticdream09]

[thou-creature-of-the-deep]

[cubanpercy]

[what-a-catch-donkey-deactivated]

[lotrlocked]

[rinasaurusrex]

[andthosearesmalleragents]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[guooey]

[teasihyn]

friendly reminders with stock photos

[witchiestsuggestions]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[sour-soda]

They also go by PEARs

[thecrabbybarista]

Local minor now hates pears even more than previously thought upon discovering an acronym

[tis-thy-girl]

new pedo terminology. know it, stay safe

[theoneandonlyredrobin]

Friendly reminder

Gotta clear out the trash because apparently I’ve accumulated terf and pedo followers

[princessbriarrose]

UNFRIENDLY REMINDER! if your a child fucker. GET. THE. FUCK. OFF. MY. BLOG. i am a minor and so are most of my friends. if i see any of you hurting them i’ll hurt you!

[aureolinthoughts]

Pedophiles should choke and die.

[mapsontheweb]

How close do their borders come to?

[changeling-ash]

Hmmm…Seems like they touch.

hmm??

…you have to be kidding me.

…..

…Wow….

[metrickulous]

[mx-t4t0]

yep it checks out

[galvanizedfriend]

[leatherleaves]

I recently started working in hospitality, and I’ll tell you guys right now, the trope of “there was only one bed” is not as rare as you’d think in real life. A few times a week, at least, I have guys come in who are working together on projects in town or passing through who have to literally book the last room I have available for the night and lo and behold — there is only one bed, and guess what, they give each other a side-eyed look and begrudgingly take it. So write it up, it happens all the time!!!

[karis-the-fangirl]

[blatant-phishing-attempt-bot-de]

Never let your There Was Only One Bed dreams die. I was secretly in love with my best friend for over a year when she graduated and moved to Oklahoma (like 1000 miles away) for grad school. Between that travel restrictions, we were so scared we’d never see eachother again.

At the end of summer, when Covid numbers were at a lower point, I took the risk to visit her in her new apartment and I quickly realized that, unlike when I’d spent the night at her house before, the couch wasn’t made up like a bed. She explained that since her new couch was so fancy and pink, I couldn’t possibly sleep on it, and so I needed to sleep in the bed with her. You know, out of necessity. I woke up with her snuggled around me in the middle of the night.

We’re dating now, and I genuinely think I’m going to marry her. Just the other day, though, I mentioned that if she hadn’t been weird about her fancy couch, I probably never would have like confessed my feelings. AND THEN she stood up, took the cushions off the fancy couch, UNFOLDED IT INTO A HIDE-A-BED, and said “I KNOW.”

THIS GIRL. ORCHESTRATED. BED SCARCITY. JUST SO SHE COULD MAKE THE “ONLY ONE BED” EXCUSE. Y’all when I said I just about lost my goddamn mind, I just about lost my goddamn mind. I love this sneaky bitch so much and the moral of this story is BE THE ONE BED YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

[leet911]

Fanfic imitates life, and life imitates fanfic. It’s full circle really.

[glumshoe]

Dad kept hiding pine nuts in the pages of this magazine and letting Edgar root around for them.

(Edgar cannot be released to the wild due to an injury. He now works as an ambassador bird and general household nuisance.)

[glumshoe]

Edgar has added to his vocalizations since I last saw him! He used to only say “oh wow” in a really sarcastic voice and to mimic the trill of a screech owl. Now he also screams “WHAT?!” and mumbles “what a WHOPPER!”

It was hysterically funny discussing politics with him in the room. We’d mention some new scandal and he’d randomly interject with cries of astonishment.

[fieldbears]

Please let Edgar know that I love him

[unlicenseddrsexymd-deactivated2]

Edgar has graced my dash twice today and I learned something new each time. I too love him.

[banashee]

I love everything about this, most of all the fact that you named him Edgar because it makes me think of Poe’s “The Raven” immediately

[glumshoe]

His full name is Edgar Allen Crow.

[circusgender]

Badgender flag

it’s when your gender is not good

[circespigfarm]

[crittizen]

The look on her face when she realizes

[aegri-somnia-vana]

Here’s what they said if you didn’t understand-

Interviewer: What do you think about starting an initiative on campus here at UK, to be more inclusive to women who have penises? So we can put urinals in the womens restroom for them.

Student: Sounds fantastic.

Interviewer: Oh, does it?

Student: Yeah.

Interviewer: What about- Let’s take it one step closer, y'know more- for inclusivity here on campus, but free tampons and pads in the mens restroom for men who have periods?

Student: Sounds great.

Interviewer: Ok- You dont see anything wrong with those statements?

Student: No.

Interviewer: What men do you know with periods?

Student: I generally use- ones like in Willy T* have pads, I use them pretty often.

*(Willy T is the college nickname for their library I’ve heard.)

[lost-clause]

I attend this school and I can confirm 2 things. Yes, our big library is indeed called Willy T AND the day that this stank bitch came to campus everyone was losing their MINDS and kept walking by in hopes of getting chosen to call her out. Immaculate.

[iclimbtreestofeelalive]

i. am on the floor. wheezing. the moment she realizes that not only is she talking to a trans man,, but that SHE COULDN’T CLOCK HIM,, this is high art and i want it written in Big Wedge sharpie on my wall

[sheikah]

31 Days of Halloween - What We Do in the Shadows (2014) dir. Taika Waititi & Jemaine Clement