Anonymous Writer

Writing in the dark.

[polasworld]

Every once in a while, I think about you and everything that went down between us. I look at your life now, and I look at mine, and I finally understand why we never worked out. Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, there's someone out there more suited to handle your good and your bad. I’m not saying we wouldn’t have been happy, I’m saying we wouldn’t have been the greatest. So, despite the heartache we each brought into each other’s lives, I’m thankful we happened -

and, ultimately, failed.

[polasworld]

[secret-mind]

If you need someone to talk to, mesage me

[quotefeeling]

“There are things we don’t want to happen but have to accept; things we don’t want to know but have to learn; and people we can’t live without but have to let go.”

— Jennifer Jareau

[sad-empty-lost]

My life

[polasworld]

Day 2

The hurt has settled deep in my chest

a heavy feeling

that neither booze nor cuts can save me from

the slow acceptance

of a future without you

of a future you so clearly deserve

the hangover with which I welcome each new day

and the complete inebriation that I end it with

you asked me to cheat

to make this choice

easier for you -

a choice we both know is the inevitable ending

I want to say that I've been playing with the idea in my head

and that it doesn't fill me with the urge to claw out of myself

that it's been easy to fall back into old habits

fit back into the person I used to wear perfectly

but the thought of starting with somebody else not you

fills me with the urge to vomit

leaves a nasty taste in my mouth

So forgive me

for not making anything easy for you

to be honest,

you should know this by now

nothing easy comes from being with me

[quotefeeling]

“Don’t let the concept of change scare you as much as the prospect of remaining unhappy.”

— Timber Hawkeye

[sarahthepoet]

I will forever love you❣️

[polasworld]

If breaking our hearts now means you'll be happier in the future, then darling I'd do it. Because you will always be the best part of me and your happiness will always be something I'd put first over everything else

[polasworld]

I don't know how to do this anymore.

I feel like I'm drowning and whenever I try to type a message to anyone to reach out, to ask for help, to vent, I can't seem to send it.

How do you explain something that you don't even understand? How do you tell people you're just sad for no other reason than you are?

I'm so fucking tired. I'm back to drinking every night. I'm back to wishing I have a blade with me just to numb something I can't even name.

[polasworld]

To love her meant letting her go

[depresseddisneyprincess]

[polasworld]

I spent years of my life trying to become somebody you wanted me to be. I had to cut away pieces of myself just so I can put something entirely different in it’s place. Carve out the foundations of myself so we can build it into something you can maybe fall in love with. And at the end of it all, you asked me whether any of it was real. Darling, you and I played Frankenstein on myself and isn’t it funny how you never understood how I turned out to be the very monster you and I created?

- monster

[camtrouvaille]

A part of me didn’t want you to stop. A part of me wanted you to kiss me until my lips were swollen. A part of me wanted you to crawl into bed with me and hold me. I bet it took all of your self restraint to tear yourself away from me and walk out of my room. I know leaving was hard so hard you had to come back and kiss me again. And maybe the lines are blurry because I remember we said we were just going to be friends but sometimes it feels like we would be better at being more than just that.

-C.C.

[polasworld]

“We stayed longer than we should have. Long after the fights turned nasty. When words were said with the intention to cut instead of to heal. When hands turned hard and open palms curled upon itself to form into fists. We called it love. Others called it abuse. We called it broken, others called it dangerous. We found beauty where there is none, found a place to live inside the chaos and destruction they call trauma. Eventually, everything came to a head. When bruises can’t be explained by, “I’m on my period and I bruise easily.” When words cannot be taken back by an “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean them when I said it.” When “Please give me one last chance” was said one too many times.”

— Trauma

[polasworld]

We stayed longer than we should have. Long after the fights turned nasty. When words were said with the intention to cut instead of to heal. When hands turned hard and open palms curled upon itself to form into fists. We called it love. Others called it abuse. We called it broken, others called it dangerous. We found beauty where there is none, found a place to live inside the chaos and destruction they call trauma. Eventually, everything came to a head. When bruises can't be explained by, "I'm on my period and I bruise easily." When words cannot be taken back by an "I'm sorry. I didn't mean them when I said it." When "Please give me one last chance" was said one too many times.

Trauma

[quotemadness]

“I admire people who have the ability to touch you and still be thousands of miles from your presence.”

— William Chapman

[polasworld]

The world was blessed with an angel the day that you were born. And I will always be thankful for it. I’m sorry I never got to spend it with you.

Happy Birthday (via deepthoughtsofanobody)