Poetic Promises/c.e.h

hi I'm chloe I'm twenty two and sometimes I write poetry. hope you enjoy, please credit if using my poetry elsewhere. (((:

[poeticpromises]

I thought you were the problem

your disrespect made leaving you easy

walking away felt like running free

I never did look back.

I thought you were the problem

but here I am at an all too familiar junction

maybe leaving anyone can be easy

is this how I teach myself to stay?

-c.e.h // he said I never really loved him

[poeticpromises]

I hope the shit you did keeps you up at night.

it sure keeps me up //c.e.h

[poeticpromises]

Welcome to my wonderful mind, where my paranoia lives and insecurity makes itself at home. Anxiety has put the kettle on and low self-esteem is braiding my hair. As temperamental wraps me in a blanket, irrational passes me a pillow. Loneliness smiles as depression locks the door and says you are safe here, with us.

the house inside my head // c.e.h

[poeticpromises]

[poeticpromises]

I don't miss you, I just miss the time I lost on you.

self improvement //c.e.h

[poeticpromises]

Rage Like I've never felt before, crawled up on the bathroom floor, crying over Lies you spoke so well I've forgotten when you were being honest and if I'm being honest I am sick of feeling nothing but Insecure All the time because you think the grass looks greener, Maybe it is, Maybe I look like nothing to you Maybe I'm someone else's emerald my grass is greener // c.e.h

[poeticpromises]

Sometimes I wonder if you think of me but more often I wonder if you ever really did Now and then I think of what you did to ruin us but more often I wonder if you did this on purpose I know you heard what they've been saying I wonder if I will be the last to know More recently I wonder if my name is stuck in your throat, if it makes you uncomfortable, if it's too hard to swallow, what you did. I wonder if you knew we were wrong all along, if I was a distraction from your reality.

-c.e.h // why couldn't you tell me

[poeticpromises]

This time I touch my skin with kindness, fingertips gliding across my legs with pride instead of caution. Today my mirror looks less haunted my reflected body less contorted. This time I touch my skin with forgiveness, I'm sorry for everything I did, everything I said to you. This time I touch my skin with power, there is nothing more powerful than a woman at peace with her own body.

-c.e.h // Self healing

[poeticpromises]

heavy hearts

[poeticpromises]

I love your writing!!!

thank you so much makes me so happy to hear! 

[poeticpromises]

my heart sinks as I wonder if this feeling of inadequacy is becoming permanent

c.e.h // 1am tears

[poeticpromises]

Tears cling to my face like the only friends I ever had, the pit in the bottom of my stomach welcomes me home. I wipe my feet on the welcome mat of self hate, I wish my pain would evaporate but this feeling is so familiar I mistake it for my own indentity. All I have tonight is empty walls, silent phones, lonely bones.

c.e.h // come in, take over my skin

[poeticpromises]

As your laugh mimics mine, as our bodies intertwine, I realise we are perfect for each other. Like I have felt with no other previous lover. My smile as wide as yours, my heart as full and my eyes as bright. I want you by my side day and night, for you will always be the most important extention of me

-c.e.h//together we are something else

[poeticpromises]

the heart is foolish 

[poeticpromises]

I hope you never look at her like you looked at me, expectantly. If she should come next I hope you change your mind, I hope you hold her body like it could break at your fingertips. I hope you never look in her eyes and wonder if she loves you enough to watch you walk right in and out of her heart, uninvited. I hope, I fucking hope, you love her enough to cause her no harm, no pain, I hope she never feels the same.

c.e.h // good luck and goodnight

[poeticpromises]

you are powerful i promise

[poeticpromises]

such an innocent question,"whats wrong?" they ask. how do i say that faceless demons are hurting me. how do i explain the sea of undeserved tears, the countless complicated fears. how can i describe the feeling of emptiness to a human so full of life. how can i justify my desire to disappear. I don't think i can. I gulp and reply, just tired. For it is not deceit, for i always wish to be asleep

c.e.h // dont ask, we cant tell